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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think children don't need to spend the whole afternoon grazing on food

75 replies

emkana · 13/04/2010 20:38

Met up with friends at the park this afternoon. Friends had brought bags stuffed with food - choc bars, crisps, fruit, babybels, biscuits... I had brought - nothing. We had had lunch and were going to have dinner, I was possibly going to buy them an ice cream as a special holiday treat, but aibu to not understand why children need to be constantly be fed little snacks all through the afternoon? They're not toddlers either, they're age five to eight.

OP posts:

abouttoleave · 13/04/2010 23:50

YANBU This really annoys me too. Also when people take tupperware boxes of snacks and drinks to things like church services that only last an hour

piscesmoon · 14/04/2010 06:39

It doesn't matter if they are skinny, I can't see why a DC should be thinking of food if they are out in the open air, having fun with friends.

activate · 14/04/2010 08:40

God the things that have nothing to do with other people that piss other people off never fail to amaze me

when I first got here I laughed at all the no judgement / how dare you judge comments - I now begin to see it's because you judge the oddest things that people are against you judging at all

seriously, get a life!

TheLadyEvenstar · 14/04/2010 08:44

I am just getting ready to meet a few friends and go to a farm.
I have...
12 rolls
24 bags of crisps
20 drinks
flask of hot chocolate
1 sandwich (for me)
8 eggs

each of us has around the same amount of food as well so that the rugrats are not whinging and whining that they are hungry. They are aged 2 - 11

joster · 14/04/2010 08:53

My DD (4) and DS (5) continually ask for food from 7am til 7pm, it drives me crazy. DS in particular will eat everything I give him (try to make plenty of the extra stuff fruit or healthy based!) and he will then go on to eat all his meals, have seconds, ask for puddings etc. All their meals are "good", no ready meals or junk, so they eat properly. He has three full bowls of cereal every morning.

I am, sadly, one of the parents who cannot leave the house without secret stashes of some kind of snack. I hold out as long as I can, do offer them their drinks first always, and tell them that the more they ask the longer it will take, but ultimately, they seem to really need the food....

I know it's annoying to see, believe me, it's annoying to be a 24 hour vending machine of meals and accompanying stuff, I never stop catering, but if I try to push them through to a meal time with absolutely nothing in between they kind of go into a weird spiral close to meltdown, I think their bodies need a pick me up (though not every half an hour, I agree!)

And they are v. slim, DS is pure skin and bone!

LisaD1 · 14/04/2010 09:45

Surely, it's about their parenting choice for what they see right for their children? I can imagine the constant talk of food would be irritating.. actually.. I know it's irritating as my own DD (2.5) is ALWAYS asking for food. This is only if we are at home though, if we're out she never moans. She does it at home as she knows there's things to eat, when we're out I take nothing with me, unless we're going on a picnic, so she doesn't bother to ask (unless of course we see an ice cream van or similar).

My DD is super skinny (and I'm super jelous!) she NEEDS to consume the calories she gets from her snacks BUT I also think they should be at set times and not a constant grazing. She has 3 meals and 2 snack times, I think that's plenty. But that is MY parenting choice, same as the constant grazing is your friends choice. Either get used to how they do things/say something/get new friends!

toccatanfudge · 14/04/2010 09:51

DS1 (9) would just have 2 meals a day if I let him

DS3 (2 1/2) does graze a ltitle - but he doesn't eat big meals (usually) so I spread it out through the day to make sure he's getting a balance.

DS2 (6) eats constantly, all the time, in (what feels like) huge quanitities, he'll have a drink followed by "what can I haaaaaaave".

He eats his meals, he sleeps exceptionally well (he's by far my best sleeper of the 3 always has been) and he's always on the go

Rockbird · 14/04/2010 09:55

This is such a non issue. May I present my first ever

runnybottom · 14/04/2010 10:44

What kind of strange kids don't snack, particularly on days out?

I'd love it if OP's friend had posted the alternative AIBU " I went to the park with my friend and the children, she had brought them no snacks at all, the poor little things were probably starving and eyeing up my kids lovely snacks. AIBU to think she's really mean an too uptight about food"?

bellissima · 14/04/2010 10:47

YANBU - though I had noticed that things definitely slide in this family during the school holidays, and particularly when we are 'on' holiday (and if it's raining and we head directly for the nearest tea shop) ..... and then I watched 'Spoilt Rotten ' last night and ARGH! The DDs have gone off to their 'art' course today (gosh culcha - and free time for me ) with grapes and a sandwich instead of crisps, bicci and sandwich....

Miggsie · 14/04/2010 10:51

I am also a mum who does not walk round with packs of raisins, biscuits, cheesy wotsits etc.

I do wonder at how children are allowed to have food almost constantly. Surely it is really building bad habits for the future, constant snacking is the big adult problem causing obesity isn't it?

Also, I noticed some mums use food as a way of shuitting their kids up, child starts whining...give them a biscuit or something. Surely this is teaching the child to whine?

claw3 · 14/04/2010 11:00

Day out = picnic. I dont see the problem.

Claire236 · 14/04/2010 11:23

claw3 - they weren't having a picnic. They were going to have dinner while they were out & all these snacks were as well as dinner unless I read the OP incorrectly.

ds1 (5) does snack mid morning & mid afternoon but on healthy things & at reasonably regular times. I wouldn't take loads of snacks out having already had lunch & planning on having dinner. I know a few mums who seem to be constantly giving their children food regardless of whether they might actually be hungry. Very odd. Explains why there are so many overweight kids about.

emsyj · 14/04/2010 11:25

DISCLAIMER: Not yet a mum (though will be soon )

I have a 2 year old godson who I see quite a lot and who comes to our house very regularly (both with his parents and for us to babysit). He eats raisins more or less constantly, and drinks about 3 cartons of fruit smoothie a day. To the best of my knowledge, he has never drunk or been offered plain water, which is odd to me as his mum never drinks anything else...
He was a brilliant eater all through his early months of weaning but now he won't eat a meal - basically, I think, because he's not hungry! He is being offered snacks and food all the time. It really irritates DH as whenever they come for dinner at our house he isn't interested in eating anything and instead runs around whilst his mother chases him with a fork of food trying to bribe him to eat it and making me and DH give him a round of applause for taking a mouthful. The result is usually a lot of wasted food (as he doesn't want his dinner, but his mother insists on him being served a full portion, and then she doesn't eat most of hers as she's too busy running round after him trying to bribe him to eat it....)

So.... whilst I know nothing, I say YANBU.

Would welcome suggestions on how to stop participating in the 'round of applause' for godson when he eats a mouthful... we don't plan to do any of this stuff with our child and don't much like the idea of having to keep this up for the next 10 years....

horridhobo · 14/04/2010 11:28

YANBU. It is not necessary for children to be constantly grazing on rubbish food. And all of you people triumphantly proclaiming that their dcs are incredibly skinny - watch out. My eldest ds was very skinny, and at the age of 10 had a growth spurt. He seemed to be constantly hungry and I let him eat A LOT in the evenings - I tried to insist on "healthy" snacks (plus a good dinner) but it was so difficult to hear him constantly asking for food - I felt mean and guilty always saying no - that I gave in sometimes (OK quite a lot) and allowed him to have crisps etc etc. Needless to say his metabolism changed as he got older and he started to put on weight. It was very hard for him to get the weight off - he hadn't learnt about healthy eating and not eating out of boredom/habit, and I hadn't learnt how to impose discipline about food/snacking. I accept that I was a crap mother about this but I honestly wouldn't want to other people and their kids going through this weight thing - it's nasty and difficult to deal with because it gets to the stage that you are trying to break eating habits that are very hard to break. Eating little and often is one thing - maybe eating meals that are quite high in carbs if your kids have a high metabolism/ are very active - but constant grazing on junk food is not good for anyone.

MarshaBrady · 14/04/2010 11:29

My friends always bring loads of nuts, dried fruit and unidentifiable health food shop stuff.

I am forgetful and don't take anything (although have had to acquire the habit of taking an apple to school walk home).

Ds eats their stuff. I really must try and remember to take something. But I just don't automatically think outside=food to snack on.

toccatanfudge · 14/04/2010 11:29

who said anything about grazing on junk food?? DS2 has just had an apple and a banana.

claw3 · 14/04/2010 11:33

Claire, they were not going to have dinner while they were out. Dinner later that evening when they got home. Thats how i read it anyhow!

So im assuming spending the day in the park the OP's children had lunch before they went, perhaps her friends children didnt.

OP stated friends children are skinny, not overweight, so obviously not a regular occurrence.

When ds's were younger would always spend the day in the park, with a picnic. They would never sit down and eat the whole picnic, too busy playing. They would just graze inbetween playing. I thought this was pretty normal

horridhobo · 14/04/2010 11:34

Did you read the original post toccatanfudge??? Of course there is nothing wrong with eating fruit between meals - the op was talking about choc bars crispe etc (as well as fruit).

bruffin · 14/04/2010 11:40

If a baby was going through a growth spurt - the answer on mn would be to feed him more and often so why is it different when they are older.
My DCs have grown 4 or 5 inches in a year, they don't do it on air!

minxofmancunia · 14/04/2010 11:55

YABU, get off your high horse.

I was a tiny skinny grazer as a child, and I ate LOADS and was still very underweight. Same through teenage years. It's just the way some children are.

We have dinner later too, between 6 and 7 so dd needs a few snacks in between. I don't understand this obsession with 3 meals a day tbh, as long as they're healthy and getting the calories they need what's the problem. If like me you have wildly fluctuation blood sugar levels that can literally send you loopy snacks are the way forward.

claw3 · 14/04/2010 11:57

Finding this thread rather bizarre to be honest!

You have spent the day with friends and their children in the park. You then complain about your friends and their children and their parenting and eating habits based on an afternoon.

I find your behaviour more obsessive than your friends or their children!

skihorse · 14/04/2010 12:17

YANBU - but boy have you hit some raw nerves here!

abouttoleave I am appalled that anyone would take "snacks" out for a 1 hour service - pray tell, are these also the eejits clutching bottles of water lest they expire under God's roof?

Rockbird · 14/04/2010 12:49

abouttoleave - I would imagine that is purely to shut them up during the service lest some old cow have a go at them (bitter experience). I bring DD's bottle of milk because it keeps her quiet (she's only 2)

OtterInaSkoda · 14/04/2010 13:12

YANBU, and I totally agree with savoy in that it's OK to be hungry sometimes.

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