To not believe DP - about ANYTHING

[QueenofOlympia]

DP has constantly lied to me since we got together. He's lied about his ex, his health and especially his finances.

He told me numerous lies about one debt in particular, over and over again "I SWEAR i'm telling the truth" - lie
"I swear - this time I'm telling the truth" - lie

"Ok. This time, I mean it - I swear to you, I'm telling the truth" - lie

The basics of it are he's supposed to be paying £25 a week on this debt now (after all the lies were exposed). I believed that he'd been paying it.
Then this morning we got a letter saying he's still in areas and it included a long list of recent payments ranging from £3 to £12.50. Not once as he paid £25 apart from one day he made two payments of £12.50. But most of the paymenst have been for £7.50 and they've been few and far between.

He doesn't know we have this letter yet. I'm torn between AGAIN giving him the benefit of the doubt and assume the credit company have printed it wrong (mug, I know) and just facing up to the fact that the bloke is a compulsive liar. I know when I confront him, he'll twist it, make himself sound very reasonable and I'll end up questioning my own behaviour. God its driving me feking INSANE.

OMG seriously, I think you may be with my fu*kwit of an ex - partner. You know when you're embarrassed you put up with someone's behavious for so long...? Somehow, even though he was earning more than me, he got me paying his half of the mortgage and food bills. He was servicing over £30,000 worth of credit card debt alone, bought everything on HP (including the iron. Oh yeah) and then blew every penny he earnt on 'going out with the lads'. How much happier was I when I left him? The worry you put yourself under on someone like that's belhalf is unreal. All of that was about 4 years ago now and now I have the best DH in the world and we're expecting our first baby together.
If you're not leaving him to save face; don't. I only didn't leave because I was really quite young at the time and I'd basically done it to get out of living at home with my parents. I used to pretend like it was all good and we were really happy, but I was cutting off my nose to spite my face. Everyone wants you to be happy, and no one will think you're a failure if you get up and leave for this man's unstable and unreasonable bahaviour. Just GO!

I can sympathise; my DH took out a £4k loan to give to his sister, and didn't tell me. I only found out when I was filing away some of his old bank statments.

I went back to my parents' for about a week after I found out; he's not done anything similar since, but if he did I'd have to think long and hard about whether I could trust him.

It sucks. I hope you work it all out.

Queen genuine question, but why are you staying with him?

Given that you can't trust him, (I haven't read your other threads) it seems he makes you very unhappy and a long term future with some one so crap with money and who thinks that it's an acceptable form of behaviour to lie to his partners face cannot be a good idea. Sorry if that sounds harsh but what about your DC's (if you have any) do you want them to grow up thinking this is normal?

Get rid. He sounds like a prick.