Backstory - five to nine this morning, barely out of bed with DD, just heading for the shower, the doorbell goes.
I'm expecting a parcel so I drop everything except my towel and open the door.
Burly Irish guy stands there surrounded by other workmen, says 'we're ready to begin work, love'
I go ??
'Oh, your husband agreed it all, we're here to re-lay your drive, you'll need to be moving that car'
I tell them not to do a thing until I've spoken to DH, call him and, yes, while I was working late last week he agreed to these guys re-laying and sealing our block paving - which, to be fair, needs doing - but 'oh, they weren't supposed to start til Wednesday, I meant to tell you...'
I go put some clothes on, open the door again, say re. Wednesday, they say, well, we had a job cancel on us, we can do it today - I confer with DH, we say fine. I tell them I'll be going out to Morrison's once DD and I are sorted, give me half an hour. He says fine, I shut the door.
En route to the shower, doorbell goes again.
Irish bloke and other English-speakers have disappeared. I have what appear to be 2 Eastern European pensioners in my front garden with shovels.
'Lady, you move this car'
"No, I told your boss, I will move it in half an hour."
(speaking to me like I'm a bit simple) 'Lady, you. move. this. car. we. work.'
Am fed up of standing in towel on doorstep so say 'No. Later.' and shut the door.
20 mins later we are sorted and out we go to the shops. Having calmed down (soporific effect of Morrisons), I decide to offer them a cup of tea when I return.
Nowhere to park on return, end up down the road, have 4 big bags of shopping and DD to manage, stagger up the road and onto the half-demolished drive.
'Lady, you make coffee'
Seriously, I haven't even got to the doorstep, I'm laden down, wtf???
'Fine, once I'm inside.' I growl.
'two sugars in both'
Fulminating darkly about manners but giving them benefit of doubt for lack of spoken English skills, I get in and unpack, make them their coffee (resisting temptation to add rat poison) and take it outside. DD follows me as she's nosy like that.
They are sitting in the sandy bit beneath the paving bricks, sticking shovels in it.
'Lady, you here when this done?'
Me: ??
Him (with air of longsufferingness): When this drive done before, you here?
Me: No, it was here when we moved in.
He shakes his head and sucks his teeth. Bearing in mind DD is dancing around me, he goes 'This shit work. Shit. No hardcore.'
I ask him to mind his language, he looks at me like I'm insane, I go to go back inside, he calls me back.
'Lady, you got charger?' and shoves his bloody phone under my nose.
As a matter of fact I do, but I just say 'no' and go back inside.
Now is it me, or are they fecking cheeky bastards??