to feel more than a bit sad

[jendaisy]

I am almost 25 weeks pg with dd2 (dd1 has different dad). My DP is a romany gypsy and I am not. His family have never met me (they live abroad) but they all hate me, and his supposedly Catholic mother just asks if I have had an abortion yet whenever DP speaks to her. He doesn't speak to his dad.

As for my parents, they are quite well off and horrified that they are going to have a gypsy grandchild. I haven't even spoken to my dad yet but my mum tells me that he said that he fucking hates gypsies and doesn't want a pikey grandchild.

In a nutshell, none of this baby's grandparents want to know her. That makes me feel very sad as she is just a baby and has done nothing wrong. And nor have me or DP. Not looking forward to explaining to her when she gets older that her grandparents are all bigots.

How sad for you all, I presume your dp is no longer travelling and you are settled, does that not appease your parents? let the dust settle and once your family can see you are happy and settled they may well thaw once you have the baby, who can resist a cute little baby. as for your dp family, I would just let them get on with it, they don't sound like they would be a good influence in your lives, and it is very biggoted of them to mention abortions if they are such good catholics. Make you dp and 2 dc your priority, sad as it may be no one else really matters. good luck

My greatgrandparents were romany gypsy. I glare at anyone who is racist because they are quite happy to accept me, its just they dont know about the heritage until I tell them. YANBU at all.

This is very sad. The grandparents are all being absolute wankers. Unfortunately You've got a clash of two cultures, the worst exponents of which are both woman-hating, rigid, sexually disfunctional bigots who get disgustingly hung up on policing people's relationships. There is a moderate chance that, when your baby arrives, one or both sets of grandparents will want to make friends and have everything be all lovely again - I would strongly suggest that while it's good to bulid bridges you do so on your terms and don't accept any bullying or rude behaviour in the interests of keeping the peace.