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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD take more money on the school trip than the school have allowed?

68 replies

welliebootsgalore · 10/04/2010 14:39

DD is going away for a week in May with her class. They are a smallish class so they are quite a tight group and I know most of the other parents very well. Was chatting to some of my friends at a birthday party yesterday and they have all said they are letting their DCs take £30/40 rather than the allowed £15.

From what I can gather, all of the parents I have spoken to are letting their DCs take a larger amount. AIBU to let her take £40 too? I don't mind giving her more but I feel like it?s going behind the school?s back a bit. And I don?t want to upset those children who aren?t bringing more money. ( Not sure if there will be any but not sure).
I can?t go and say anything at the school as I feel like I would be betraying the other parents. I spoke to one of my friend's about my worries this morning and she just said that because we are paying for them to go to the school that we should let them take whatever money they want.

AIBU to let DD take more money? Sorry for sounding like a real ?goody two shoes? but I just don?t want to upset anyone by doing the wrong thing!

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 10/04/2010 16:11

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maryz · 10/04/2010 16:13

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FabIsJustSoBusy · 10/04/2010 16:14

I would stick to what they school has said and not be influenced by anyone else.

My 9 year old is going on a weekend trip soon and isn't allowed to take any money. he just won't need it.

PixieOnaLeaf · 10/04/2010 16:15

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Original poster
welliebootsgalore · 10/04/2010 16:18

PixieOnaLeaf - I am guessing so yes, can;t imagine there would be much more than a few little magnets/pencils/notebooks etc with the logo on at the museum.

This is her first trip away with the school for more than a day so am not really sure what to expect!! part of me is being very PFB and doesn't want her to go at all!

OP posts:
bellavita · 10/04/2010 16:40

Send her with the £15. Schools run these trips all the time - they know how much is needed.

lockets · 10/04/2010 16:53

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mamazon · 10/04/2010 16:58

the school ask you to send in a maximum amount so that A) they don't have to spend all week listening to children desperate to get to shops. B) they dont have children refusing to eat their meals as they have bought lots of sweets and junk C) so that they dont have to contend with buckets full of crap on the journey home D) so that there is no issue of stolen/lost items of value and most importantly E) so that if there are children whose parents can only afford the maximum amount, those children do not get made to feel left out or deprived by the show off parents who can't read a letter.

Im sorry but if it is asked that you only send a certain amount why do parents feel the need to play this keeping up with teh jones's and "i am richer than you so can afford to give more"

It is pathetic and ill advised.

but no doubt you will send in the extra anyway for fear of your poor little darling only being able to afford 5 shitty pencils instead of the 10 that tarquin has bought

mamazon · 10/04/2010 17:02

sorry. That was overly harsh and i apologise.

but it is an issue that really gets my goat, as you may have realised.

why do parents feel the need to know better than a school that has done it a thousand times.

but anyway, please accept what i said but without the rather aggressive tone.

RedRedWine1980 · 10/04/2010 17:05

No way would I let my child take more than £15 as you can guarantee the only place they will have a chance to spend it will be a crappy tuck shop/rubbish tacky souvenir shop- it will be £40 spent on utter shite.
Dont do it!

notnowbernard · 10/04/2010 17:05

YABU

gramercy · 10/04/2010 17:12

YABU

Ds went on a week-long school trip last year (Year 6). It was lovely and wholesome, with activities, walks, playing on beach etc. They were told they could bring £20 maximum to spend on souvenirs, ice cream etc. No-one was allowed to bring any snacks or sweets with them. In fact ds brought home £10!

I thought it was a breath of fresh air. I think mamazon says it very well - if some children have brought lots of money they'll want to find ways to spend it instead of getting on with what they're supposed to be doing on a school trip.

bruffin · 10/04/2010 17:19

My DD 12 came back from a week away girls club trip yesterday. We were told £25 to £30 as they were going on long train journey there and back as well as a day at Ironbridge and a day shopping.
Forget to get her cash and manage to scrape together £22.50. She came back with nearly £10, so £40 for 9 yr olds seems a bit ridiculous.

jellybeans · 10/04/2010 17:21

YABVU stick to the limit

ScaredOne · 10/04/2010 17:24

Librashavinganotherbiscuit: (puh, I hope I got that right. If not I am sorry)

Sometimes I did sometimes I didn't. I remember coming home from one school trip having spend exactly 20p, for two postcards. My mum had given me stamps to take anyway so I just had to buy the cards. I was really proud to have spent so little.

Other times, being in summer camps and so on I did, because I hated the food. Some camps/hostels food is gross (or were when I was a kid) and sometimes packed lunches were so small I wanted to buy something else. So yeah, sometimes I did.
BUt I always left it in my socks till the need arose.

Not much relevance but a funny story, she did the same for my sister (i.e. socks with money) and when my sisters suitcase fell open somewhere by accident all the girls were really shocked because her bras and panties were on view (she must have been 14, so that was like the end of the world for them ). My sister did not care though but ran around trying to collect and count all her pairs of socks and no one knew what's wrong with her

CheekyVimtoGal · 10/04/2010 17:26

i would say stick to the allowed amount of £15.

clam · 10/04/2010 17:26

Just what message are the parents at this school giving their children?
School issues a rule but we know better and can ignore it.
We can afford more, so let's prove it.
We're paying for our child's education, so that means we can be arsey about stuff if we feel like it, coz we're better than the teachers.
You can spend as much as you like in the souvenir shop on crap, darling. There's plenty more where that came from.
Oh, and if everyone else is doing it, then it's a must. God forbid that you should be left out.

We have a £10 limit on our school journey, which is doled out £2 per day. We still once had a child who had a secret stash of ...wait for it... £120 in her purse! The PGL centre noticed in the shop and told us. We took it off her and asked for her mother to come to the school office to collect it the following week. Cue: red-faced mother!. But only slightly.

ScaredOne · 10/04/2010 17:27

Oh forgot to say: I would do the same for my kids, give them spare cash. I don't think children who are genuinely hungry because they didn't like/didn't have enough food or something should go hungry because they have send the 3 pounds that day on ice cream already (we were handed the exact daily amount every day and had to return the rest, so no saving one day for the next). You never know when you need spare cash.
And be it so you can afford a cab or a phone call when being lost without being scared to not have money after that anymore

RubysReturn · 10/04/2010 17:29

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PixieOnaLeaf · 10/04/2010 17:32

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junglist1 · 10/04/2010 17:32

This is why children end up spoilt and begging for more more more. Because their parents play stupid games like this. Soon the world won't be enough

blowbroth · 10/04/2010 17:34

Rules are rules. Why do some parents not follow the rules? At my dd school , when there are cake sales etc for charity the Head suggests sending each child in with 20p. ,enough for 1 cake. Why then do some parents send their dc in with more money, 1 kid had £5! My dd is going on a trip in May too and she'll only get what the school says. I totally agree with mamazon and I like her attitude!

lockets · 10/04/2010 17:39

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PixieOnaLeaf · 10/04/2010 17:40

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janeite · 10/04/2010 17:44

A child who is genuinely hungry will eat SOMETHING that is provided on the trip. When we take pupils on residentials they always begin by thinking they will not like the food and end by eating everything - if there's no junk food etc available, they will ultimately eat 'proper food' so giving them money to 'bail themselves out' with junk food is a bad example imho.

OP - yabu - but I guess you know that by now!