not to want to involve our neighbour and her two boys every time I take my children somewhere?

[onthepier]

My neighbour has two dc's similar ages to our two and for most of the hols so far they've all been playing in and out of each other's gardens and sometimes houses. The majority of the requests though, "Can you help us with this/Can you find us that" etc seem to fall on me and today I just fancied taking my two out and having a bit of a break myself, so I got us all sorted early and told my two we were going to a nearby playcentre that's just opened up, thinking they'd get some playtime, I could spend time just with them and of course I had some magazines and coffee money for some "me-time"!

Anyway, was just hanging out the washing this morning when my ds called out, asking when we were going to the playcentre. As I replied "In a minute", my neighbour appeared in her garden and said, "Playcentre? Oh that new one, I was thinking of taking my two this holiday. I'm surprised you didn't mention it yesterday, let's all go together!"

Anyway we all met up there and it was ok, but far more bickering went on than if I'd just taken my two! There's a lovely country park nearby that we've planned to go to tomorrow with dh who has the day off, but I think we'll have to go quite early before next door get wind of what we're doing! Does anybody else find this or am I a bit unsociable? Felt a bit guilty this morning, (had deliberately not told them our plans!) but that's a silly way to feel, it's our school holidays as well!

Oh just don't tell your kids where you are taking them so they can't tell anyone.

I'd feel a bit stalked. I know a few mums like that who although they don't live near want to meet up every day - yikes - when am I supposed to get my stuff done if I'm in company all the time.

Or, if you want to send a message just tell them you are going some place - hide out in your home and watch them drive off to it. But that's a bit cruel and I don't think I could do it tbh.

I think that all you can do is not tell your kids what you have planned. When they are in the car then say you have a surprise and you are taking them to x. If your neighbour says anything you can say it was a last minute, spur of the moment decision to go out. it's a shame you have to lie but this is a danger of getting too pally with neighbours. There is nothing wrong with saying you want to do some family activities as the dc will be going back to school soon.

Thanks for your posts, had a text from neighbour early this morning asking what our plans were, texted back saying dh was off and we'd be going out somewhere. Have just seen their car drive off so we'll leave now for the country park!

I do like my neighbour, we somtimes meet up for coffee when kids are all at school and although they all play well together, her two bicker constantly on trips out and several times it's ruined what could have been a lovely day! Haven't actually said this to my friend though, I suppose I should really so I don't have to make excuses.

Theres a really useful word for these situations...its called NO!