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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wedding abroad with baby

6 replies

katerey · 07/04/2010 15:22

My brother has invited us to his wedding in the USA. No children are invited. We have two girls (5 and 3) and are expecting our third in four weeks - she will be 4 months old (and hopefully breast-feeding still) by the time of the wedding. I have said we're not going, but he doesn't understand why it's not practical for us. AIBU? Or is he?

OP posts:
WitchyWooWoo · 07/04/2010 15:27

i think he is being a wee bit u

you're his sister, and of course he wants you there.. its just unfortunate with the timing thats all.

that being said, if no children are allowed he cant assume you'll jet over to the states 4 months after dd3 is born without her (and indeed any of your dds), thats far too soon, esp with bf,

Maybe you could send a video of the 5 of you wishing him all the best in his new married life and try and make a point of going to visit him when you all can.

sorry if i warbled

emsyj · 07/04/2010 15:28

YANBU. In my view, it is perfectly fine to exclude children from weddings IF you then accept that, as a result, some people will be unable to attend. Your brother is enormously unrealistic if he thinks that having his wedding in the USA and not inviting children will make it easy and enjoyable for all his nearest and dearest to be there!

saslou · 07/04/2010 15:29

He is BU. What does he propose that you do with your DC. Other people always assume that their weddings are at the centre of everyones focus and while they have a right to the wedding they want, you also have a right not to attend if you don't wish to leave your children with someone else. If your bro has no dc then he may well have no understanding of how it feels to be a parent or why you would be so reluctant to travel to a wedding without them esp if all the people you would usually rely on to babysit are also at the wedding. Try to explain but in the end do what is right for you, just as he will do what is right for him and his bride

unfitmother · 07/04/2010 15:29

Spell it out in words of one syllable.

Baby needs norks, norks attached to me!

DuelingFanjo · 07/04/2010 15:31

YANBU! Is he an idiot! Was he expecting you to travel with the kids and then not bring them to the wedding or to leave the kids behind and travel alone.

Presumably he has no kids. When he does you should remind him of this incident

Original poster
katerey · 07/04/2010 15:46

lol unfitmother thankyou! that really cheered me up. am not enjoying the guilt-trip, especially while dealing with spd, no sleep and all the other joy that comes with the end of pregnancy.
naturally they have no kids but am keeping his ranting email for when they do and can't even leave the house without a week's planning and a nanny.
they offered childcare at the hotel, but will still cost several grand (while on mat leave)to drag kids across the globe then explain to them why they can't go to the wedding. and its in school time, natch.
kind in-laws would help with bigger girls, but its a big ask - take annual leave, travel for hours, live in our house, do school run etc. and there is still the matter of my norks...

thankyou girls, it is nice to know i am not being hormonally crazy. they'll have to get over it and in a couple of years they will understand.

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