to expect dh to arrange something on my birthday?

[deaddei]

I have a HUGE birthday soon.
I have a couple of things arranged with girlfriends.
I asked dh today if he'd thought of anything we could do (my bday is at the weekend)- he said no.
Now he isn't one for surprise parties, so I know he won't be arranging anything like that. And I'm not expecting a weekend away or anything really expensive- but it would be nice for him to say "I'm taking you to ...restaurant" rather than me booking it.
He will probably be playing in the monthly medal at the golf club

My DP would not do this either. It isn't because he doesn't care but he has no imagination. I have realised that I am better off organising things I want to do than waiting for him to do it and resenting him not doing it. I also pick my own presents as he can never think of anything to get me (or gets me something I don't like). Book your favourite resturant and get him to pay.

Yes I always buy my own presents and get the money back...

If he has never done this kind of thing before he isn't going to start now. You need to tell him that you would like to go out for a meal and that he can surprise you with the details.

What Humphrey said. Men can't read minds. If you've never asked for big birthday things in the past, he will not know now. Tell him you want it to be special, you'd prefer dinner somewhere and that you will look forward to whatever he organises. Don't be coy or subtle but clear and calm.

I think that you need to discuss it in advance, if you want to enjoy it. Some men are just fairly hopeless at getting it right-and they don't suddenly change.

The world divides equally into imaginative present givers and those who aren't. In fairness, there's also a divide between people who make a big thing out of their birthdays and those who don't - even HUGE birthdays.

I'd just tell your DH what you'd like from your birthday and ask him to book a restaurant, say. He's not going to change the habits of a lifetime.