to not want my MIL to post pictures of me and my baby online?

[SayHitIsntSo]

I am furious.
there's this website (GENY, if anyone has heard of it) where you can build your family tree, post information about family members etc.

DH's cousin started theirs. He's been on it like a mad man- scanning birth certificates, pictures etc. of all their dead relatives. He entered MIL as well (seeing that she's his aunt), and she has entered my name, DH's name, DS's name, dates of birth etc.

I got a notification of said updates via the website alone. she never uttered a word of it to any of us (but the website tells you who did the updates, of course).

Lo and behold, last night I recieve an email from the website, happily announcing that MIL has updated all our profiles with pictures of us (pictures from our wedding day, picture of DS when he was younger, and she started an album for all our wedding pictures but haven't uploaded any as of yet).

have ranted about this to a friend of ours and he said - what do I care, it's only a picture. But it has my name on it (full name!!), and worst- DS's name, details and picture. that lunatic (MIL) has even entered her EX-H's current family- names, pics, and everything (needless to say without asking permission, and even more needless to say FIL hates her guts ever since their divorce and would be very cross once he found out about it!!!)

SO
AM I BEING UNREASONABLE to not want this to happen without my permission/consent?
Am I being unreasonable to be so angry with her for doing that??

who can access it?

Yanbu.

But don't be furious - the older generation are probably not as internet-savvy as we are. Just ask her to take them down and have a word with her about the perils of posting rl details on t'web.

I don't see the problem. Your name and photo and your DS's name and photo? So what? Is it visible to the general public? Even if it is I don't really see the issue.

Sounds like a great resource for anyone up for a bit of identity theft. Full name, date of birth AND mother's maiden name? Sorted!

Seriously, I'd be asking her to take your info off...

I don't see the problem to be honest.

I can't see it being the most popular site on the internet...I imagine people looking at it will know you all already, no strangers will be interested.

Maybe I'm missing something though?

You should definitely only put living people on these sites with their explicit permission. My family tree site automatically removes all names from births within the last 100 years unless a death date is given. I would ask her nicely to remove them.

Identity theft for a start.

Plus a violation of privacy. Now, admittedly I am a bit of an extreme example, as I am not even on Facebook for this reason, but I just don;t like having named pictures of me (let alone DD) on the web. I feel your pain. Just ask her to remove them.

If the website is accessible only to people on the family tree then I don't think there is anything to worry about.
It would have been nice of her to ask you, but in my experience it is something you will probably need to get used to (just wait until she cuts your DC's hair without asking as mine did...)

I always suspect that there is a power dynamic in these situations - do you really care that your wedding photos are on some obscure site, or is your main concern that she didn't involve you in the decision?

YANBU

Identity theft as others have said. Terribly dangerous, and no site is that secure, even if it is only visible to the family.

I'd be furious.

Even if the site is only visable to 'family' it is still a concern. Some of my distant family are as dodgy as they come and have no loyalty to me (why would they?). Why would I want them in a position to steal my identity and commit fraud? It would have the same devestating results as a stranger doing it.

I would recommend never putting full personnal details on the Internet.

Of course I'm biased, I don't do Facebook and all my friends and family know DD's pictures do not go on there, ever.

First name and picture is one thing - full names and dates of birth are something else entirely!! YANBU.

YANBU! Definitely a good site for identity theives!

My Mum put some pics of DS in the BATH up on Facebook - I could have killed her but luckily I saw them straightaway and she removed them.

I wouldn't like it at all. Identity theft etc. She should have really asked

thnx everybody- Identity theft is my main concern!! and anybody who has an email can access this website and look for his "long lost relatives"- that's what the site is for!

Have told DH to tell her to remove them (seeing that I have no control of that! that's another thing- even if there ARE pics of me and DS there- I can't "untag" them or remove them- only the person who uploaded them in the first place can!) and if I had to do that conversation I would probably go ballistic on her

thnx again.

She probably doesn't realise but get dh to tell her and make sure that she removes them, if she doesn't do it just get him to go on her pc and take them off himself? she probs saves the password in the browser.. i dont think that is wrong if you asked her and she doesnt do it