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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit annoyed at my friend...

3 replies

springishere · 07/04/2010 09:46

I'm becoming more annoyed at my friend and not sure if im being over sensitive here! She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and we were really close friends, since then I have had 2 children and she has been single so our lives have kind of been on different tracks with her still going out heaps etc, anyway she has now met someone and is getting married, which is great. They have decided to get married in OZ in december which is obviously peak time to travel but I have said that of course we will all go. DH and I were looking at tickets and to get us all there is going to cost an absolute fortune, probably too much for us to afford, I haven't told her this yet. Anyway I was talking to her last week and she just casually said that she was going dress shopping this week with three friend, two who she works with and one who is currently living with her - I was really put out, think she realised slightly as she then said why don't you come too, I said I would love to. She hasn't mentioned it again since and it is now tomorrow night, I just emailed her and asked her if she was still going and she said she was but no mention of are you coming or where shall we meet or anything like that. so I am feeling a bit put out by the whole thing, AIBU do you think? Just feel she was a big part of my wedding, I am agreeing to pay a fortune and fly my family to the other side of the world for her wedding and she hasn't even asked me to go dress shopping with her!!! am i being petty do you think?

OP posts:
saslou · 07/04/2010 10:09

I can see why you would be hurt by this. I would only go to this wedding if I could afford it and I would treat it as a holiday for my family with her wedding being only a small part of the trip and not the whole focus. It is a sad fact that not all friendships last forever. It doesn't mean that they were any less real at the time, but peoples live change and so they tend to be closer to those they have the most in common with. Sorry that you are upset - I would be too

MrsC2010 · 07/04/2010 10:52

I can see why you're hurt, especially as she is being quite obvious about it. I didn't take anyone dress shopping though, didn't think about it so I could understand her not asking in the first place, it sounds like she sees these three all the time so it just kind of 'fell' together, if you see what I mean?

salbysea · 07/04/2010 10:58

ummm I do understand why you're upset, but also think you are being a little unreasonable in that weddings are not tit for tat, I think the fact that she was involved in your wedding is no reason why she should have you more involved in hers (would you really want to be invited dress shopping just out of obligation anyway??). Friendships change and if you are not to her now, what she was to you then, she should not feel bound IYKWIM

sounds to me like she has asked the logical (and right) people - the girls that have gushed over bridal mags with her. How often have you asked her about what kind of dress she was thinking of? or shoes? or hairstyles? or emailed her links to dresses you saw that you think would suit her?

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