to not let my DD change her name?

[maduggar]

I have 2 DDs from a previous relationship, and I am getting married to my DP soon (we have a DS together). My DD2 (age 7) has expressed a desire to change her surname to that of my DP, Ds & myself when we get married.

I split from my exH when DD2 was born, so she has never lived with him. DD1 has a strong loyalty to her Dad though, and would never change her surname. For the first few years, their dad was a big part of their life, but he moved away 2 years ago and now only see him 1/2 a year, with a quick fortnightly phonecall. He totally missed their birthday last year (no card, no phonecall) and I think that was the final nail in the coffin for DD2.

Would I be unreasonable to say no to DD2 changing her surname? Reasons for saying no would be

a. she may regret it one day, as she is only 7 and im not sure thats old enough to make this decision.

b. it would deeply upset her Dad & his family

c. Im worried that it may affect the bond with her sister, and make DD1 feel like an outsider with a different surname to the rest of us.

d. the hassle of changing her name on everything, only for her to want to change back in a few months time!

so, AIBU?

"it certainly isn't OP's name"

so when a woman gets married and takes her husband's name it remains his name and doesn't become her name?

are you kidding?

slarty - my Dds have the same birthday (not twins) and he is well aware of the date - he avoided phoning them for ages, as he knew he had messed up. I cant make im any more intersetd in his kids sadly

My mum didn't change her name when she remarried, even though we were a heck of a lot older than your DD is.

I felt, even as an adult, that had she changed her name over to her DH name, we as her daughters would have been left twice, once by our dad and the second time by our mum.

maduggar, your daughter is feeling left out, insecure and needs you. Somehow this marriage of yours is unsettling her. I'd advise you all to double barrel or you to stick to the name you have, for the sake of your children.