to tell DP to pay for this himself

[CUNextTuesday]

Quick story - we are having a new bathroom. It has involved knocking down an interior wall to absorb some cupboard space into the new bathroom. As well as that everything has been ripped back to bare shell and all the plumbing has needed reworking, some of it quite complex.

DP has a mate. He is fond of the weed, and has had a chaotic life generally, but has trained as a plumber and general factotum in the past so DP decides to offer him the work as a way of getting him a steady income and a purpose. So far so laudable.

Well, DP did all of the demolition with his son, removed most of the tiles, has done all of the plumbing and basically has come home every night from his manual job to do 3 or so hours in the bathroom. In the meantime, DP's feckless chum, and his mate, have turned up max 2.5 days per week for the last 3 weeks (they never ring to say they are not coming, just don't show). For this they have taken £400 between them each week in return for drilling some holes, putting up a stud partition and rendering the walls. Apart from that very little has been achieved that hasn't been done by DP.

Now I appreciate that Weedy is doing this for mate's rates, but AIBU to expect him to turn up for work every day? When he does turn up it is lunchtime and they leave around 5ish. We have been saving up for this new bathroom and I wanted it done toot sweet as I am 6 months pregnant and I need a bath.

The last straw has come today. Once again Weedy wasn't going to ring to say he wasn't coming - he's apparently hurt his back - and when DP phoned to tell me this (he spoke to him about coming over to move some pasterboard from the side of the house that I can't lift) I went apeshit and told him that if he wants this idiot to carry on doing the bathroom he has to pay for it himself. I have no qualms about paying someone else more reliable to come in and do it at all. We have the money saved I just object to shelling out for this loser. It would have been finished by now if we had. DP wants to give him one more chance.

Who is right?

yanbu

I wouldn't even be giving the option. Get on the phone now to a reputable tradesman who deserves your money. If DP's mate is that doped up he won't even notice.

YANBU at all but perhaps give Weedy the chance without paying first? If he can't prove himself then he doesn't get paid. If he doesn't like it, he can say so and you can get someone else in?

Get someone else in - be cheaper in the long run.

Yanbu

YANBU. Simply tell him that as he has hurt his back he can't possibly complete the work therefore you are employing someone else.

I'm so tempted - it's not like DP doesn't know anyone else who could do it - he's a good egg to loads of people and they have been falling over themselves to offer to help as a return-of-favour. He's known this chap since school - they were bezzie mates - and it's like he can't bring himself to tell the guy to do one. Normally DP is very assertive and if this had been anyone else monkeying him around they would have been given short shrift.

So I can see his dilemma, but surely this is taking the piss?

So you have shelled out £1200 so far ? Words fail me, I would be asking DP not only to sack off his mate but for some of the money back (though realise you wont get it

exactly raver. Had we shelled that out on someone competent and relaiable we would have had the job finished by now, tiling, plumbing, installation the lot.

Missed that bit - goodness me! My builder did my bathroom in about 5 full days (had to knock down a cupboard that was in a bedroom and build up the wall), fit spotlights, wall taps, light up mirror, tiled in bath with funny tile surround - all awkward bits and bobs so roughly cost... 650 in labour. May have been more days (having whole house done so hard to track) but definatly not 10 which would have been nearer your figure. For £1200, unless there is really major work, I'd expect the bathroom to be done, and done well. My builder totally changed all the plumbing, moved the soil pipe and air pipe, taps were moved from end of bath to the side on the wall - it wasn't a quick job. I am angry for you Get your money back and get some quotes done, you'll be suprised I bet by how much it should cost to just get it done.

I can see your partner's problem, but generally if you've done your back, it's not a one-day problem - depending on what he's done to it you'd be looking at a few weeks to a few months of restricted duties, otherwise you risk aggravating it.

So your partner really, if he cares about his friend, and also because he's in an employer role and has OH&S responsibilities, needs to tell his mate:

He needs to go see a GP about his back and get a medical certificate saying what he can and can't do, safely.
Given that you are heavily pregnant, you can't really wait for him to recover, so will be hiring someone else and will keep him in mind next time.

If he can't get a Dr certificate, he's admitting that he's taking the piss. If he can, you've got an excuse to bin him without putting your DP in a bad position.

I am a genius, yes?

You are indeed a genius tortoise, although I think you may have put the client/contractor relationship on a level of formality it does not warrant. However, I like your way of thinking, and since I am an H&S bod in RL, perhaps I should put my hard hat on and come over all little hitler pink and fluffy for the sake of his future health...

Update: it would seem he came to shift the plasterboard from the side of the garage into the garage and then proceeded to foxtrot oscar straight afterwards (i've been out to lunch). I have texted DP and I may have used some industrial language.

Thanks for agreeing with me girls. I started thinking maybe since we weren't paying full whack I was being very U to suggest a fair week's work. However I now see that I am resoundingly R to be feeling so peeved. A good job well done.

Oh, I realise there's no actual formal contract between them, CU. It was just a good way to give your partner an excuse to tell his mate to ship up.

And while I don't know the intricacies of employment law in England, I do know that over in Australia, your husband would be deemed to be the employer of his mate, and be responsible for all the OH&S/workers compo etc obligations if there was an injury.

He is takin the piss. I first thought you were talking £400 between them for the whole job- now I've read back, nah, they are ripping you off.