To want to punch my SIL

[DashingRedhead]

On Easter Sunday, I, DH and our two DC went to my parents for lunch, as did my bro and sil, plus their DD. DH made a beautiful cake for pudding (Nigella's chocolate pistachio). It was iced with chocolate ganache and decorated with crushed pistachios, looked lovely and tasted delicious. SIL, who has bad manners at any time, said that the cake looked like it was covered in bird droppings.

I find this objectionable on so many levels that I don't really know where to start. My main complaints though are: i) that it is just effing rude; ii) it is an extremely bad-taste remark to make at the table; and iii) my SIL is one of the laziest people I know and I don't think it is for her to criticise other peoples' work.

Please tell me I'm not over-reacting.

Sorry but YABU - it's only a cake. It's not WMD, orphans starving or dialysis machines failing. It's a fucking cake.

You want to punch her in the face because she didn't like the look of a cake . YABU.

Skihorse - do you only get upset by things such as you mention? Somebody being unnecessarily rude has never put you out even a little? You are clearly a being of such lofty dignity that nobody would dare to say such a thing to you anyway.

Floopy - not because she didn't like it because she was bloody rude about it. I've kind of reached saturation point with comments like this from her.

I'd have done the same as strawberrykate (if I'd had the nerve)! Passive aggresion rules!

dashingred You asked if you were being unreasonable. Did you just want people to say "no babes i bet ur cke ws lush!!!@22!!!"?

It is only a feckin' cake! What are you going to do when she loudly mentions the size of your arse at an otherwise silent gathering? Scalp her and paper the walls with her?

YABU to be so angry over something so trivial. Feel a bit sorry for her not knowing the circumstances, it is hard to be an in law. Best manners and behaviour are in order, of course, but tbh in my family we are always teasing and rude and that's not to say I would do it in my dh's house as I recognise it would not be appropriate but I really do feel for your SIL here, sitting eating with a family of people all festering at her and a SIL who despises her. Some people just speak first and think later- so what? Why be so defensive and uptight? It was a CAKE!!!!!!!

Did she actually have a piece of the cake?

Poor thing has probably already forgotten about the cake.

She would probably be amazed if she knew she was a topic of coversation on MN.

What did your SIL contribute to the meal? If nothing, maybe she was embarrassed that you had gone to such lengths and couldn't resist having a snipe.

She sounds like my SIL. We went round to my inlaws on Good Friday and took two bottles of Aussie Wine. She pulled her face at them and said 'I don't drink Aussie Wine' Why say anything? YANBU.

skihorse You are right, I did ask and you said what you thought. Sorry! Have been for a brisk walk with DS and decided that I am overreacting a bit but that she is also rude. I wouldn't let DD say that sort of thing, and I wouldn't say it myself.

Have to go - DS just brought up carrot and milk all over the armchair I use for feeding. Joys of starting solids - baby who won't sleep at night and who gets mush all over the place during the day...

ask her if she sees lots of cakes covered in bird droppings as you are unfamilar with it. Ignore it, she's stupid and winding you up.

Maybe a "My goodness, were you dragged up by monkies?" (startled voice) would be in order in these sorts of situations?
monkies? monkeys?

Stealth - the 'ies' replaces 'y' in the plural only if the 'y' was preceded by a consonant. Thus baby > babies. If the 'y' is preceded with a vowel, nothing changes so you just add the 's' in the usual manner. Thus key > keys and monkey > monkeys.

Thanks MrsS - will remember that it ends in 'key' - have never written kies!