To think my Bil and Sis should be a bit firmer with their DC?

[fifitot]

We have just come back from visiting Bil and Sil. They have 2 kids, 1 is 14 so we don't really see much of him when we visit, other 6. IMo they are quite indulgent parents and the kids are a bit 'spoiled' - to use a word I don't really like.

As is usual we take Easter eggs and a smallish present for the children and they reciprocate with ours. My DS is pretty easy going and is happy to get any present and also younger which is probably significant. My 6 year old nephew is a stroppy little so and so though- he just rips open the present, says ' have got this' then dumps it, looks once at the egg and says, I don't like 'Spiderman' and goes out of the room.

No thanks to us and in laws just smile indulgently. If it were my kids I would be really annoyed. Same thing happens at birthdays and Xmas - he is really ungrateful and they don't do anything about it. I thnk he pretty much gets everything he wants so if something isn't a real bobby dazzler of a present he is disappointed.

DH thinks it's just his age and I shouldn't be bothered but tbh to be faced with this every xmas, birthday and easter makes me not want to bother!

Any thoughts?

they sound a bit like BIL and his wife actually - one of my nephews (4yo) wanted a bedside cabinet brought downstairs so they brought it down into the livingroom for him just because he asked! Talk about 'rod for your own back'...

It isn't the age-it is the way he is being brought up. I think I would just take the egg/present back and say mildly that if he doesn't want it I would give it to someone else.

oh my gosh how rude! ungrateful little bugger!

i am also a real stickler for manners and my DS gets nothing unless he says please and thank you where necessary. he has been taught this since he could first talk so it is second nature to him.

unfortunately most of my friends with kids have not taught their DC this and as a result I have to grit my teeth when I offer them drinks / snacks when they come to my house, only to receive no please or thank you's and often just find they snatch the things offered without saying a word and the parents do not say a word!

oooh it is SUCH a bugbear of mine when kids have no manners!

so no YANBU x 1000000

I have taught my children to show good manners, and this little boy's poor manners are definitely a reflection of the parents. My children were able to at least say please and thank you from 3 yrs old. Although they may still require a little prompting, I've even heard the DCs saying please and thank you to each other when they don't realise I'm listening.

YANBU at all. My daughter's three and knows that if someone gives her a present (however small), she says 'thank you' even if she didn't especially want or need it. If she really likes it and is a bit over-excited, I occasionally have to prompt her but she would never say 'I don't like X'. And I don't think I'm at all strict. Six is plenty old enough to be practising the rudiments of good manners.

YANBU I would have been furious if either of my two had acted this way.

My friend still remembers a time that DD was five and wouldnt say thank you for a present she gave her, I made her sit there until she said thank you and then she got a bollocking for being so bloody rude!

She is 11 now and hasnt done it since!

YANBU. His parents should make him say thank you and should maybe stop showering him with anything he wants if it has made him so ungrateful.

Yanbu.

Ds is 3 and needs reminded to say thanks but always is and always will be if necessary!

I am glad most agree with me, I was beginning to think I was being harsh.

Triggles - yes there are times when my DS can show me up but I work hard at promoting good manners so hopefully he'll know he has to try and appreciate that people have made an effort for him as he gets older.

The trouble with my nephew is that this isn't the odd embarassing occurence. he is ALWAYS like this - anytime he is given a present or a biscuit or whatever, he is rude and ungrateful.

Trouble is he is indulged and does get absolutely anything he wants. We went to Spain with them last year for a week and honestly he was bought some kind of present/toy every single day. Watertoys/sweets/wetsuit - whatever. I don't know why the parents do this.

The older one isn't really a problem tbh. Too busy listening to the ipod!

My 6 year old would have a punishment if she acted that way. She knows full well, if she gets a gift she doesn't like / has already got, she says a polite thank you and leaves it at that.

My 3 year old on the other hand, can still be a bit too honest. But, If she were rude, I would demand an apology and make her say thank you in a polite manner.

They're never too old or young for basic manners imho.

My son has High Functioning Autism and has been known to scream and cry present does not tie in with his current obsession. He just does not understand the pretending to like and thanking for gifts thing. To be honest I don't think he ever will. It can be mortifying but most people who know him understand.

if a present does not tie in with his current obsession.

As a teacher, it's interesting seeing how some of the children react when you buy them small gifts. Often it's the ones who are nuisances in normal day-to-day activities who say 'thank you' where the 'nice' children mutter and moan about not wanting a particular colour, flavour, etc and forget to say thank you.

I have only once taken a gift back from a child who told me he didn't want the only colour that was left, so I took it back and told him that was fine. He never complained about another gift and always said thank you!

YANBU to expect the parents to have corrected yout nephew's bad manners.

It would BU to take the gift back because his response was not favourable/polite/grateful enough. Once you have handed it over, it is his.