AIBU to expect an rsvp text for a child's party?

[HostessOnTheEdge]

My dc2 is having a t-shirt tie-dying party in a little arty craft workshop near my house. The couple who run it want to know how many kits to buy, and how much food to provide (very reasonable) and I can't tell them because out of ten invites, only a couple have let me know either way.

I don't know what to do now. I have to pay for a minimum amount of kids so if children can't come, that's fine, but if I know in time I could invite a couple more. I don't want to end up paying for ten kids if only 6 come.

i have sent a text to a couple of the parents who are approachable. But I don't want to hound people.

Is it just U to expect an rsvp for what is merely a child's party.?

YANBU...but I've no idea why people don't reply.

Send out 2nd invitations?

This non replying drives me mad.

YANBU - just basic manners, surely?

No not at all unreasonable. perfectly normal to need a RSVP

I ended up paying for 3 non turners up at a soft play party thing for my ds in December. It is rude, even if they don't want to go, it is not hard to text to say "sorry little Johnnie can't make it". Gets my goat.

I am going to take the advice that I read on here once, send out the invites along the lines of Johnnie is having a party, please telephone for further details.

You're not unreasonable to want one. But unfortunately you can no longer expect people to reply.

Look, don't worry about hounding people. If you can contact them, then send a text 'hi, is X coming to miniHONE's party? Thanks, HONE'. Don't apologise, don't feel bad. It is their fault you are nagging them.

I am just about to do the same to the non-repliers to dd's party at the weekend. Amazingly, I have only 4 to chase up!

Fimbow that 'please phone for further details' is an excellent idea to try and reduce the numbers of non responders but I guess some people still just won't respond?

It amazes me that some people do this although I nearly did as I ahdn't seen the invitation (dh had stuck it in a pile of junk in the kitchen) and it was only the fact that ds1 kept going on and on about this party (I was saying 'you haven't had an invitaiton so I don't think you have been invited - you can't be asked to everyones party' and he was insistent so I texted the childs mum to ask!).

So there can be reasons why this happens but the extent of it means that there must be some people who are just too lazy.

If they don't respond then they are not included.

Oh and I certainl ywouldn't worry about hounding them. I would do whatever it took - text / call / wait at school gates etc. it is not YOU who are rude it may be / is them. If it is a mistake they will be mortified and if they are rude at least you will get an answer!

I would also put a 'RSVP by Xdate' on invite but this is too late to help you isn't it!

For the 3 that didn't turn up to my ds's party, I did send a very polite text but never got a response to that either!

'Pls can you confirm whether or not xxx will be coimg to xxx's party on xxx April, as I need to confirm numbers with the owners by tomo and would hate him/her to be disappointed. Sorry if I've inadvertantly lost your reply to the invitation!'

Well, I sent out 3 chaser texts (don't have all the numbers I need, but they have MINE as it was on the invite).

One mum has come back to me. So, we're now up to a definite 6. I think that's enough for a party and I just have to relax now and breath in and breath out and although it's a WASTE I guess it doesn't really matter if the other kids show up or not. It will still COST me the same.

No. It doesn't work. It's still annoying!! glad that i am not being too uppity expecting an rsvp to my child's party.

Another to recommend that you ring the parents directly.

I do have a mobile phone (somewhere in my bag). I carry it in case the car breaks down. I don't use it. I have texted three times in my life. I would never think to check it for texts to me.

So if any of the parents are like me, they may never check their phones and don't know that you are texting them, and would certainly never text you back.

Sorry, but having a mobile phone and refusing to use it for any sensible purpose is unreasonable in its own right. Hopefully you are a positively anal RSVPer by different means.

I think you should have let the parents know on the invite the date you wanted an RSVP by and made it VERY clear that if they did not respond by that date then there would not be a place open for their child at the party. People lead such busy lives now and it's not always easy to remember to phone/text/email a response. If they miss out then they miss out.

Well to be frank, I don't think anyone apart from DH and DS1 has the number. I certainly don't know it so don't give it to anyone.
I don't see what the problem is with just having the phone in case I have an emergency.

It may be an age thing, but now I think about it none of the people I work or socialise with seem to use their mobiles at all, if they have them.

We just use normal phones and email.

personally i would hound them..

and then i'd leave a message saying - i will assume if i don't hear from you by tomorrow that your son/daughter cannot attend and therefore will not book a space for her.

but then i'm ruthless

Libra I know several people in their 30s who don't own a mobile phone and the ones that do don't use them unless it's an emergency so you are not alone there.

I hardly use my mobile phone either and most of the time it's on silent, much to DH's annoyance! I just can't be bothered with it. I'd rather just use a landline phone if I need to phone someone. So I'm another one who'd miss out on something because I don't check my phone every five seconds!

Lovechoc - if only I was in my thirties!!

I realise I may have come across as rather unreasonable - I don't check my mobile every five minutes either since I value my sanity but it alerts me when a new message comes in anyway.

I do have friends without mobile phones. Which is absolutely not a problem because everyone knows you need to ring their landline or send them an email. But if you've been given someone's mobile number it strikes me as quite reasonable to assume that they actually use the phone as a communication device!

If someone is trying to confirm attendance at a party there's nothing more irritating than a smug "Oh I don't turn my phone on or check for messages" response.

sorry libra I wasn't trying to say it's a set age group that doesn't use mobiles sometimes, I was just picking an age group at random. I'm in my 20s and don't really use a mobile much for various reasons.