dh wants to get dd a mobile phone for her birthday

[cheesesarnie]

she will be ten and ive said a big fat no.

aibu?

My dd is 11 nearly 12 and has one, mainly for walking to/from High School. It has been great as afterschool clubs regularly get cancelled and she will phone up and tell me she is coming home etc.

IMHO it comes down to why does she need a phone?

If it's because "everyone else has got one" or just to play games, etc then YANBU.

If she is regularly away from home with no adult supervision (e.g. if she was going to high school by bus, etc) then YABU (but as she's only 10 then I'd guess that's not happening yet).

It might be worth negotiating a time when a phone is needed and agree to buy one then.

HTH

thats what i said.she doesnt need one at the moment.next year when she starts secondary school she might need one but not yet!

Most people we know with older kids seem to have got them a phone when they're 11, which is when they're off to secondary. Seems sensible to me (though certainly not 'needed' then even, for most imo)

Ten is too young imo unless as Tidy says, she is often unaccompanied.

nope not unaccompanied.although were having this argument too.about going down to shops on her own.

I think it's important as well that kids and parents don't just see the mobile as a passport to safety. They still need to get experience of being out alone, they need to be able to know how to use a public call box, how to reverse the charges (mobiles can get lost, stolen, out of battery!)and who best to approach if in trouble etc.

I think if she's ten she ought to be going to the shops on her own, she has to learn and ten is a good age imo

You can get firefly ph my newphew is 8 and has one of these as he goes to different clubs etc it is designed esp for kids as they can only ring stored ph no is connected to an adults ph has no text or camera so cannot be used for bullying etc
Prob [def] not what your dd would want be it is a good safety tool if that is your dh intention for the ph esp as she is so young

my ds3 has had a phone since he was about 6 it was a hand me down from his older brother - but he read the booklet learnt everything the phone was capable of and uses it to its full function-he has used it very sensibly and now hes 9 he could use it in the event of any emergency or need.

In the pharmacy a v old gentleman was trying to answer his own mobile phone and was clearly struggling - ds3 answered it for him and the old man even asked ds3 to reassure his wife he was ok .

Its moving with the times and children today 'get' technology much earlier than we did-bloody hell at 9 Id barely mastered major morgan lol.

It was always my intention that Ds would not have a mobile phone until he was 14...he's 11 now. I did though, get him a cheap one for Christmas as I was fed up with him trying to phone me from the school payphone with his 'emergency phone money' and not being able to hear me/me hear him etc, with the result that the money was wasted and he had to find a friend that'd lend him his phone to ring me.
Ds's credit unfortunately, was wasted on a 'free' music download which actually worked out at £4.50 for 19 seconds! plus a few texts! so he's been without credit for a while now. I can of course phone him which has been a blessing(where are you?!) and he gets 5 free can I ring him back texts, which he has used a few times.
I wouldn't get her one until secondary school, but I have definitely had a change of mind on the whole age they should be allowed one thing.

My boy got one for his tenth because he was upset about moving schools so I got him one and said he could store all his old friends numbers etc. Only his dad rings really but he does like taking videos on it constantly FFS

ds got one for his 10th birthday , now he has four of them as my brothers keep giving him their old phones , he drives me mad playing his songs on all of them , still i think its better to be able to contact them when they are out playing , as my ds forgets to come for dinner otherwise .

DD1 (9) has just bought one with money saved over from her birthday. I said no, over and over again. I only agreed this time due to her twunt of a dad, who doesn't allow her or DD2 to contact me when they are away with him (usually for over two weeks). She understands that it will be locked up whilst she's at home. So like Tidybush said, it's about why it's needed.

If you feel there is no need then fair dos...

I got phones for my eldest 2 children when they were 11 and 12.
Ds, who was 11, has only just started to use his recently, he is now 12. Dd has always used hers.
It takes a certain level of maturity to remember to top it up, and to carry it in appropriate circumstances. I would say 12th birthday is the time, in our family at least.

Incidentally, we have got contract phones, because they can call free to landlines and other phones from the same operator. SMS and calls to other mobiles cost, and are forbidden. So far, it's worked out fine, albeit on the expensive side (25 euros per month per phone).

thanks all.CirrhosisByTheSea very true.i like your way of thinking.

Both my girls had their phones at 10 and use them mainly for downloading. I'm a bit of a wuss and even now they are 11 and 12, i feel much happier if i know i can contact them when i need to.

My eldest just took a 5 min walk to her friends house and i made her text me when she got there , i just cant cut the apron strings when it comes to them.

well i talked dh out of it!shes getting a stereo for her room.

so glad when mn thinks im right