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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be peeved at stealing preggers glory?

48 replies

SulkyMcSulksulk · 04/04/2010 19:58

.. yeah I think I know the answer to this, but will rant anyway...

I am 13 weeks pg and am the first in the family to sprogginate... hence am quite enjoying the excited attention from my family and the in-laws. Then had a call from my (much loved) twin sis yesterday saying that lo and behold, they are pregnant! She's due 2 months after me.

I AM happy for her, really I am but I can't help feeling very much like stamping my foot and whinging 'But its MY turn!! Get out of my spotlight!!' Doesn't help that they managed it first time, and it took us almost a year to get that BFP (and I know, that's not really that long, unless you're in the middle of 2ww hell..)

.. Ok, I will stop behaving like a two year old now...

OP posts:

skidoodly · 04/04/2010 20:38

pissed off why?

come on, it is really fucking unreasonable to be pissed off that someone else is pregnant because you want all the attention.

The OP knows that, she's just having an anonymous rant, but seriously, how can you possibly think that is anything other than a lousy, selfish feeling?

We all have unreasonable feelings about things, but at least recognise them for that.

wonka · 04/04/2010 20:44

Skidoodly who was pissed off?

Original poster

SulkyMcSulksulk · 04/04/2010 20:49

Skidoodly - I fully admit that I'm having a childish rant (hence name changing) I think Gwennie was sympathising as she'd had a similar experience...

Just as an after-thought - there is NO way I would ever mention this sulk to my sis, as I am generally a sensible adut. Just thought I'd take the chance to have a little pout on MN.. I expected to get shouted down - it's one of the reasons why I posted, so that it would shake a bit of sense into me.. I DO recognise that I am feeling unreasonable.

OP posts:

outnumbered2to1 · 04/04/2010 20:54

YANBU - its hormones......

i fell pregnant 4 months after my twin brother's wife and didn't think anything of it till i got very sulky text message from my SIL asking if there was anything else i planned to ruin for her?!!

I text my brother back asking WTF (its not like i planned it and our family has a serious history of 4 -6 months gaps between nephews and nieces). My brother thought it was funny and just laughed it off. SIL did eventually apologise for being a dick about the whole thing and is now glad that her son has ready made playmate his own age.

WinkyWinkola · 04/04/2010 20:58

I was delighted when my two sils announced their pgcies just before I had my ds and just after I'd fallen pg with dd.

I felt it took a lot of the heat off me. The intense focus of the gps was not just on me but my sils too.

But if you're keen on the spotlight, I can see why you'd be peeved.

You're still the first to sprogginate in the family though!

Congratulations.

OnlyWantsOne · 04/04/2010 20:59

it will be fantastic,

my sister and I had our babies 2 weeks apart, and my sister in law had her baby in between them, so 3 babies in 2 weeks.

Was very very cool

Rockbird · 04/04/2010 21:03

YABU but I know exactly how you feel. I had my pfb in the January and she was about 4 weeks old when my brother and SIL announced the imminent arrival of their third. I was inwardly furious. All I could think of was that DD's first Christmas would be overshadowed by a younger cousin. I was absolutely hopping! . Of course Christmas came nearly a year later and I didn't even think of it, never mind care! It's hormones. It'll be lovely for you both and for the children. ML is a lonely time if you're off on your own. I wish I'd had someone to share it with.

Congratulations

Firawla · 04/04/2010 21:32

Yabu and i think after a couple of days you will realise that you're just being silly about this and that actually it is great news you and your sister to have a baby close in age, especially if you get on well with her it will be ideal for both of you and for your dcs to be able to play together. Feeling annoyed is a bit irrational, its not that your family is going to say oh someone else is pregnant now so you go away we no longer care about you and your baby, they will care about both and excited for both. It must be hormones or something, but try to think rationally, Im sure dsis would be quite hurt to think that you begrudge her pregnancy! (anyone would be, in her shoes)

ChezzaB · 04/04/2010 21:33

I have been in much the same situation, I was also first to 'sprogginate" my Dsister who is 5 yrs younger than me and youngest of 4 got pregnant 4 months into my pregnancy, then the day after I had DS1 she had 20 week scan so everyone was very excited bout the fact she was having a girl. Then when I was pregnant with DS2 my DB who is sister's twin and blue eyed boy announced him and DG were expecting too! There is actually only 6 weeks between DS1 and DN! I love both DN's to bits and would love so much if they lived closer so we could take advantage of their closeness in age, however I was also a bit when it all happened I also blame hormones but would not change my gorgeous nieces for the world or obviously my 2DS.

LetThereBeRock · 04/04/2010 21:35

YABVU to use preggers and sprogginate.

LetThereBeRock · 04/04/2010 21:35

And YABU for being pissed off about it though we'll blame the hormones for that.

Congratulations btw.

CwtchyMama · 04/04/2010 21:39

YABU to use such silly slang words but you already know that don't you?

I dont get this 'oh i am the first to have a baby in our family,ner ner ner ner ner'

So what? Each baby is special & cherished,it doesn't matter in what order they are born does it?

Congrats btw.

HerHonesty · 04/04/2010 21:46

yup. get a life.

but congratulations.

GenevieveHawkings · 04/04/2010 21:54

Only thing you are guilty of in my book is the use of the dreaded "they/we are pregnant" expression.

I haaaaate that bloody expression. It's so cheesy American baby programme and for me is right up there with "spag bol" and "scrummy" .

l39 · 04/04/2010 21:56

It might make you feel better to think how jealous she'll be of you. You've finished the first trimester, the worst one - she's only 5 weeks so morning sickness is just about to start. You'll have your baby and be getting your figure back when she's still hoping to go into labour soon.

My sister and I both got pregnant between days of each other, third pregnancy for both of us. Purely by chance we both were expecting twins (no fertility treatment) but she miscarried one. I didn't find out I was having twins too until after that (I postponed my booking visit until 16 weeks because of her miscarriage) and felt guilty, it must have been hard for her. She never said anything negative though.

MadameDefarge · 04/04/2010 22:05

YANBU

when I got pregnant with ds (unplanned) and having a pretty tough time of it with exp, SIL decided to get weepy because she decided she was infertile (had been trying for , ooh, three months?) suffice to say she got pregnant immediately after and ds has a lovely cousin two months younger than him.

Could have decked her though!

OrmRenewed · 04/04/2010 22:07

Grow up!

Sorry. Not sympathy here. All babies are precious so don't make it a competition.

Bumperliciouzzzzzz · 04/04/2010 22:09

Oh, it'll be fab to have kids so close in age and YABU.

But, I can kind of understand where you are coming from, I was very secretly pleased to have the first (and therefore most cherished ) grandchild in my family!

My sister is due with a little boy in June though, so she'll get her moment with the first grandson.

DinahRod · 04/04/2010 22:20

Congratulations!

Am genuinely excited for anyone pg. Unfortunately a colleague was most put out when I was pg first time round. She had told us everything, almost from the point of conception, in fact I'm pretty sure she told us the position she conceived in! Because I was concerned about mc I didn't say anything until about 15 weeks, 4 weeks further along, and she was soooo genuinely cross!

SparklyGothKat · 04/04/2010 22:27

My aunt who is 3 years younger than me, after finding out i was pregnant with DD2, and that we were due on the same day accused me of 'pissing on her fireworks' She then tried every trick in the book to get the hospital to deliver her early As it was I delivered Dd2 at 33 weeks, and got a call from her calling me 'a cow' for having my baby early.....

In 2007 I found out I was pregnant 2 months after my sister, we had a lovely pregnancy each where we could compare things, we both found out we had a blood clotting disorder and were given the same blood thinner injections, and we used to encourage each other to 'just do it' when we got scared about injecting ourselves. Her DD2 and my Ds2 were born 4 days apart in the end, and its lovely, they play well together and do love each other, even though their are both 30 months old now and fight over the same toys.

gtamom · 04/04/2010 23:31

My cousin and I were pregnant together and it was a lot of fun. Go with it! Imagine if you both have twins!

Pikelit · 05/04/2010 03:09

sprogginate?

Not an abomination that's going to be easily overcome, I fear. With just cause.

WinkyWinkola · 05/04/2010 16:35

SparklyGothKat, your aunt sounds like a nutter. How are things now with her?

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