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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my dh's colleague's oh should not be calling him

26 replies

mabble · 04/04/2010 17:38

on Easter Sunday (or any Sunday for that matter) to have a go at my dh for providing feedback to said colleague after receiving complaints from customers?

My dh was so shocked he didn't know what to say so I took the phone off him and told colleague's oh that phoning a personal mobile on a non-working day about a work related matter was unacceptable?

Colleague's oh called back 5 minutes later and asked to speak to dh, I said no he's not available but I will pass a message on and colleague's oh said "give over love" so I put the phone down.

Now aibu in thinking that work related matters are to be discussed during working hours in work?

OP posts:
TidyBush · 04/04/2010 17:39

YANBU. Why is the OH calling anyway - how old is the colleague -14?

BitOfFun · 04/04/2010 17:40

I wouldn't want to mess with you

ColdBunny · 04/04/2010 17:40

Does he work for a very small company? I think it is unacceptable, but sometimes in small companies they have this kind of culture.

Lulumaam · 04/04/2010 17:41

yanbu BUT by taking teh phone off Dh and him not being able to deal with the situation, he now looks utterly unprofessional and weak and he should be able to deal with this sort of thing whether a work day or not, so YABU too

your DH should have said ' i will discuss this after the easter weekend, thank you'

that's all

rather than his wife taking the call

find it quite shocking he could not deal with this sort of thing

Spidermama · 04/04/2010 17:41

Scary people.YANBU.

However, it sounds as if your DH has upset this colleague. You should not be bothered by it especially on a Bank Holiday weekend. Your DH should shield you from this as he has caused it.

Lulumaam · 04/04/2010 17:42

sorry ! i misread it ! so the colleagues OH called !! then no, YANBU, but Dh should still have simply said ' ill deal with after the weekend ' and left it at that

the two of tehm having their OHs having a row about their work is so silly!

diddl · 04/04/2010 17:43

Am I the only one finding this really weird?

Husband was so shocked he didn´t know what to say?

Not even I won´t discuss it with you?

OP then spoke for her husband?

mangoandlime · 04/04/2010 17:44

Why was the wife ringing you? Too much vino over the Easter lunch?

Not acceptable at all, but you should really have let your DH deal with it himself.

Tee2072 · 04/04/2010 17:45

No, diddl, I agree. This is incredibly weird. And unprofessional all the way around.

Original poster
mabble · 04/04/2010 17:47

It is a small company but this isn't the first time this person's oh has called my dh directly. My oh isn't the boss so can't do anything about the complaints except pass on the feedback.

I know I shouldn't have taken the phone but I got so annoyed and thought well if this colleague won't talk to my dh directly why shouldn't I talk to their oh? I blame the pregnancy hormones!

OP posts:
Original poster
mabble · 04/04/2010 17:48

and dh did say there isn't anything he can do about it until he's back in work on tuesday anyway but the abuse kept coming

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 04/04/2010 17:48

I am bewildered to why they would want to phone on a personal mobile when not highly important.

But I duly agree with the person who earlier said for you to leave it to your OH to deal with. It looks tragic for you and the other guy's wife to be doing battle...

ScreaminEagle · 04/04/2010 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fluffyone · 04/04/2010 18:30

Yes, your DH should be making a complaint to his boss. The work colleague should not be handing out your DH's phone number to her family, and the fact that her DH was eventually rude to you... some firms would be taking disciplinary action.

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/04/2010 00:34

Was your DH's colleague even aware that their OH called? I'm presuming that the colleague has your number on their mobile and that their OH used that mobile to call?

You are going to come back on Tuesday and tell us what happens when your DH returns to work? [pleading face emoticon]

differentnameforthis · 05/04/2010 02:34

How is you taking over the phone call any better than this guys OH calling in the first place?

She took matters into her own hands, which pissed you off, yet you did exactly the same....hypocritical, no?

Tortington · 05/04/2010 02:38

no, not at all hypocritical.

not in the least. maybe there is irony in the fact that the op did this - but hypocrisy - no.

if you can't see how it is wildly different - then i will struggle to explain it to you.

emsyj · 05/04/2010 11:48

How bizarre that the colleague's OH would call to speak to your DH and how even MORE bizarre that you would then deal with the call????? Is this serious? Anything that happens at work, including feedback on your DH's colleague's performance, is a WORK matter and is none of her business - and none of yours either. YABU and so is she. Butt out!

damnedchilblains · 05/04/2010 14:00

"by taking teh phone off Dh and him not being able to deal with the situation, he now looks utterly unprofessional and weak and he should be able to deal with this sort of thing whether a work day or not"

Completely agree but so ditto for the colleague. This is a little nuts

HeatherTrott · 05/04/2010 14:07

So this would be a classic case of "helicopter partnering"

Fimbow · 05/04/2010 14:08

This sounds madness.

My dh would have been horrified and mortified at me, never mind the person's partner.

EndangeredSpecies · 05/04/2010 14:12

Well done OP! People who don't know where to draw the line annoy me as well. Perhaps the colleague got a crap kinder surprise in her Easter egg and wanted to ruin everyone else's day.

CoronaAndLime · 05/04/2010 15:42

I would have grebbed the phone and told the silly cow where to go!

Not the best thing to do but can understand why you did it.

I hope your Dh lets his boss know about this nutter tomorrow!

SouthMum · 05/04/2010 16:36

YABU with regards to the mobile thing. Mobiles are by definition an easy way to get hold of somebody wherever you both are. Surely he could have seen who it was calling and just not answered?

I think there is more to this story.....

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2010 16:39

I don't understand - does the colleague's partner even work for the company??

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