Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To have expected anything on our 10th anniversary

43 replies

DamnHisEyes · 02/04/2010 15:08

So we've both been working flat out, we have two kids and little time for anything. So yesterday was our 10th anniversary and although I haven't had time to do anything I booked half a day's leave thinking I could make a nice dinner and maybe if we were lucky the girls would settle nicely and early and we could just cuddle on the sofa with some wine after. Until he said he was going for drinks with his mates after work. Didn't say anything in case maybe was going to be surprised. Turns out nope he really had drinks and curry night out planned. But sweet FA for us or anyhing for he rest of this weekend. Should I really be seething as much as I am? I want to shout but don't even know if it's worth it givn he obviously doesn't think it is.

OP posts:

MillyMollyMoo · 02/04/2010 23:19

A friend of ours received a three diamond ring and a trip to Barcelona for a dirty weekend for her 10th anniversary, something that I have told DH about on more than one occasion.

cat64 · 03/04/2010 00:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SalFresco · 03/04/2010 07:25

The "oh he's a man" thing is an excuse for DH not cleanimg the loo. Or not understanding your home filing system. Not buggering off out on your wedding anniversary!! "He's not a mindreader," ffs!

OP, YANBU

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 03/04/2010 07:35

It was our 10th last week. I'm quite prone to forgetting, DH is much better and bought a lovely camellia last year. I had remembered this year as it is our 10th so we discussed what to do before hand and decided as we couldn't get a babysitter we'd get take a way and no card.

In the event I felt terrible that night and went to bed so we're celebrating another day. I most definitely don't want diamonds but would have been annoyed if he'd gone to the pub.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 03/04/2010 11:09

salfresco keep your knickers on, it is my view and I would ask that you respect other peoples' opinions! The whole concept of an anniversary is that it is up to the 2 people married what they would like to do to celebrate it (if anything). It's not an excuse for a man to treat a woman, it's a 2 way street. Some men and some women are just not that bothered so if the op was bothered she should have discussed it with him rather than simmering with resentment when he forgot. And no, runnybottom I'm not married to a "twat" as you so politely put it, I'm married to someone who would rather be a good husband all year round than be judged on how he treats me on our anniversary.

runnybottom · 03/04/2010 13:34

and what on earth would make you think I'm talking about you, rather than those who are a little more obviously twattish?

MunchkinsMumof2 · 03/04/2010 14:05

Maybe it's the sweeping generalisations runnybottom that implies people posting on this thread are married to twats?!

DebiNewberry · 03/04/2010 14:09

Yanbu, I would be LIVID.

runnybottom · 03/04/2010 14:20

do you know what the word some means Munchkins?

TottWriter · 03/04/2010 14:22

YANBU to be annoyed, byt YABU to 'test' him by not making it clear that a few rounds with his mates was not going to cut it.

You've been married ten years; surely that's long enough to know what he's like with anniversaries?

SpicedGerkin · 03/04/2010 14:28

Methinks RB hit a nerve...

Original poster

DamnHisEyes · 03/04/2010 16:47

Well that's what's annoying me so much I think because he's normally quite good about such things and usually makes some effort. I'm not very fussed about big presents or having to do somethig special either, even cards to be honest I think are a waste. He's pretty good as blokes go. And of course I could have made an effort to do something too. But I do think going for drinks with his mates on he night, without having made any plans to mark it in any other way, and thinking oh she can just stay in with the kids, is taking the piss.

OP posts:

bobdog · 03/04/2010 20:21

YANBU. It was my 10th last year which dp failed to mark in any way. It made me sad. I don't get lovely birthday presents and when we'd both been working hard he managed to forget my birthday, another time failed to produce anything for Christmas.

He says it's because he can't find the right thing or it's not good enough which would be fine if he did produce anything, anything at all at random points of the year when he did spot something. I actually just think he is lazy and selfish and that if you don't venture out of your comfort zone of internet tool catalogues and the reduced section at the supermarket then you won't find anything scrummy.

He does have lots of good points but the recent gift of a pair of gardening gloves which he ordered when getting bits for his chainsaw was typical and frankly insulting.

I'm looking of a lover to shower me with expensive , frivalous luxuries by my next anniversary

Original poster

DamnHisEyes · 03/04/2010 20:49

Hahaha bobdog, I like it. I can also emphatise re reduced section at supermarket. DH has his points but splurging on lovely presents is not a strong one. Last time I said I wanted a wallet for my birthday - leather and black please - he bought me one from the local market. It was brown and lumpen "but it's genuine leather" he said.

OP posts:

bobdog · 03/04/2010 21:02

YANBU, perhaps we've been too reasonable in the past but nevermind...

Repeat after me 'He does have his good points, he does have his good points'

wizbitwaffle · 03/04/2010 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MunchkinsMumof2 · 03/04/2010 21:33

No nerve hit here SpicedGerkin because if you read my posts I have a loving thoughtful dh, but thanks for your concern As for whether I understand "more" thanks rb I do being an English Graduate I also object to sweeping statements and the inability to accept that people have differing opinions, do you know what forum means?

runnybottom · 04/04/2010 00:03

You're not making a lot of sense there munchkins. What inability? My opinion is that some posters married twats, yout opinion is that you think its all about you. Plenty of room for both opinions here, obviously.

Flip

1 2