...to find this parent DEEPLY irritating ?

[argeybargey]

• I am usually pretty tolerant so the fact that this is bothering me to the extent that i am posting it on here now is bothering me somewhat . Anway....

There is a parent and her child who i am beginning to be irritated by beyond belief. I cannot avoid them as they live locally, child goes to school with my child, and said mother is trying to force a friendship with my child. Said child is totally wrapped up in cotton wool, indulged,mollicoddled and never told off. consequently said child does exactly what it likes , including : pushing my child off play equipment when it thinks that no one is looking,trying to order my child to do things for it, snatching from my child, pushing in front of my child and generally having to have all attention on itself at all times. said child is 5 years old, not a pre schooler. said mother just stands by generally being inneffective and simpering 'don't do that love,'with no conviction whatsoever; said child of course just continues to do it. this happened again yesterday when said child started slapping it's mother IN THE FACE because it didn't want to go home from an activity , and yet again said mother just simperered and basically didn't do anything.
It wouldn't be so bad (ie - i could just avoid said parent & child, or at least try to) only this parent is trying to force a friendship between my child and hers. my child will play with anyone to be honest and isn't at all spitefull, not an angel of course , but definately not a spiteful child.whenever this other child plays with mine squabbling ensues as said child cannot share or 'play nicely' for any length of time. my child plays with other friends with no problems whatsover (bar the odd, usual one ,now and again)from either her or her friends.my child does stand up to this other child which is usually what sets the other child off. said parent has also started signing up her child for pretty much every activity that my child already does.so everywhere we go, they seem to be there....and this child is constantly trying to undermine my child...my child is fairly placid in comparison (not particularly competitive)and i worry that she will get squashed on and that it will affect her self esteem.)
sorry to rant but i am just so fed up of the situation. anybody got any ideas of how to cope with this situation ? i don't want to be nasty to anybody but i have to look out for my child.

Sorry that was Skihorse. How un PC of you

what the hell is circle time????

I have a 5 yr old dc but know op not about me as i do not know what this 'round' concept is [good mother preen]

maybe you is hoping her child will lean a nicer way to behave from your child?

i feel sorry for the other mum, but always do in these threads

• circle time is a school /early years/nursery setting thingy where they sit around in a circle sharing interesting facts about their day or singing wee ditties. It seems to work very well in a school context which is where it should bloody well stay in my opinion, not to be resurrected in the middle of the library/park/someone's garden by some - OK, I'll stop there. I've had a glass of wine

oops sorry!

maybe she is hoping her child will learn to behave nicer from your child?

Surely it is just one activity and school where they are together if you don't agree to any play dates instigated my the child's mother? If you go to the park or library and this child is there stay for a short amount of time and then leave to do something different if it bothers you that much.

jeez - argey that reminds me of my friend, shes absolutely lovely, and a teacher and her dd is a delight but when her dd comes to play with mine i just send them upstairs to get on with it. Whereas she does 'activities' when they go to hers.

She said to me 'well i do let them have some free play' what the hell is 'free play'? (I know really, i'm not stupid i just think they're at school all week let them watch dvds or play outside or paint or etc etc)

-southeastastra - i know what you mean. And i am not devoid of compassion myself. however i am weary of said parent using my child as an accessory to her child's development. if said child needs to learn a nicer way to behave then that should really be starting at home , and coming from her , imo. My child is not responsible for helping her child to learn a nicer way to play . my child's only responsibility, as a five year old is to be herself , control her own behaviour ,and enjoy being five years old. it hits a nerve tbh as this is exactly why i think that this parent is trying to force this friendship and it is not bringing anything positive to my child. my child being adversely affected matters more to me than this other child learning a nicer way to play tbh.sorry but that is how i feel.

Phew! Sounds annoying, why not have a rant! You are doing your best to protect her (in polite terms) but it sounds like it's going to erupt shortly unless you make things clearer to the mum and or the child.
When a child has behaved like this with my son I had them round for a playdate and spoke calmly to the other child (not like the "Hand that rocked the cradle" actress but in a stern I don't take shit manner). "That's not how you treat people" that kind of thing. Continue to do the avoidance tecniques as much as you can but when the girls are playing be there and have eye contact, the other child will gain respect for you and learn to behave when your around - don't be afraid to pull them up for bad behaviour in front of others too. It works and if her mum's miffed - tough!

• i do know what you mean ,thesecondcoming, and i am vigilant for making sure that i am not doing that ...i don't honestly think that there is a conscious intent there on part of other child (so , no, not machiavellian i agree)but i do think that children can still know on some level about cause and effect and about the effect that their bahaviour can have on another, even if that is just on an instinctual level iyswim.that's all that i meant.

thanks willybreeder (can't help giggling as i write your postname lol): ) big fat genuine thankyou to all posters,i am going to follow the suggestions from most of posters and also try and chill a bit - i actually feel soooo much better now, and more positive about the situation now that i have shared it here,and there is certainly no chance of me sounding off to parent or child in an explosive manner now, thank god : )