to be upset at neighbours banging on the wall?

[QQQ]

Am quite new here and will try to keep it brief...
We live in a semi, had the same neighbours since we moved in 11 years ago they keep to themselves but would say hello etc (although the man was never particularly friendly). They have 2 girls who have both now left home for Uni/work. We have 2 boys age 4 & 1. As you would expect for 2 boys that age they are not particularly quiet but I don't let them run riot either. Neighbours have banged on the wall with increasing frequency since ds2 arrived 18months ago e.g. when ds1 been stomping/dancing (bloody boogie pete and his dinosaur boogie), when ds friend was having a major tantrum (it did go on for ages and I would have handled it differently if it was my dd), when ds has been crying/tantrum and when he's been dancing upstairs. It doesn't happen all the time maybe 2 times a month or so (and never when dh is home) but its really getting to me I feel like my home is not my own.

Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? Now all of these things happen during the day (no they don't do shift work next door)and from what I know from other peoples kids/houses mine are no noisier than what you'd normally expect from a young family and I really don't see what I can do to solve it. Once the kids are in bed our house is virtually silent! If things are getting loud then I'll say to ds1 to quiten down and often say do you want the man next door to bang on the wall. I don't know if this is the right thing to say, on one hand I want him to know that what he's doing affects others but on the other I don't want him scared of the miserable sod next door banging at him.

I think part of the problem is that their girls have left over the time my boys have arrived so they've gone from a family house with all its noises to a couple on their own and we've gone the opposite way so they must be more aware of the noise now their house is empty.

Any suggestions anyone? I should point out that they have not been the quietest themselves over the years with rows, music diy at stupid hours, barking dogs, a cockerel(!) etc and girls having noisy parties when parents away but we've never said anything (except about the cockerely which we mentioned politely and which they got rid of) as we accept that if you're attached to someone you're going to have to put up with some noise. So AIBU?? Thanks for reading not quite as brief as intended sorry!

It amazes me how some people move into an apartment or semi detached house and expect the same level of peace and quiet as if they were living in a detached mansion somewhere. Obviously, loud music, regular screaming matches, or diy being done late at night is out of order. But normal family noises, during the day, is something you just have to live with if you're living in a housing estate or apartment block. This is one of the reasons they're CHEAPER than detatched houses.

Don?t let them upset you or get away with it. We now live next to our neighbours from hell quite happily as we don't let their complaints on normal family noise bother us and have told them it is unreasonable. The complaints range from they can hear our children running up the stairs, the noise our central heating makes and the opening and closing of our kitchen cupboards. Apparently they came to blows with the last people who lived here over similar complaints and couldn?t even share the same shared path any more because of it.

They have also complained about our neighbour jumping on their trampoline and the noise they make in the garden and they are one of the quietest families I have ever come across.

They have also suggested we relocate our BBQ which was here when we bought and has been used once to the back of the garden. They are 2 gay men living in a 4 bed semi-detached house in a row of similar so what do they expect. Any time they mention noise to me I say oh I know we can here all your conversations and even footsteps these walls are so thin aren?t they. They have also complained about my husband getting in late leaving early as he works shifts.

I used to get really upset about it until I decided not to give them that power anymore. Everyone knows they are very unreasonable and we are well liked by all the other neighours so now I ignore it completely. However when I first moved in nearly 3 years ago I was like a sergeant major to my children basically having them tip toe around so as not to disturb said neighbours. Luckily I realised that wasn?t the answer and although I don't let them run wild play loud music they can enjoy normal family pursuits like running up the stairs, insult hurling and even the odd door slam.

I did tell the neighbours that was actually unreasonable and unsociable of them not to expect a certain amount of noise given they are living in a family house amongst similar. I also suggested a detached property in the middle of nowhere might be more suited to them. I advised against sheltered housing as said they would likely be much more noisy than us.

Remarkably we are still on good terms I have a very thick skin and when not complaining about noise they are ok and of course very quite neighbours.

In your situation its intolerance pure and simple and these types of people are just as antisocial as someone blaring music through the night. Similarly they can be issued Asbos in extreme cases.

I just move my new house week ago I have 3 children's my daughter who is 6 years old and son is 4 years old he is deaf can't hear nothing at all and autism and I have 3 years old daughter since I move my neighbours banging on the wall. At 5:40pm it's too early to put my kids to sleep the late time I put them sleep is at 7:30pm but they bang the walls my oldest sacred of little things she was mommy I can't sleep the room something in the wall banging tonight is the latest they sleep at 8:00pm cuz they scare my son takes time to put him sleep not easy but he is the best child don't make any sound only he make soundis when I am putting him bed other than we not nosey family my girls when they going to they bed they sing or make stories than sleep at 7:30 since I moved I hear they dogs but I they didn't bang the wall and I don't care. They should respect too not to bang the walls. What should I do

You should start your own thread.

Or take the advice on THIS thread and go talk to them.