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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not all this fuss and drama just because I had a ecs last time?

50 replies

UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 12:55

Managed to get through last pregnancy with as little fuss and minimal appointments with midwife as possible.

DD got stuck on the way out after I dilated to 10 cm so ended up with ecs.

This pregnancy already seems like its going to be a lot of fuss and drama because of previous cs and I'm only 9 weeeks with umpteen appointement with midwife and consultant.

Does it really need to be like this? I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby last time, she just got stuck which the surgeon asid was one those things and I could have a virginal birth next time, which I am trying for.

So AIBU to think just leave me alone.

There is also the issue of weight. Am 13.5 stone so know I am going to be moaned at the whole way through this pregnancy.

I just want to be left alone with minimal fuss is that unreasonable.

OP posts:
LetThereBeRock · 31/03/2010 12:56

A virginal birth? Not unless your name's Mary.

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 12:56

Oh brain has gone to shit so excuse the typos

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 31/03/2010 12:57

at virginal birth. There's an oxymoron if ever I saw one.

Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 12:59

you will be considered high risk due to your previous c.section.
it does have implications

however you can decline to attend your consultant appointments, if it is your informed decision to do so

what fuss and drama can you have had at 9 weeks? you've not even had a 12 week scan or booking in appt ?

you can accept or decline any or all ante natal care, but you need to appraise yourself of the risks/benefits of a VBAC

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 12:59

Ladies can you ignore the typos and tell me I am not BU - I am extremely hormonal!

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 31/03/2010 13:00

unsure, I'm also 9wks and a LOT heavier than you with dc4

having had DD1 naturally, DD2 as an EMCS and DD3 as an elective I've been told I've no choice but to have an elective

if you're adament about having a VBAC then make sure you read up on it all and prepare yourself as best as possible to show you are serious - they're never going to force you into major surgery if it isn't necessary but you have to be able to show you're up to speed on all the options

inbetween DD2 and DD3, I was determined to have a VBAC and went to the osteo/did prenatal yoga - read up on it all etc etc - didn't happen in the end but that was for very mitigating circumstances anyway she's here safe and the elective was MUCH easier to recover from than the elective

hth and congratulations

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 13:00

I just had a letter through the door telling me of four appointments I have to attend by the beginning of June

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 31/03/2010 13:01

gosh, that is a lot - am booked in for another scan at 20wks and have been told to expect the consultant to want to see me sooner but thats for other issues, not the delivery - what are your appts for?

l39 · 31/03/2010 13:02

Umpteen appointments with the consultant because of a bit of bad luck? That seems odd. I had an emergency section with DD4. One meeting with consultant at 12 weeks into next pregnancy to say VBAC seemed fine. Would have had another apt. at 41 weeks but DD5 was already here!

Was the cs a vertical incision? That leads to more risk next time I think, but it's quite rare.

Having had a long gap between children quite honestly I feel they have not enough antenatals these days. 12 weeks to 24 or 26 with nothing!

Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 13:03

what appointments are these, OP?

you don't have to attend them, but you need to make an informed decisoin about your care, rathter than a knee jerk hormonal reaction

congrats , dizzy!!

l39 · 31/03/2010 13:04

Took too long typing. Four appointments in 2 months? Where are you in the country? They don't do that in Hampshire.

dizzydixies · 31/03/2010 13:05

thanks Lulu - still can't quite believe it even though was scanned yesterday and definately in there!

ShowOfHands · 31/03/2010 13:05

Pregnancy, labour and delivery after emcs are different and there are risks that have to be taken into account.

4 appointments in a couple of months isn't 'fuss and drama' imo, it's managing a pregnancy that entails risk. Can you not try and change your approach to it? So it's not fuss and drama, it's them acknowledging risk and trying to manage it appropriately. Try and work with them as opposed to against them.

I do understand. I had an em cs and should I ever have another would want to feel in control and not like a risk factor to be managed but I do think it's appropriate that where available, modern medicine is able to look out for possibilities that arise from previous method of delivery. As lulu says, it is your choice as to whether you attend any/all appointments. Talk to them about why these appointments are happening and what you find unacceptable.

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 13:07

Well to be fair one is my normal 20wk scan. The other is a midwife appointment, an appoinment with consultant and then scan with consultant.

I just hate being poked, prodded and fussed over.

Not looking forward to the wieght lectures either.

Did you get moaned at Dizzy? I've already been told I'm obese and not to put any more weight one, which is rather difficult as I am starving all the time. Also been told to expect a lot of conversations about my weight from my midwife. Great.

OP posts:
OhYouBadBadKitten · 31/03/2010 13:07

Congratulations Dizzy

ShowOfHands · 31/03/2010 13:08

With my first pg (low risk), I had a 12 week scan, 14 week mw appointment, 16 week appointment for blood tests, 20 weeks scan and mw appointment.

If all consultant appointments, then yes, that's over the top!

Congrats dizzy.

dizzydixies · 31/03/2010 13:09

Unsure she weighed me yesterday at my booking in appt but I told her what I was as I had weighed myself in the morning - I have been heavier with each pregnancy and managed - its not ideal but you'll be fine as long as you are eating sensibly and don't develop an addiction to magnum whites like I did

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 13:10

Sorry 2 yr old dd is curling up on my lap so spelling is awful.

I meant the midwife said to expect a lot of conversations about my weight throughtout this pregancy.

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 13:11

when is the scan with the consultant? before or after your 20 week scan?

so you have one MW and one scan appt...all usual

and then another scan & consultant appt?

and you think that is fuss and drama?

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 13:13

Yes I do.

My scan with consultant is 10 days after 20wk scan

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 13:16

well, why don't you call teh consultant and ask what the extra scan is for? if you are not then wanting to have it,. you can cancel

or you can cancel without finding out what it is for. but you are ,whether you like it or not, high rusk due to having a previous c.s

Original poster
UnsureWhatToDoNow · 31/03/2010 13:16

Seeing as that's all by the 8th June and I'm not due till Nov. 3rd.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 31/03/2010 13:17

Unsure I don't think its excessive tbh - it would be worse if you didn't feel they were providing you with sufficient care.

The consultant will be reviewing your scan/general health and having a chat re your delivery. The MW will be doing routine checks blood pressure etc etc and at some point you might having to have a glucose test for GD

I was in on a weekly/fortnightly basis which was a PITA with 2 other young children and a dying mother

Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 13:17

TBH, you sound quite defensive and worried you are going to be chastised re your weight etc.. and that is why you don't want the extra appointments

as i said, you can accept or decline any or all of your care, it is your informde choice to make

Lulumaam · 31/03/2010 13:18

you might not then see the consultant until 36 weeks after that...