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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want DH to buy a car with enough seats for all of our DC?

32 replies

poguemahone · 31/03/2010 01:12

We have 2 DC and will have our 3rd in a few weeks. DH currently has a 2-seater car, and wants to replace it with a convertible coupe with a tiny back seat, i.e. enough room for 2 DC at best. I think that he should get a car with room for all of us, that he's had an exciting car for years, and it's time to grow up a bit.

We do have a 'family' car that I drive: not a massive car but with the skinniest car-seats on the market we can fit 3 seats in the back.

The 2-seater has been an absolute pain, and DH knows it has to go. Not just because it's too small, but where we live we get harsh winters and it's useless on ice and snow.

I'm a SAHM, DH works. If DH needs my car for any reason, or my car's off the road, we're housebound as we live in small-town USA (no pavements or public transport).

AIBU? Should I go along with whatever car DH chooses since we will rarely need 5 seats? Or is a 4-seater just as impractical as a 2-seater?

OP posts:

BritFish · 31/03/2010 01:29

you need a 5 seater, as you will be a 5 person family. your DH is being abit ridiculous, definately time to grow up, you need a safe family car with lots of space. you need a good family car.
and he needs a good solid car incase you need to swap for whatever reason, and sensibel for your area!
dont just go along with what he wants, make practical decisions TOGETHER.

Original poster

poguemahone · 31/03/2010 01:37

Thanks BritFish - glad someone's up! We're having the talk about it tonight. In theory we should make the decision together but I expect a huff if I don't agree to the coupe.

OP posts:

echt · 31/03/2010 05:29

YANBU - he is.

SgtAngua · 31/03/2010 05:46

He is definately BU. He needs to realise that he is a father of three, not a single guy and buy a grown-ups car!

shakingmyfattybumbum · 31/03/2010 08:10

YANBU of course you need a car that fits all your family. He is stupid!!!

Northernlurker · 31/03/2010 08:12

yup - your dh is being an arse.

agasarecool · 31/03/2010 08:15

YANBU - I have a ford ka - will just about be able to get me and 3dc in - but i will still be able to get them in.... now to get a travel system that fits the boot.......

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 31/03/2010 08:25

Actually, if you have the family car why does he need one too? As long as he knows he can't borrow yours what's the problem.
We're about to have our 5th DC, I have the big silver bus, DH has a little Peugeot, no problems. However our DC are well spaced out, 17-due in May, so he never really needs to pick them all up at once if I'm working.

arabicabean · 31/03/2010 08:35

I don't actually see a problem with your husband having a 2-seater car.

I have one toddler and the 'family' car, a large estate. My husband has a 2-seater sports car, which we all can not travel in. This poses no problems. It is his 'fun' car and he uses public transport to get to work. I also love to drive it when he is at home looking after the child.

If either of our cars are in for anything, our respective car dealerships would arrange for courtesy cars.

saslou · 31/03/2010 09:07

agasarecool - I have a citymini pushchair. I think it does have a compatible car seat (Maxi cosi i think but I might be wrong). Anyway, the way it folds means that it does fit in a small car boot, but is still roomy when unfolded. Good if you will be using it for years.

To the op - your husband should get a car that fits your family. If he refuses I would refuse to lend him the other car in case you need to take your DC somewhere. What if they needed the doctor, for example?

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 09:11

I'm with Aribacabean. If you have a car which is a family car, what is the problem with him having a 2 seater? As you say if one of them is off the road you should get a courtesy car anyway.

I think it's a bit rude saying grow up tbh.

TennisFan · 31/03/2010 09:18

I am with Aribacbean and GetOrfMoiLand, you already have one family car - why on earth would you want 2.
When the time comes you can get a larger family car - and you can both share the fun car.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 09:51

OP should pick her arguments.

Give up grouching about the car and get annoyed about something which is a genuine grievance.

If he has had sports cars for years it is obvioulsy something he really likes - why should he give that up in some misguided mission to appear 'grown up'. Has the OP given up all frivolities? What would be the point of having two station wagons fgs.

2rebecca · 31/03/2010 09:52

Agree 1 family car should be enough, but I would insist I get to drive the fun car too.
I think 1 fun and 1 boring car is a good combination.
You should both be thinking of the cars as "our cars" though and both deciding what to get.

traceybath · 31/03/2010 09:54

We have 3 dc's and we have the 'family car' which fits us all in and I drive mostly.

Then DH has crappy/smaller car - no point for us running 2 big cars.

I know quite a few families where they have a sensible car and a sports car.

Rubyrubyruby · 31/03/2010 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VotingBlue · 31/03/2010 09:57

DH has a 2 seater too. He loves it. Dreamt about having it from being a boy. Worked hard for it and deserves it.

Yes, its probably a mid life crisis thing, and many would think he were a knob, but his car, his choice.

I have the big family car and we manage fine.

Sometimes life is too short to give up on those things that mean something to you.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/03/2010 09:59

Voting has said what I wanted to say, however worded it far better.

Presume OP's DP works hard, so why shouldn't he have something which is a perk. Would be a bit sad if we all had to alweays be practical in life.

traceybath · 31/03/2010 10:00

Yeap - what Voting and GOML said.

mrsfred · 31/03/2010 10:03

I can see both sides to this argument and DH and I had the same problem when we changed his last car.

His argument was that he only needed the car for the station and at weekends for rugby.

My point was that if the main family car needed work or a service it made sense to have a second car that we could at least fit car seats into if necessary.

We ended up with a compromise of one main family car plus a four-door 'sporty' car for his use. Now that our DD's are getting older, we find that we are quite often going in different directions at the weekend - different clubs and activities - so we are using his car more often than originally thought with the children.

LIZS · 31/03/2010 10:05

yanbu - surely he could look at sporty versions of cars for 5 ?

rubyrubyruby · 31/03/2010 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeLindt · 31/03/2010 10:38

How often does your DH need to use the family car?

If it is very rarely then YABU.

We have just one car. DH has been taking the bus to work for the past 18 months (and will continue to do so). Recently we bought a 2-seater sports car.

Like Voting's DH, he has wanted this car for years, he works hard and deserves to have something for himself. We can afford it so I am happy for him to have it.

And when the DC are in school, I can borrow it and whizz about the countryside in it.

MrsJohnDeere · 31/03/2010 10:42

We had a brief phase of owning a 2 seater sports car (family of 2 adults, 2 dcs). Dh wanted to indulge his desire for a 'fun' car.

He soon came to realise that the inconvenience factor far outweighed the fun side of things. If I took the dog out in our other car at weekends (big estate) he was stuck at home with the dcs and couldn't go anywhere. If the car needed to go the garage we couldn't go in convoy and give him a lift. Little things like that niggled, and he sold it after a few months.

(Then he went too far the other way and bought another estate car, as if we'd ever need 2 at once. Now trying to sell that to buy a small 5 door car).

rubyrubyruby · 31/03/2010 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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