to be annoyed at DD's friend/mother??

[macdoodle]

DD1's friend, supposed to come swimming with us tomorrow and then sleep over.
DD1 has been so excited, and her mum just texted me to cancel...........again, she lets her down last minute a lot (cancelled coming to her small birthday party last year a few hours before)!!
I'm cross, DD1 very disappointed, and I can't quite figure out if it's the friend, or the parents, we used to get on quite well and had a few dinners/coffees there but they seem to be blanking me a bit recently !!
Annoyed , they're 8 (almost 9), old enough IMO if they promise to do something to bloody do it!!
It's really the only day/night we have free this holiday to have a friend over so probably too late to see if someone else can come

That does suck. Could you perhaps ring her up and find out if it's their child maybe changing her mind or feeling like she doesn't want to go - maybe there's something going on between your kids (i remember not wanting to go to best friend's house because I felt awkward that I couldn't eat the food they had - they were indian and the curries were always too spicy - but felt embarrassed to say anything so made up excuses)? If it's her that has a problem rather than her daughter than you might get a sense of that during the conversation. Anyway I think you've every right to point out how disappointed your DD was and find out what's going on.

I think if she has a history of letting your DD down at the last minute, the best thing you can do for your DD is to chat to her about not bothering to make these arrangements with this girl in the future. Encourage her to choose someone else next time. Otherwise you're just setting her up for more disappointment. No point in flogging a dead horse; they're unreliable, you can't make them reliable.

Thanks, I did wonder whether I am over reacting because my DD1 is disappointed, I wouldn't let my DD change her mind and let someone down last minute!
BUT I am aware that my DD1 is pretty confiednt and out going and not fased by most things so easy for me to say!

This friend is very quiet and (I think) a bit coddled, though the eldest of 3 and a 4th on the way!
Her and DD1 are very good friends, and she is probably her best friend in school, but we see very little of them out of school, they keep to themselves a lot!

She has slept over here once before, and the mum seemed much more anxious than the girl to me, she kept calling and texting saying they would come get her if she wanted to come home whatever time it was..........the child was absolutely fine!!

Yes cirrhosis, my thoughts exactly, but DD1 had been asking and asking to have her over, so I set this up a few weeks ago and all seemed ok, until 10pm tonight
I am very much afraid I won't ask again!

At nine yrs old the mum's ringing you up anxious about a sleepover??! My DS does them all the time and he's 4! He's never freaked out and neither have I!