to ask DH to tidy up the house when Im working

[MarillionMum]

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YANBU - Same as you I work he doesn't. Am contemplating getting a cleaner to save me having to do it myself.

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Is he really busy looking after the DCs on half term holiday?

Loads of SAHMS start threads complaining their DH/DP comes home demanding to know why they have not done more while he is out at work. They usually get sympathy on here.

Just asking.

I don't know about all of that, but picking up clothes really doesn't take that long at all. I get my DS to help me put the washing on, to help me tidy up his toys, etc. No, the hoovering doesn't get done, or the washing up etc., but if there is really nothing being done in the house you need to pull a face, because he's pulling a fast one.

How old are your DC btw? Because that will have a lot to do with how much sympathy you get!

I have to say that I am a SAHM, and DH works. We share the household duties and childcare duties, although I take care of the children during the day, as obviously he cannot. And I do what household duties I can during the day while taking care of a 3yo and an 8 month old. Obviously, some days are better than others by way of household stuff. But yes, there are days when I simply don't get much done.

DH doesn't complain about it, he pitches in and we get it done together. He realises that the children come first, and the dishes and laundry and general cleaning are taken care of in and around the children's needs.

Well, it rather depends on if he's been busy with the kids, out for the day or just sat on his arse watching JK.

I'm sure, no matter what else he's had on though, he could pick yesterdays clothes up. However, you might find it easier just to put a laundry box somewhere more convenient so the clothes go straight in it... and once they are walking they are old enough to put their own clothes in it!

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MM: it depends what he does do - in general. DOes he play with the DC, take them out, feed them? If he's not working, is he jobhunting or have the two of you agreed that he will be the at-home parent for the time being? TBH is it a lot more important to engage with DC than to do housework, housework is tedious shitwork that should be kept to the bare minimum necessary in order to have food, clean plates and clean underwear. However if the DC are at school all day and when they come home he parks them in front of the telly and carries on playing computer games and basically does nothing, then why are you keeping him? Is he good enough in bed to be kept as a pet?

I often get little to no housework done on my days home with my daughter, because she's going through massive separation anxiety (16 months, just walking) and whines and clings to my leg if I do anything except play with her (unless we're out of the house, where she's perfectly fine ) and she's a horrible napper. But as soon as my husband comes home I hand her over and go do some housework. And I do at least manage some of the things she can join in with like hanging out laundry and some tidying.

He manages about the same, or a little more, on his days with her, because she's not as clingy with him and he has a higher tolerance for the whining if he ignores her a bit.

But the house tidied, dishes done, and kids ready for bed, is quite a lot to accomplish unless she's in a particularly independent mood that day.