or is there no such thing as courtesy any more?

[MrsHormonal]

i feel like an old woman moaning, i'm quite young so don't actually remember a time when there was courtesy, manners or generally just being a half decent human being. however being pregnant has really opened my eyes, i think i probably belong in the 50s. no one opens doors for anyone else, no one (especially women!) puts their hand up to say thanks thanks in the car, people walk into you on the street, no one offers you a seat on the bus, people expect you to walk in the road to go round them, people you know will watch you struggle with heavy shopping all whilst having a huge bump.
today in the library i found myself desperate for a wee and asked very embarrassed if i could use thier toilet as the public toilets are locked and the nearest one is the other side of town. no the girl says, you have to waddle to the other side of town absolutely desperate you can't use our toilet here. ffs have a bit of compassion you might find yourself caught short when heavily pg one day!

We were in town today, 7 month bump and three children in tow, I'd ordered my food and was waiting for a table in a well known quite posh store.
So DD's and I spot one and go and stand next to it, waiting for the people to collect their belongings when along comes two 50+ people and start putting down their coats on the chairs whilst the other people are still there. Not been to order yet
I polietly pointed out I'd ordered my hot food so did they mind If I had the table. Was told yes she did effing mind in front of my 5,7 and 9 year old and refused to move.
The staff and I were speechless, what does that say to my DD's they need to kick the older generation out the way to stand a chance of getting their tea.

"manners and courtesy should be on the national curriculum "

Please say you are joking - it's the responsibility of parents to raise a child appropriately. No wonder the schools can't teach children to read and write, they're too busy teaching them how to exist in society to actually educate them

I don't need anyone to open car doors for me, people always wave to thank me in cars, and when I was pg used any loo I asked to use and got waved to the front of a long queue more than once.

but YANBU to be frazzled if you are pg!

oh yes - i used to work in a little kiosk coffe place, it had a loo but not for the public. It was outside a shopping centre and we had to direct people into the shopping centre for the loo. People could see it was a toilet as the door opened to the service area but it also doubled as a staff cloakroom. We used to let regulars use it and would have let a pg woman or person in a wheelchair use it but everytime we let the public in we were risking someone stealing staff's belongings. Thankfully it never happened but maybe their loo was not secured and they didn't want to let you in because of that - you don't know. Wasn't there a cafe or pub nearby?

Lack of manners really pisses me off! I tend to find that older people are the worst. I have moved out of the way for many an elderly person and not even had a grunt, they are also the ones that push in the queue.

We live by a busy main road and have to cross it everyday for school (no crossing) guess how many people let us across in the pouring rain? Hardly any. The ones that never stop are older women. To me it is not a big deal to let us cross, it would take us 5 seconds.

I have learnt not to judge young people as they always surprised me by saying thanks.
And I am also ones of those that shouts 'you're welcome'.

I agree that parents should teach manners from a very young age. I would also like to think that the school is making sure she is polite too and letting her know if she is being rude. I know my daughters school are very strict on manners.
She got a certificate at the end of this term for her courtecy, I was so proud of her! She's only 5 bless her.

I am a stickler for manners too. In my line of work I meet lots of children and rarely hear a 'thankyou'! On the rare occasion I do hear it I give the child an extra prize for good manners!

YANBU - There is very little common courtesy/manners these days. It is very sad.

There are no manners it seems these days.

It did make me smile though when i took my 14 month old ds to dds music class and the teacher gave him a plastic shaker to hold and he muttered "thank you"

@Ducky and OTTMummA - I hear you! I also say 'you're welcome' when people don't say thanks, esp when holding doors open. One of these days I'm going to get punched, but it's worth it for pissing off rude people.

I always harponat teach the kids in my class to say their pleases thank yous etc. So much so that when the head asked each child to state what they thought their teacher would like a new child in their class to be like, all of my class said good mannered.
YANBU I hate hate hate bad manners. Do pick strangers up on their lack of manners too.

Sorry can't get the hang of this striking out thing! *harp on at

People around here nearly always hold doors open for each other, I truly appreciate it, having lived in many places where it's not the 'norm'. Bad manners are less common than good.

I find that little things like (un?)common courtesies really do make the difference to my day!

I teach my children to understand, appreciate and use good manners, school backs it up with similar expectations and an emphasis on community spirit.

I can't stand rudeness and I can't stand anyone behaving more brattishly than me.

MrsH, YANBU! The library were being mean, stuff H&S. Inadvertently peeing on their floor would have created a whole plethora of H&S issues for one thing!

muttering "fuckers" at people who do not say thank you sounds a very stressful way to be polite. Why the need to be rude to people who you don't consider to be polite enough? I love good manners in both myself and my DS (4), I'm not sure how swearing at people adds to the summ total of the worlds politeness!

Manners cost nothing....

..unless you are flying on EasyJet/Ryanair..

manners are so very important, and it's our job as parents to teach our DC good manners.

If older people etc are rude, call them out on it, say Thank You! or Please! pointedly, every time.

DS (4) has been known to say, ooh that lady didn't say thank you, that was a bit rude wasn't it mummy...

People laughed at me b/c I started teaching DS to say "please", "thank you", and "excuse me" as soon as he could speak, but threads like this make me glad I did. He may be a tantrumy little thing now, but by God he's got manners!

I have also found that the older generation tend to be the most lacking in manners. MIL once told me that you get to an age when you don't care about being polite anymore! She was talking about complaining about things but since then I've noticed that she's also quite rude!

I also say "You're welcome" or "Don't mention it" when I feel aggrieved by bad manners...I do think that people have much more sense of entitlement and their "rights" nowadays, without any thought to the responsibilities that being part of 'society' entails.

I am fed up with people barging through or looking me in the eye and then not saying thank you when I stand, 8 months pg with three children, holding a door open. In those circumstances, I say very loudly - "Now children, that is an example of very bad manners - what would you have said?" .

One of my earliest memories, is my gorgeous late grandfather who was very old school English, bellowing at my brother and me "Age before beauty" before we hurtled through a door in front of my grandmother!!

People constantly comment on my children's good manners - it costs nothing and makes life that little bit easier for everyone else.