...or am I a prude?

[CoffeeMum]

We were in our local shopping centre in London today, and the fairly new Ann Summers shop was promoting 'free lube with every toy'. The reason I knew this was because the statement was signed across the shop windows - the letters of 'free lube' were around 30cm high and pretty obvious to read.

Now, my two kids are far too young to even read, but am i being prudish to think that if your child was old enough, you wouldn't necessarily want to hear the question 'Mummy, what's lube?' while out shopping on a Sunday lunchtime.

Or am i just very old fashioned, and is it totally fine to explain to say, a five year old, what lube is, if/when he/she asks? It's a bit different from giving a basic explanation of say, how babies are made isn't it?

Genuinely curious, honestly! I'm pretty laid back really, but have to admit this did shock me a bit.

I think most children (even my 11 year old) when told "it's short for lubricant" would then not bother enquiring further.

Dazzle 'em with the truth

yanbu - I don't like shortened versions of words appearing in shop windows.

im not sure if prude or not but it really doesn't bother me or worry me about my son asking as i would just change subject or just tell some fib he is exposed to enough anyway listening to some of the teens talk that we have to pass every day i would rather have whats lube to what comes out of there mouths

I'm a prude too. I wouldn't like it either.

It is a shame that our society is sex sex and more sex. Are we nothing more than rutting beasts?

Look at music videos - just porn. If they're wearing more than a thong they're conservatively dressed.
Adverts - whatever they're selling, they're using sex to sell it. What next? A woman masturbating with a tin of beans and the slogan "Heinz...totally satisfying"
Everything is described as sexy. official documents are sexed up.
porn magazines above thomas the tank engine just to make sure that our children grow up seeing that ogling over half naked women is totally ok and fun.
porn has given everyone the idea that a woman must have a vagina like a 5 yr old in order to be attractive.

Going to stop now since my husband has just said "Are you ok? You sound like you are demolishing that keyboard!"

There's a slight chance I may have got onto one of my ranty subjects.

TwoPence christ, you're right, don't know why i'm fixating on this sign - it's just the tip of an iceberg isn't it really? Blimey, all the things you mention do bother me too now that i think about it. Hmmm, surely not prudish not to want porno mags on full view in newsagents?

Maybe i will have to be a prude and proud of it...

Bubblagirl oh yes, quite sure i could fob child off if i had to, but suppose would rather not have to be put in that position really.

Thanks for replies all

No, I don't think you're being a prude. I'm fed up of having to explain these kind of things to my children - let them be kids, fgs. We seem to be obsessed with sex, but healthy, responsible relationships feature much lower down the scale, which really saddens me. I've always been open and honest with the kids, and answer any question they throw at me but when I have to explain what the pink thing that the lady is waving about on the train is (hen weekend, vibrator, afternoon train ) or why 2 naked women are snogging on the cover of a magazine in our local newsagents, I get pretty narked. It seems like anything goes - and it shouldn't.

I think i'd raise this with trading standards and get their advice. I am totally for open-ness with children but that does not mean that anything goes, as maisie says. There should still be an expectation that we can go about our daily business with our children without them being faced by this sort of low-rent totally vulgar advert.

I'd complain to the shop too.

But then I do like to make my point! Thing is, if nobody speaks up against, it gives people the excuse to say "it must be ok, because no one has complained".

No, you're not being a prude. My lips are pursing just thinking about it.

Well....this is a tough one...I would laugh and then quickly turn my LO's in another direction so that I didn't have to explain. Not because I have a problem with it, but because I as a mother still do not have my head wrapped around explaining anything about sexuality to my DD.

I could see how this would upset people but sex is normal and natural, that's how all of us are on here, cause we have had it and we are mummies.

I'm with you. There is a time and place for everything.

Why would they ask about lube anymore than hair removal cream or vitamin tablets. It's just a product.

I expect children might ask about a product that comes free with toys. Children also do ask in general what words mean if they are not familiar with them.

Our local Ann Summers Shop (!) has a huge hanging picture of a 6 foot dildo behind the mannequins.

Its horrendous

They are unlikely to ask you what lube is, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate to be in the window. Ann Summers skates close to the wind sometimes IMO.

I always tell the girls the absolute truth no matter how sticky (oops bad choice of word under the circumstance!)the question may be as I want them to grow up to be well informed and not confused.
Which means that yes I'd agree! Because if they saw it they would ask me what it meant and I would have to tell them... eek!

This has also gone a bit in to the realms of a debate about porn being available for very young children to see which is one of my rant subjects too... Im definitely not a prude, quite the opposite actually and if it was magazines or pictures of real people snogging/having sex etc it would hardly bother me at all. But having our kids growing up thinking that sex is something that only women with - Quote - a vagina like a 5 year old should be involved in is Wrong wrong wrong.

It could be worse they could be advertising ann summers (not very descreetly) in your local soft play area like they do/did here. Not been back since as seeing half naked women on a plasma is not what i want to see when i take my dd to play. I did make a complaint about it but heard nothing back so have not returned

I would march into the shope and demand the sales person esplained to my DC exactly what it was.

Not really, but I'd be tempted.

I'd explain the dictionary definition of lubrication.

I've no idea if you are a prude or not, as I am becoming more prudish each day.

cyb and starshaker - your stories are awful! Maybe Ann Summers really are pushng their luck as kat suggests...hmm, didn't realise they were being so edgy.

Thing is, i have no problem with a high street sex shop in principle. I feel i will be open with my DC when issues come up. I would feel okay explaining sex, gayness, porn, how babies are made, etc etc to even a very young child - you can use broad strokes, and be quite general without lying or misleading. I too want my DC to be well informed and open minded. I would welcome condoms being advertised before the watershed, for example.

But i dunno, i just don't see how you could explain lube accurately, on any level, without getting to a level of detail that just wouldn't be appropriate until the kid was well into teenage years.

LynetteScavo - loving your idea! Was tempted to go into the store, but at the end of the day, want to raise the issue with the decision makers at the top rather than the person basically doing their job.

Thanks all, glad i'm not a lone [non]prude voice

Actually starshaker - hilarious to think any woman who has to frequent soft play would ever be up for Ann Summers-inspired shenanigans EVER at the end of the day!!!

cyb I didn't think they were allowed to show dildos in the window?!

Yanbu [cat's bum mouth emoticon]

well they do! its really charming

I have to say i do enjoy ann summers partys (love their pjs) but dont want to see it advertised in kids play areas, its just wrong.

JustMyTwoPenceWorth said:

porn has given everyone the idea that a woman must have a vagina like a 5 yr old in order to be attractive.

That is quite possibly the sickest thing I have ever heard...

Also Thomas the Tank Engine is quite steamy..!