To not take my nephew

[lazylion]

My sister is furious with me because I told her I can't take her son (aged 11) out. My dad is coming to visit and I planned on taking him somewhere on the bus with my three DC(oldest is 4, youngest 6 months). I have been looking after her son for a few days after school and I find it incredibly difficult, I'm only just coping as it is with my 3 and my dad will be next to useless. Imagining taking them all out and keeping them safe in the city makes me go cold with horror. My nephew is often rough with my DSs and ignores me(my sister doesn't believe me on this one), and my DSs get overexcited and stop listening to me too.
My dad will be here for 2 days so it is not like I'm monopolising him. Am I being pathetic?

No, you are ensuring all the children are kept safe, and yourself sane by knowing your limits.

YANBU

why can't you sister come with when you take him out ?

if he is also hard work, rought with your DCs and does not listen then you should not have to take him out for the day with 3 under 5s !

YANBU. Your sister will just have to get over it, it's her problem, not yours. Enjoy your trip out .

He's her kid

Thanks, that makes me feel better. My sister is ill so can't go out.

YANBU. Jeez, it's a day out. Why should you be expected to provide entertainment for your sister's child just because she wants you to? You've already been doing her a favour by babysitting him like that.

Is he a pfb/only child by any chance? My late aunt, as lovely as she was, was also a bit in denial about how obnoxious my cousin could be at times - a fact he was patently aware of.

Yes pfb, only child & brought up on what she thinks of as liberal parenting. She doesn't see his behaviour problems at all.

I cannot abide people who think their undisciplined kids are no bother/a joy for the rest of the world to be around

No, I don't think you are being pathetic. You are under no obligation to take him with you. Your sister may not see his problems, but if they are likely to affect you it is not unreasonable to say so. It is her choice whether to believe you or not, but perhaps the boy knowing that he cannot go with you because of his behaviour might make him think twice - or at least know that he has to behave for you in future!