To feel hurt and let down by a friend

[uggmum]

In October I became ill, I was unwell at home for 3 weeks and became really ill. Eventually my Doctor came & called an ambulance and I was in hospital for 3 weeks with a serious infection. Since then I have had an operation and recovered. I have one particular friend who always professes to be my best friend, I would do anything for her. However, she did not visit me in hospital at all, she called a few times but thats about it. she cited that she was so busy she "didnt have time to wipe her own arse"
You really find out who your friends are when the chips are down.
Since then I have really struggled to maintain our friendship, I am usually a really forgiving person but this has really hurt my feelings I just can't get past it. I don't want to confront her as she can be a bit aggressive/direct (verbally). Our dcs are in the same class at school and I don't want an atmosphere at the school gate
I find that its on my mind alot and makes me really angry, I usually rant a bit and eventually calm down. I feel stuck in this friendship but the bottom line is I am upset.
Any Advice ?

Drama Queen, I don't bloody think so. I' m extremely low maintenance and I am Not an attention seeker.
I have always gone out of my way to help her. if anything she has always taken advantage of me but I make allowances as I don't like confrontation.
If anything I downplayed my illness and I was in denial a wee bit. However, when I was eventually diagnosed with Septicemia I would have expected more.

It's good you expected more, it means you know you're worth more than what she can or will give. Now there's space in your life for real friends.

aww Lunatic

OP its always hard when friendships fade/die

I'd be inclined to be a bit passive agressive here. i.e. be nice as pie, smile when you see her but avoid social occaisons, ignore texts, in a way that she gets the message. then, if she asks you can say that given whats hapended you dont think she is a true friend, if she does not say anything, let it fade away.....

thats really shite advice but its what Id do!!!!

So sorry for your loss love.

I had BF 30 years, lived beside each other when we were kids, went to school together and remained friends into mid 30's, met a seperated man, got pregnant with dd now 3.8. Was told by her that she could longer be my friend as I was " compromising her status " . Years on things not so good for her now and she looking for friendship back. Dont think so. Fall outs between friends are sometimes very difficult and painful but you do move on and get over it ... Not been her friend is the best thing that ever happened to me. She was a bully, I stood up to her by accepting. Can see now that she was never a friend.

i know how you feel and it is a bit of a sad realisation that your friend isn't what you thought she was.

have very recently had a similar situation where i have supported a friend through a tough time and she has gone on to lie and throw it all back in my face. i am more sad that she has believed a blatant liar (which he was/has proven to be on several occasions) over her closest friend - ie I was right all along (gloat).

i don't like confrontation either so am distancing myself a hell of a lot, but if she pushes me further, i will be telling her to her face what i think.

OP - just gradually distance yourself and move on from her. Try not to let the distancing be noticeable so that you can avoid a confrontation.

Your DCs being in the same class - this means you have to remain civil etc. Are these children particularly friendly with eachother or are they just in the same class.

People who "don't do" hospitals can do plenty of other things to help. So I don't think that can be an excuse to her. Also, if she was hospital phobic, I would expect her to admit this so that I could forgive her for what appeared to be "not bothering".