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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish this mother would....

20 replies

prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 15:47

.....blxxdy well keep her thoughts to herself.

It was my sons first assembly at school today. He had a speaking part which we have been rehearsing for weeks and we were both really looking forwards to it.

I am fortunate in that most of the time I can be flexible thanks to self employment, so I attend almost everything and help out at events etc however when certain issues come up I have to drop everything and just go to work - which is the trade off for having a high enough income to be at home most of the time. Unfortunately one of those incidences was today. I was utterly gutted but I am the sole breadwinner fora family of four and cannot afford to loose business or clients so had to go to work feeling thoroughly wretched.

Fast forward to this afternoon and the first thing this mother informs me (and I liked her up till today) was how awful it was I wasnt there as my son was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset and looking everywhere for me and how brilliant he was (that I could believe but stil..) I thought at first she was maybe being a bit unwittingly tactless so asked her to stop now as I felt bad enough but she still continued with OH I so wish I could give him a hug as he was SOOOOOOOOOOOO upset and SOOOOO good. FFS I COULDNT BE THERE. I wasnt sitting at home eating tea and toast, I was at work paying my bills and I already felt shxxt so just mind your own. I didnt say too much to be honest, just sort of mutter in assent when she said about it being too be with my baby but seriously I wish I had said something now.

DS is fine about it and everyone said how good he was, one mum even said she would mail me the film of it but I just feel like crying. I cant win and sometimes I really wish other people would just mind their own business. Not everyone can be there for morning/daytime performances and its not nice to miss them when you know how much your kids want you there so dont blxxxy rub it in.

Rant over.

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 26/03/2010 15:49

YANBU to wish the woman had shut up, but sometimes people don't understand that you genuinely can't be there when you'd like to be. Insensitive moo.

YABU to put little x's in your swearwords. This is MN. Swear properly please!

Pikelit · 26/03/2010 15:50

If motherhood taught me anything, it was to avoid stupid remarks by people quite unqualified to make them. Don't waste tears on them.

prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 15:51

ah fuck it I forget we are going all blunt these days - I still remember a flaming I got in the early days for say shit in a post.

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 15:52

sing thanks Pike.

OP posts:
FabIsGettingThere · 26/03/2010 15:53

YANBU

Why do people think saying something like this is helpful?

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/03/2010 15:54

Was he really that upset? I bet she was overegging it. Some people like to make you feel shit, it makes them feel better.

Hassled · 26/03/2010 15:55

There will be some sort of karma, don't worry. There will be a time when she misses something important for a very good reason and she'll think of today and feel like a cow.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 26/03/2010 15:55
prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 15:56

brahms he doesnt seem it tbh but I have seen him at school shows before and he is always the kid waving and looking for me so I can imagine he was disappointed at the time.

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FabIsGettingThere · 26/03/2010 15:58

Get him to do his bit for you at home now..

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/03/2010 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hassled · 26/03/2010 15:59

And I bet she wouldn't have gone on and on like that to any absent fathers. DH has missed tons of school stuff - no one's ever mentioned it because it's fine if you're a father.

Hassled · 26/03/2010 16:00

There was meant to be a at the end of my post

prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 16:00

I think thats a lovely idea Stewie - fab I made him do it in the car on the way home whilst cheering , I think it helped .

OP posts:
DinahRod · 26/03/2010 16:04

Get the video off the nice parent and have a 'screening' with popcorn at home. Ds will love it.

Ignore daft bint.

thumbwitch · 26/03/2010 16:10

she is a mean unthinking caaaah and yanbu to be upset by her thoughtlessness. But in the end, how DS feels is the most important thing and if he is ok and understands that you couldn't be there then mean unthinking caaaahs can be forgotten.

hope the video turns out to be good!

(and glad you've remembered how to swear proper, innit!)

FabIsGettingThere · 26/03/2010 16:19

the fact that you are ALWAYS there will help him realise that you really had no choice in not being there today.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/03/2010 16:20

How old is he?

stealthsquiggle · 26/03/2010 16:21

You'll get used to it . Other people can be so tactless.

Tip for the future should it happen again - find a friendly mother and get them to agree to wave (taking photos is even better if they can) - and then tell DS "X's mother is going to watch for me and has promised to tell me all about it" - that way DS feels someone is there for him - it's a trick which has worked for me (and I have done it for other people).

prettyfly1 · 26/03/2010 16:32

stealth that is a good idea. He is nearly five brahms.

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