so a little background.
Mum and Dad were married for 20 years, together for 25.
Dad died 5 years ago, and my mum had a complete mental and emotional breakdown, 3 weeks after Dad died, and partly due to Dads family beating the living daylights out of mum, to the point she was admitted to IDU
Mum then got with Dad BF, 4 weeks after Dad died, and they have been in a relationship since
Dads BF is a alcoholic (as was Dad, which was what killed him) Ive never liked this man, due to the reason I feel he took disadvantage of mums mental state, and that he does not work to provide my mum with a decent standard of living (mum has manic depression, so maintaining a job is difficult, but she does volunteer in charity shops etc.. when she is mentally stable.
So in the past 5 years, mum has put us through hell with her mental state, some behaviour is knowingly being done by her craving and me, me me, attitude/attention, and in the past 5 years she has caused alot of animosity in the immediate family and some family has rightfully washed their hands with her, some of mums outbursts are accusing people of sexually abusing her when she was a child, uncle abusing her on a outing, Dads father abusing her, her own father abusing her etc... drunken deplorable outbursts, trying to kill repeatedly etc.. and some not just a "call" for help
Anyway yesterday I got a telephone call, to say she loves me and that she will see me in the next world and with me trying religiously to find out what the matter was,
I found out she is now living with BF Dad, BF is ALWAYS drunk, they are having relationship issues etc... having a massive fallout with my sister, where mum was very drunk and in mums mind, telling my sister a few home truths and sister getting angry to the point she had to push my mum out the way due to mum backing her into a corner, and now mum saying sister hit her!
In all the 5 years since Dad passing, mum has NEVER been left alone or to grieve in her own way.
I want mum to come here to get away from her "normal" life and think on her own accord and be free from daily worries for a week/or to her wishes.
I dont want her arsehole to come with her, I dislike him, he is disrespectful and not good enough for my mum, who needs real support, not more issues on top of her already fragile mind.
But family says IABU, to just ask mum and not both.