to not allow my 10yr old dd (Y5) to go to the cinema alone with a gang of friends?

[plonker]

Dh thinks IABU and that we should let her go. I think that at just turned 10 she is too young to go alone.

...and before I get accused of doing AIBU by stealth, I will add that the group that have asked her to go aren't necessarily her friends - they are (in her words) the "cool" kids, and are much more streetwise than she is. They're a lively bunch (and at the risk of sounding judgemental, I wouldn't be surprised if at some point they were asked to leave) and dd is friends with one of the children because she is afraid of her

So, over to the mn jury - am I being unreasonable?

Not unreasonable at all, 10 is far too young to go anywhere beyond the local shop in my opinion

YANBU. If you don't feel she's ready, and that the group of friends are unsuitable then don't let her go.

My 12 year old DS asked me if he could go to Camden this weekend. (I live in Kent) After I wiped my eyes and wiped up the wee on the floor, I firmly told him "No."

YANBU I wouldn't let her go at that age either.

YANBU - we live in a pretty, leafy, quiet little village, 3 pubs, a church, a general store, post office etc..... However, we have an alarming number of murders! No, it's not Midsummer!!!

No way I'd let my DD 11 go out on her own, even to the shop!!

No way would I let my child go. Yanbu.

I would allow my 10 year olds to go into the cinema without an adult if I dropped them off there. If they got kicked out I would be very cross with them. They are not quite ready to travel to our nearest cinema alone, however. It's a bit too far away and there are some very busy roads to negotiate. If I felt that they were afraid of the other children and secretly wanted me to forbid it I would try and rise to the occasion and say no, though, so I don't think you are being unreasonable if you really think she doesn't want to go.

lol at 'can I go to Camden?'. Bless him for asking

It really does depend upon the child. For my dd just turned 10 would be too young. However, in the summer hols between year 5 and 6 was when she started to have freedom. Iused to let her go to the shops, or go out and play with friends in an agreed area.

Year 6 was when she had a lot more freedom - let her go into the town on the bus, allowed her to go to cinema, go to the park.

It is very much an individual thing. I think it is best approached gradually. I remember when I first left her on her own in the house (11) I had kittens and phone her up every 10 minutes to make sure she hadn't hurt herself. Same as when she first went out without me.

But is good to let that umbilical cord stretch a bit. But only you know your own child - some kids are 'old' enough to do things at 10, some aren't. Don't think there are any hard or fast rules.

Don't know if it helps but I used to go to Saturday Morning Pictures every week on my own from the age of about 8. It was walking distance from our house (about 10 mins max) and I would meet friends there. Loved the freedom and responsibility. Would let mine go too. If it were too far, I would drop them off / collect.

I have told her I will reconsider next yr when she is in Y6 - there is a world of difference IMO and I will let her gradually have more independance in preperation for High School.

Skegness - no, it isn't that - she really really really wants to go ...but for the wrong reasons IMHO. She wants to be one of the "cool" kids and is disgusted that I won't let her go.

Apparantly I'm the only parent to say no
I know this definitely isn't true because I've spoken to two other parents who have also said no, but I'm certainly very 'uncool' in my dd's eyes!

Vivian - no, maybe next yr if she goes with a sensible friend and I drop her off and pick her up - but not this yr, I just feel she's too young.