to refuse to sympathise when DH begins with "it was on the floor for ages"

[assumetheposition]

Arrgh DH can never find anything and is always blaming me. He leaves things lying around all over the place and, whenever he can't find anything, he blames me for throwing it or tidying it away.

Normally there is about 10 minutes of shouting and banging cupboard doors, whereupon I usually find it within a minute or 2 because it's 6 inches from where I told him it was.

Last night he was looking for the instruction manual for his bluetooth. After much huffing and puffing that I wouldn't help him look for it he claimed 'it was on the living room floor for ages and now it's not there'

I ignored him.

grrrrr

maybe you should serve dinner on the floor and put his clean laundry straight on the floor maybe put a fake piece of poo on the floor.

I was always bought up believing the only things that should be touching the floor are feet.
furniture feet, human feet, and dog/cat feet.
paperwork should be kept in a designated draw where you know you can trust to find any instruction manuals.

I can't believe your DH is moaning about you tidiying. classic.

No you are def, NBU.

Your DH sounds like mine he doesn't 'believe' in cupboards or drawers and always looks surprised when something is" Found" in a drawer.

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!

YANBU - finding whatever it is they've lost is just not inbuilt with some men (I said some for those of you reading this and in actual fact, the ones I know). They have either a rubbish memory so can't think where THEY left it, can't multi-task so thinking and looking is a no no or they have no common sense and fully expect to find their golf clubs, or whatever, in the bath!!!! Or will they?

Sounds like our house. YANBU

Sounds exactly like our house too, my DP leaves keys/mobile phone/charger all over the place and cannot find them if there is even a tissue or piece of paper sittin on top of them, i despair! He once phoned my place of work, i was busy & he ended up chatting with the other (female) member of staff and actually got her involved in trying to help him find his keys?!? I really don't know how he manages at work

I don't either .

The bit I don't get is when he claims he has filed a certain piece of paper away and now it's not there.

As if I spend my days rifling through his drawers throwing out every 3rd thing .

Unfortunately it's a fact of life that men can't look fo things, life's too short to get up about it, just hand him 'lost thing' and get on with life.

Yes my DH does this to.

Puts nothing away then complains when it gets moved and he can't find it

My DH genuinely seems to believe that finding his lost wallet (it was on the kitchen table) was some kind of parapsychic experience. I mean quite literally, he wouldn't stop talking about how extraordinary it was to find his lost wallet, and how spooky it was.

People all over the world find lost things daily, DH dear.

Sounds like me!

Yes, if something isn´t where they left it,someone else must have moved it.
It´s never that they left it in a different place.

I fear it is hereditary-son is as cräp at looking for things as his father.

I don´t get involved anymore.

its not a fact of life that men cant find things at all

some men are just twits about looking properly ot putting things away properly

Yes-mine used to not look properly & like a twit, I would look for them.

I now leave them to it whist making encouraging noises from the sidelines.

If I don't have an interest in the item - like needing to know why the car keys aren't in the place they live because I'm about to drive it somewhere - then I remain uninterested. Over the years (and partners) I've got sick to death of watching men deliberately make their lives difficult when seriously simple alternatives exist. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that it is some sort of need reinforcement technique. For sure, the chronic mislayers are rarely bothered on the rare occasions you can't find your own stuff.

I did once go on holiday with DH, DSiL, and DMiL, at which point I realised exactly why he expects me to find lost things for him. (I don't, by the way. I'm not interested in things he's lost. I don't even bother looking for things I've lost.) Those of you with sons, NEVER look for things for them.

I feel your pain. MY DH does this.

Dh refers to me putting things away as "hiding things"

YANBU

DH is the same in all respects.

Like Vivian's key pot, we have a drawer right by the front door conveniently placed so that you can drop your house and doors keys into it as soon as you enter the house. IT COULD NOT BE ANY EASIER! But still he puts his keys down in random places and then tantrums when he can't find them.
After 25 years, I just do not get involved.

DH once phoned his mobile in order to track it down because he "couldn't find it anywhere"... and it rang in his trouser pocket!

I am PMSL at the "paraphysical experience"

its a well known and acknowledged phenomenon in our house. its called "man looking". Not only is he careless enough to lose things (keys, wallet, glasses, ipod, phone)on a daily basis, DP he also is incapable of looking properly - phone was once "lost, gone, have to go and get a new one" when actually I lifted up the jeans lying on the bed and presto! I wouldn't mind but he actually really does lose them sometimes cos he loses them when he is out and about and I am not with him and then the item (usually expensive and hassley to replace) really is lost. He has also lost things of mine he has borrowed and can't grasp the concept of apologies and / or replacing it. But otherwise he's lovely!!

OH MY God are all men like it???

It seems that they are!!!

say for example my DH has lost his phone, its on the computer dest next to a pile of paper work. he will pick up the paper work and put it ON TOP of the missing phone , completly oblivious to the fact it was there when hes looking right at it!!! then when he rings it and he finds it 'but i looked there'

obviously you didnt!

it's a standing joke in our house that I ask DH if he's had "a man's look or a proper look?"! Needless to say I usually find said item (that he's been searching for for ages...) in about 10 seconds...

It's genetic I'm convinced, definitely faulty DNA on the Y chromosome

We had a huge row once over a £60 multimeter.
IL's were staying and DH opened by accusing me of throwing it out as 'it wasn't where I left it?'
Where did you leave it?
Can't remember.

So we search the house. It's not there.
Is it in the garage? I ask, fairly reasonably.
No, apparently it can't be in the garage as he woudl have seen it and I HAVE THROWN IT OUT.

Off he goes to work in a strop. I go into the garden and there, in the window of the garage is a fricking multimeter.
I took a photo on my phone, texted it to him AND showed it to IL's
Strangely nothing more was ever said.

Now when he has lost something and starts grumping I just say 'if you want me to find it ask, otherwise look quietly'