to have removed dd from school

[borderslass]

until they sort the bullying out.
bit of background dd is 14 S3 and has been bullied since she started high school name calling and the like worked with school and seemed to be under control the main bullies were no longer in her classes since she started her choices this year,however sil's dd 13 started in august last year and it has now escalated, a lot was going on outside the school between sil and n harassing my dd and involving mil blaming absolutely everything on our dd she's no angel by the way but half the time she's not even out of the house, on Friday night dd was called horrendous things on msn by n and sil went crying to mil about it. I got a letter through the door off mil demanding that I sort dd out or she would get the police on her DH went to see her showed her the printout of what dd was called unfortunately sil was there and she still tried to deny she was to blame. dd went back to school yesterday and has now been threatened with violence off several girls if SHE does not stop bullying n school don't want to know unless she hears it from n herself she is terrified of going to school and has told me she wishes herself dead by the way dd is a lot smaller than n.

Sorry, not much guidance re DD, except I don't think you need to remove her from school. What's all that about the Police?!

I am, however, feeling generous. So my gift to you is a big box of full stops, commas and carriage returns.

you need to contact the police yourself - and school. Take a printout of what was said on msn and get them to sort this out.

I would also be speaking to your SIL and tell her to stop bullying a CHILD, tell your MIL to butt out too.

Sounds like a right charming bunch.

It could also be 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. It seems that both times your daughter has been in the middle of everything though.

There was a rhread here earlier this week re bullying with lots of good advice from people, Are you able / prepared to home ed you dc? What does her dd say and more importantly what does your dd want?
Stop acess to msn / facebook for a while or make up new email etc and be selective about who has access, is it possible to involve police or even just get advice as your dc was threatened or did she throw threaten back?
What are the school doing for ye?

Agree with the hills. What a family to live in. Your MIL sounds like a real charmer.

how helpful guidnunc. Someone posts worried about their child and you are concerned for their grammar. Nice to see your priorities are sorted.

Borderslass - am I right in saying that your sil thinks it is your daughter who is bullying the niece, and you have a printout of your niece bullying your daughter, but your sil won't believe it? Give her a copy and say "take this to the police then"

you say your daughter is no angel (who is?) is there any chance at all that she could be bullying or could have bullied? - just because she is unhappy and worried doesn't mean she doesn't or hasn't bullied others herself.

You need a meeting with the school again, to sort this out.

your sister in law is harassing your daughter? How so?

What do they think your daughter has done? Are you 100% sure there is no truth in what they say? Of course, your job is to protect your daughter, but you can only deal with a situation when you are in full possession of the facts.

See, what doesn't make sense is that your daughter was called names by your niece, and your sil went to your mil about it, complaining about your daughter - what did she say your daughter had done? Had she?

it started outwith the school but the bullying is going on in school and they don't want to know we don't know who these girls are who are making the threats dd didn't even know them until this week. we've been the police about things outside the school dh has been down to try and sort it out. dd is no bully she's one of those kids that goes on errands for our elderly neighbours she is also a young carer.

Quidnunc. Nice, condescending pedantry there. Not entirely appropriate.

I'd take the bull by the horns and go and see MIL/SIL myself and have a few carefully chosen words with them. Then inform them that whilst you wouldn't want things getting out of hand, if it continues you WILL call the police, showing them the printout of what was said to your DD. They'll probably shit themselves at the police seeing hard evidence of what their little madame has been up to.

Might also be worth sitting down with DD and just making absolutely certain that it's not six of one. Tell her that since the police might be getting involved, it's essential she's honest.

Even if a " family thing " talk to school ,it must be affecting child's education plus sil's DD is at school and part of the problem.

agree ref quid, so bitchy and inppapropriate, someones worried about their kids welfare and you get some snide comment like that in? shame on you. bet you dont come back to apologise either. worst type of MN snob

borders

I think there are 2 issues here

try and communicate with the school and let them know how worried you are that DD will be hurt. they have a right to protect her, and there is some great advise on another bullying thread. if you can find it, ask here

I also agree that the family are TOXIC
as an immediate step please please make a fresh start and cut the MSN, cut facebook, delete mobile numbers, do whatever you can in non agressively cut them out.
and where is DH in all this, are you fighting this battle on your own. Sounds like they are toxic cunts and right now all you can do is cut contact completely

then think what can you do to boost your poor DD? she is getting it in the nech in and out of school. If I were you I'd consider a fresh start and try and equip her with the tolls she needs to be confident in herself. I dont know the DD of course but be it new clothes, self defence, drama, anything that she can enjoy poor thing

Is there another school? Whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation, I wouldn't want my daughter to be in a school with her cousin if there was awful family strife as you describe and this was reigniting previous problems with other children. Maybe a fresh start would be good?

Borderlass I apologise. My comment was thoughtless and nasty.

I hope you manage to find a way to sort the situation out.

well done quid , i am eating my hat

porcamiseria
we did cut contact delete mobile numbers but she kept mine the sad thing is that until a couple of years ago we were friends but I made the mistake of going on holiday with her and it all changed. My dd was trying to speak to a friend on msn when this latest thing happened as for facebook shes blocked the pair of them after being called an arsehole by sil.
dh is trying but the problem is he is ready to flatten his sister after what shes done and thats not the answer. but she also lives 2 streets away so we cant avoid her unfortunatly.

the next nearest school is 6 miles away if they don't get the situation sorted were considering it we are now waiting for a call back from the education authority.

borderlass- my heart goes out to you i have had a thread on here the last few days & i have had so much fantastic advice & support , i am rubbish at links but i could refresh my thread if you think it might help you ?

Is it possible for you to move, perhaps closer to the other school? Change your mobile number so sil can't contact you. It would be a bit of a pain but maybe worth it. Keep copies of all correspondence and any texts as proof in case you need it.

for your dd. Hope you get it sorted.