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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that........

24 replies

alice09 · 25/03/2010 21:52

It is very unprofessional of my dd's karate instructor to bring her baby and toddler to class with her.

OP posts:
lockets · 25/03/2010 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GreaterFence · 25/03/2010 21:55

Well if she had no childcare and hadn't brought them with her the class would probably have been cancelled at very short notice and you'd be asking "AIBU to think dd's karate instructor should have turned up to teach?"

On the other hand did she just bring them in to show them off (new baby poss)?

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:01

yes as you can imagine with a baby and toddler they are a distraction, the class is for ages 4 years plus so thought it was odd that she brings them along.

OP posts:
JavaBean247 · 25/03/2010 22:03

Maybe they're just really advanced for their ages.

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:03

my dd has been going for years before instuctor had kids

OP posts:
wonka · 25/03/2010 22:05

Does she do it every week? Maybe she was let down and didn't want to do the same to her class!

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:11

lol at them being advanced for there age...the point is i'm paying for a service most people don't take there kids to work with them, she does it every week, wasn't so bad when it was just the one but both of them makes me think it's not fair on my dd and the rest of the class

OP posts:
Shodan · 25/03/2010 22:11

Was it a one-off or is it a regular occurrence?

If the former, YABU.

If the latter, YANBU.

If it's just this once, then she would have been more unprofessional to miss the class. Even if she had been attending to her children, she would still have been able to teach. Does the class have a sempai? (assistant teacher?) How old are the students? Part of learning karate is being able to stand out front and demonstrate to fellow students. It is also considered something of an honour to be chosen to do this.

More details needed, really.

Shodan · 25/03/2010 22:13

Oops sorry. Missed your last post.

Still, does she have a sempai? Or is she in sole charge? If she has no assistant, then yes, it's a bit unreasonable to bring her children every week.

Is there another class in your group your dd could attend? Perhaps you could ask the senior sensei?

Jaquelinehyde · 25/03/2010 22:20

Have you thought to raise it with her. Or have you just let yourself get more, and more worked up about this week on week.

If she has done this from the day the children were born, then yes YABU as you should have said something earlier.

If she has done this since the day your DC's began lessons, then yes YABU.

If she began this recentlyand it has just begun to niggle you then no YANBU.

So which is it then I can answer

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:23

she does bring her partner he looks after one child and she looks after baby....so who is really paying full attention & teaching the class?

my dd says she is getting bored of doing the same routine each week she is going for her black belt soon but they keep putting it off saying she's not ready yet she's been waiting nearly a year now.

OP posts:
Shodan · 25/03/2010 22:30

Eh? She's been waiting a year? Do you mean since her last grading? (1st kyu)

Is there another class in the club she could attend?

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:33

when my dd started 4 years ago instructor had no kids so not a problem.

After the first few weeks of her bringing second child along assumed she won't keep it up but she has, can't really say to her can you not bring your kids please and focus on teaching mine or maybe i should!

OP posts:
Shodan · 25/03/2010 22:37

Sorry but this all sounds a bit hokey to me.

No professional sensei will bring children on a regular basis.

And no professional sensei will put anyone forward for black belt after only four years training.

I should change clubs, if I were you.

Problem solved.

Shodan · 25/03/2010 22:39

Actually, change the word professional to decent.

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:44

Real shame as dd is desperate to get her black belt and she very good,

there are other clubs in the area but then dd will be a white belt and have to start at the bottom and work her way back up again to the grade she's on now

there is no sensei? just the master instructor

OP posts:
fluffles · 25/03/2010 22:48

you pay for the class but do you know if the instructor actually gets paid?

in my martial art senseis are voluntary (you learn by teaching after black belt), the mat fees and club fees pay for the hall, mats, insurance etc.

if she is voluntary then i don't think she is being too unreasonable (unless it affects her performance in which case that is the issue not the children per se). if she is paid then she is out of order in my opinion.

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 22:59

she is paid my hard earned cash...wondering now if because class size has dropped since she started bringing little ones my dd's black belt is being put off.

I also pay for my dd's insurance
, just looking at other clubs i've had enough of being taken for a mug now. I really don't think IABU!

OP posts:
Shodan · 25/03/2010 23:14

If you take your daughter to a different club they won't necessrily put her back to white belt permanently. She will be given that status until a grading then they will grade her according to what they judge her ability to be.

In my club a black belt joined and fully expected to retain that grade. At the grading he was judged only to be the standard of a 2nd kyu. He was happy with that- our club has a reputation for high standards.

Shodan · 25/03/2010 23:17

Btw sensei is the correct Japanese term for an instructor. The fact that your daughter's teacher hasn't used this or taught her this makes me wonder if she's properly qualified. This in addition to the speed at which your DD has gone through the grades.

Really, if your DD wants to do well at karate and she is good, she will not have a problem somewhere else.

Original poster
alice09 · 25/03/2010 23:22

thanks for that info shodan, I will look into it a new club is a great idea

OP posts:
LeQueen · 25/03/2010 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shodan · 25/03/2010 23:33

It's something of a beef of mine, LeQueen. I have read stories about black belts being unable to defend themselves, or having attained their belt within 3 years and it makes my teeth itch because it devalues what you have worked so long and so hard to achieve. And suffered for.

(Or at least it would if you went against what your sensei has taught you and cared what other people do. )

LeQueen · 26/03/2010 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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