To bar my child from seeing her cousin as she has been infected with head lice at least 4 times from her now.

[Katyathegringa]

My husband's niece has had head lice for at least 2 years now (seriously), the reason being that although her mum throws a treatment on every now and again, because her hair is so long and thick they are never 100% successful. The suggestion that she cut her hair a bit to make it more manageable and easier to get rid of was greeted with scorn due to the fact that she doesn't want cut the "beautiful curls off the bottom of her hair".

So, each time my daughter (20 months) and her are together within days sure enough she is scratching again, and 5 minutes after so am I. We then have to go through the rigmarole of treating ourselves - until the next time they get together when the cycle starts all over again. We have got to the stage now when DD's nursery is complaining that the staff and children are being infected.

I have tried to have a word with DH, whose response is "well what do you expect me to do about it!", and "you aren't seriously suggesting they don't see each other any more?!", the only thing he did suggest is that we treat DD's hair after each visit - I have nor the time nor the money to doing head lice treatments every week or so.

So, any suggestions? Or am I being totally unreasonable.

I really don't understand parents who let their children get into this kind of state with lice. Grrrr. But I think the OP should get firm with her relatives - she is doing her niece a favour by doing so.

Another remedy you could try is washing your DD's hair in vinegar - my mum did that with me when I was little, and it seemed to work for a while (though unfortunately the school I was at meant I was perpetually being reinfected; there were three or four constantly lousy children in my class).

Makes your hair really shine too. Other than that, my mum used to stand us over the sink every night and comb our hair into it. One night she just cut all my hair off because she was fed up with it - it went from midway down my back to above my shoulders. I felt very self-conscious the next day.

Oh I remember the nit nurse fondly

My doctor is reluctant to presribe the chemicals and says the best treatment is to comb every other day with a nit comb and loads of conditioner - my dd has had them a couple of times and I get in the bath with her and do it there - it can get messy otherwise! I also add a few drops of lavender oil and tea tree oil to the conditioner as this kills and repels the nits in a natural way.

Even when it seems they have gone, keep conditioning and adding the essential oils to the conditioner for quite a while when you wash her hair just to make sure they are gone for good!

But I don't think YABU. I would certainly keep my child away from anyone who repeatedly infested her with nits. No need to be nasty about it, just explain that it is distressing for your dd to keep having to be treated for nits, and that you have had complaints from her nursery as she is passing them on and it's not fair on other people. You never know, it might give her a wake up call and get her to sort her poor kid's head out.

Quassia chips. An infusion made from it works even on dreads! (As both a pesticide -kills both lice and nits- and a deterrent).

They don't like the acid in vinegar either but if the poor girl has sores, do not recommend vinegar to her parents, it will hurt a lot

YANBU I'm currently dealing with the fifth infestation of the year. Conditioner and Nitty Gritty's my preferred treatment.

n.b. Quassia chips although 'natural' (a tree bark) still produces a chemical so use with caution as with all chemical pesticides. ....Tis a very effective remedy for long/thick/dread hair though!

To have headlice for 2 years, to the point where the child has sores on her head is very sad for the child. Why not suggest to the child's mother that she could speak to her health visitor for more advice and help on how to rid the child of nits. Maybe the health visitor can then keep an eye on things.

Hedrin works, and is not a pesticide, but is silicone liquid that you rub all over the head and hair and leave overnight- it suffocates the lice. You have to repeat a week later to kill the newly hatched eggs before they mature enough to lay more. Could you treat your DN when she comes? And then again a week later?
It isn't cheap, but it does work.

I'm sorry, but I'd have to have a chat mam to mam with the girls mum...

There is NO way I'd just sit back and take my child to be infested everytime I went to go and see BIL's family. Family decorum my hairy (nit-free) backside!

Bugger the long hair and losing the sodding curls, that poor girl is suffering and will get bullied relentlessly because her mother is not addressing the issue.

Gah, what twat banned the nit nurse? This is no way to live in a supposedly first world country!

And if she didn't sort it, i'd tell her that this is SS territory... but then I'm not that extended-family minded...

If the girl has sores on her head then this is neglect, im suprised school or nursery has not reported this.
I would not allow my child to visit again until the problem was sorted and I would be saying exactly why not.

I was trying to hint earlier, I would actually report her to NSPCC or whoever because she could end up aneamic if she has been infested for that length of time she must be feeling "lousy"

I was going to say that the expression "lousy" comes from the feeling that an infestation if headlice gives you, their saliva and blood sucking have a detrimental effect on the whole body. I have never used any chemical treatments, I use the nitty gritty comb and lots of conditioner, as it gets all of the lice as well as most of the eggs, but I do find that it might leave a few behind, but combing every day or every other day with it will get rid of the infestation. The nitty gritty comb is also the only thing that will go through my very thick hair. As to the SIL I would buy her one of them, and I would keep your DD away until the infestation was gone.

Sores on the scalp can be caused by ezcema or other conditions.

True brassband dd4 gets sores on her scalp due to psorasis, fortunately however the nits don't seem to like it

Please could I repeat the question? If the girl is being treated, how do you know that she doesn't keep getting reinfected by a 3rd party ?IME this is very very common at school

If that is the situation then as a parent you still need to nitcomb your own child regularly so they do not become infested with them.

When I write infested I do mean infested with very many large adult lice not just a couple of adults picked up from somewhere and then a load of tiny hatchlings because you didn't realise IYSWIM.

I still don't see why the thickness/length of her would make a treatment ineffective.Its a chemical which kills them so the fact that she can't comb it very well shouldn't make a difference.It sounds as though they have built up a resistance to the chemical.Is the mother using a different treatment every time ? If she is already doing this, then she should go to teh doctor who jhas a different formula which is available only on prescription.

I am itching myself.
I would have to say something to sil, quite blunt and to the point really. Would you let your dd play with a child knowing they had an infectious illness? To me there is no difference, so no YANBU.

Thanks for all the advice ladies. Have decided not to impose a bar on them spending time together - but implement as many preventative measures as possible to stop her getting them each time (the conditioner for example).

You're right CarGirl - it is tantamount to neglect.

Hi all, I bought one of the nitty gritty combs and have been conditioning/combing her hair every couple of days. She hasn't seen her cousin for a while now so hasn't had any infestation anyway, but i thought it a good idea to get into the habit.

Yay for the Nitty Gritty!!

Could not agree more about the nitty gritty comb.

Almost wept for joy (no exaggeration!) the first time I used it on DD's extremely long, nit-infested hair.

It deserves a thread all to itself.

agree with brassband. a parent from your dd's nursery could be having the same problem with your dd - her child continually re-infected from yours! obviously you are treating your daughter and doing your best to solve the problem, but people outside the situation don't know that.