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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect my husband to carry heavy things

18 replies

fernie3 · 25/03/2010 14:53

I have a feeling people are going to tell me I am but here goes.

Our washing machine is broken, we have had to save up to get it fixed which has taken a couple of weeks. In that time we have been using the laundrette to do the minimum amount.The laundrette is about 10 minutes walk away. We have a big bag of clothes (black bag sized) that need going and I have been asking my husband to carry it there for me as I am 21 weeks pregnant and already being treated for high blood pressure etc. My husband seems to think this is totally unreasonable and I should take it myself, his best suggestion was put in on the back of the pushchair and balance it out with two of the children on the front - which I dont think that either me or the pushchair could take.

Today my one year old threw up on my only clean pair of trousers that fits me so I am now reduced to wearing pj bottoms while they dry (I handwashed them). My husband is now working from home and when I asked him to get the children from school he started moaning and muttering to himself and saying how unfair it was that he should have to take my clothes to the laundrette (they are his and the kids too but he seems to be ignoring that point).

So am I unreasonable to expect him to carry the bag there? at this point I am seriously considering paying a taxi to get me there and back which am sure he will also have a moan about.

OP posts:
fernie3 · 25/03/2010 14:54

forgot to add if I split is up it costs alot more to do the same amount because they charge per load so there is no point taking less than a full load up there!

OP posts:
BAFE · 25/03/2010 14:55

YANBU - hand washyours and the kids stuff and let him sort himself out.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 25/03/2010 14:55

YANBU, you are pregnant and not supposed to carry heavy things. If you get your wife pregnant, you sign up for carrying the aforementioned things.

shonaspurtle · 25/03/2010 14:55

Do you have clothes lined with lead? No?

YANBU

MmeLindt · 25/03/2010 14:56

Get a taxi. And only wash your clothes and those of your DC.

He is being a wanker.

CaresMildly · 25/03/2010 14:56

Completely reasonable to expect him to help you out. He sounds a bit of a selfish arse from what you've written. Take the taxi and tell him to bog off if he complains.

CoronaAndLime · 25/03/2010 16:15

God Fernie he is beeing an arse about this one!
I'm 21 wks too (used to be 'Kinnies') and my dh is totaly over the top about me picking anything up. He pisses me off with that, but I'd be more hacked off if he didnt care about it at all!! >>my Dh cant win

abbierhodes · 25/03/2010 19:56

I certainly wouldn't wash any of his things, ever again tbh. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so selfish.

ImSoNotTelling · 25/03/2010 20:09

YANBU

ChippingIn · 25/03/2010 20:14

What a selfish wanker - pregnant or not - he should be carrying this for you, not expecting you to take it along with 2 kids.... is he always this much of a twat?

The fact that he sees this as your job & your problem is the real issue... ffs...

Missus84 · 25/03/2010 20:18

If you don't take his clothes it'll be less to carry - I'd just take your stuff in the pushchair and leave his clothes and the children with him.

JavaBean247 · 25/03/2010 21:14

What a fecker. Was he always this much of a tit when you married him?

Rockbird · 25/03/2010 21:19

I'd put the clothes in a bin bag and go and stay elsewhere for a few weeks. Let the selfish tosspot fend for himself for a bit.

EdgeofReason · 25/03/2010 21:31

YANBU Get the one yr old to vom on his clothes then tuck them back into his draw to ferment. Tosser, Why is it even your job - WTF is he doing. GRRR

alaviel · 25/03/2010 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABetaDad · 25/03/2010 23:32

YANBU - but I used to have to do this and a wheeled suitcase was very useful.

Could you get a wheeled suitcase or shopping trolley so DH can take fewer but much bigger loads to save him time?

GardenPath · 26/03/2010 00:15

YANBU!!!! HE is! What a miserable, selfish pig! "...been asking my husband to carry it there for me..." Waddya mean? FOR YOU??? It's his smelly underpants isn't it? I'd say he's BU expecting you to do them. Tell him to do his bloody job and earn enough money to buy a decent washing machine. And stop knocking you up! Was he like this when you were courting? If so, what were you thinking? My mother always said 'Start as you mean to go on', meaning if you let them get away with being arseholes they'll carry on, didn't quite work for her but it's still a good maxim - if we have to 'manage' them like children. Alternatively, I know a farmer's wife (I should say 'farmer') who maintained to her husband she just couldn't milk cows, 'There has to be something I can't do,' she told me. I should develop a very bad back if I were you, if you haven't got one already. Grrr, I know what I'd do with that black bag...

ZacharyQuack · 26/03/2010 00:39

Though on the other hand, your husband could be thinking that he's supposed to be working to earn money to support the family and buy a new washing machine, and here you are hassling him about picking up children and going to the laundrette......

Is it the size of the load that's the problem or the length of the walk? Could you split the load into several piles and carry a smaller bag on the back of the pram? Do several trips over the course of a few days? I do think it's a teensy bit pathetic if you can't manage to get a few clothes cleaned under your own steam.

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