not to buy my ds a ds for his 6th birthday?

[mrspoolie]

My DS is about to turn 6 and is nagging for a Nintendo DS for his birthday. He is already obsessed with Moshi Monsters,Club Penguin etc and i don't want him to become so addicted to computer related activities that he loses the ability to interact with live human beings. On the other hand, I don't want to be a meanie. My DH suggested we buy him 'something more interactive' like Magnetix...personally I think that'll make him hate us.What to do?

i don't know, my ds who is 6 in a month or so also wants one. he has just got into computers in a big way. I am considering getting him one but rationing it to 1hr max per day or something. will be interested to hear others views on this...

I think with all these things is a question of supervision, and clear boundaries. I think a DS is fine. But just be clear that he has a set amount of time for all these things.

YANBU.

However I don't have your willpower and have bought one for my DS' 6th birthday...

His older brother has one, and he goes for days without using it (usually when he forgets where he's put it!) so they don't actually have to take over your life.

If you don't want to buy him one, then don't/

If you think he'll become obsessed by it, then I can understand your concern.

My DD had one at 5y but isn't the obsessive type, so that aspect has never been an issue.

My ds has a DSi, a PSP, a gameboy, an Xbox...(don't ask, none of it my idea) but honestly, he spends most of his time playing lego....

I admit I had these concerns too, but really it's been ok.

Dc enjoy them but still do lots of traditional playing too. If I think there is too much ds-ing going on, I clamp down. At least when they are still young you can monitor the amount of time they spend on the thing and encourage good habits.

If you need a suggestion for an interactive toy my ds also loves Knex and plays with it endlessly.

I am a hugely against video games. I taught 13 year olds for 10 years, and those kids who started gaming in primary school were deeply into it as teenagers. 6 is too young...they need to concentrate on friends, school and being outside as much as possible. Even long car rides should provide opportunities for chatting, making up games or reading.
Sorry, but I saw too many kids whose parents never intended to let them get addicted trying to figure out how to get them off the games.

Thanks for the advice. I too think I lack the willpower and would rather see the huge smile on his face when he opens his present as opposed to the tears and horror at the sight of a box of 'magnetix'. Had also not considered how powerful it could be as a tool for bribery/threatening and other motherly pursuits. I am inclined to get it but just make sure there is a limit on the time he can use it. My DH has told him he can't have one until he is 13 so he's likely to be in for a shock (that is if I can convince him to part with the money to actually buy it!)

I wasn't intending to buy my dd one, but thought it may come in handy for long journeys etc.
Unfortunately, after a few days I realised that she was waking up in the night and playing it so I kept it out of reach for a while.

She is now 7 1/2 years old and has had it for 1 1/2 years and isn't at all obsessed with it. She would rather be out socialising and playing than sitting on her own in the house. And would rather be reading a book for a while everyday than playing on the ds continually. So I think it's ok especially when the weather is very poor and there are few things we can go out and do.

It's your call though. I think I would've been happier if I had have left it a bit longer.

Interesting topic.

My dd1 nagged us for a DS for ages - over a year, and we bought her one for Christmas; she turns 7 in May.

She played on it a fair bit initially and when we went away at Half Term and my cousins children were playing on theirs, but since then, she hasn't touched it!

Not saying this would happen, but I would buy one for him and just moderate use, unless like our dd1 he moderates himself

We made DD wait till she was 8 to get a DSi. She has phases of using it but even then not excessively so. We also made her save £40 towards the cost of it - we thought she would take more care of it that way.

We are going to do the same with DS1. He knows he will get one on his 8th birthday same as DD. TBH I think they are a bit too young before that age. Just my personal opinion.

I got my DD one for her 5th bday and wasnt happy at that but she isnt an obsessive type but when she first got it i also just put a limit on when and how long she could use it for. Now she rarely goes on it but really enjoys it when she does and im obviously fantastic cause she now has one!! Got mine off ebay for £50.

Just to add i know someone whos son got one before he was 5 he wasnt monitored and is very into everything he does and absolutely lives on it and he may as well not be in the room when hes on it!!!

If you can't stand up to the pester power at 5 what will you do when he is 16 and pestering to go out drinking with his friends.

You are the parent you decide when he has things not him.

That said I would get him something he actually wants it sounds like your dh likes the sound of Magnetics. Surely DS has other interests than a nintendo though.

We have had to hide our laptop at night because he has been known to get up at stupid o'clock in the morning, sneak downstairs and play Moshi monsters or whatever so I think I'd definitely have to hide it so that he is clear as to when he can and can't use it. He is a very sociable child so I'm not worried that he will reject all interaction with his friends in favour of playing on his DS. It is just a concern that kids are indulging in such activities at such a young age...I'm sure I was into double figures before I was blessed with a ZX Spectrum!

mrspoolie - in that case I 100% would not get him one.

If he can pester you enough to buy it then he can pester you enough to let him go on it whenever he wants though.

Definitely, your choice - we're still holding out although DS would absolutely love one too but DH & I have decided that he can wait another year or two. I think that we're in the minority in RL as well as MN though. DS got a maxi micro scooter for his 6th birthday followed by a bigger bike at Christmas amongst the tons of Lego!

I agree with doesntplaywellwithothers - my DS aged 9 is apparently the 'only' child in the school who doesn't have a playstation, DS, etc etc - I haven't a clue what all these products are ... he has limited access to the family computer and family TV - we must be the most old fashioned parents around. If you are not comfortable with the idea then don't get a DS, certainly just 'to see the huge smile on his face when he opens it' seems a pretty feeble reason.

Don't give in to pester power.

Ds is going to be 6 soon and he is amongst the few of his friends not to have a DS. Have seen children playing them in prams .

He occasionally gets access to a Gameboy that's in the glove compartment of the car on long journeys and he quite often plays Wii games for a set time at the weekend on the main tv. My concern is your concern though, about how much time he really will spend on it rather than doing more 'wholesome' activities.

I don't want to have to deal with whinging, pester-power or pleading looks. I can resist it easily enough, just don't want to have to deal with it, iyswim. Otoh, ds can simply be told the limits, any arguments and it disappears. Dh was initially all for getting one a year ago but now has swung round to be firmer about not having one than I am and thinks we ought to wait longer before buying one. So not at all decided here.

The sneaking down early to play computer games would concern me a bit though.

I really agree with everyone who says it is up to whether you feel you can manage how much time he spends on it. My 4 girls all had them at 8 (by clubbing together all their birthday money from everyone in the family), but with games like Brain Training and Imagine Teacher which are actually quite useful. Big brother hasn't been bothered but occasionally borrows one from a sister!They mostly play together/with friends as the DS's can link up, so it can help build social & negotiating skills too. As with anything electronic, they have to be prepared to turn it off (or I'll take it away until the next day)!
Good Luck!

I am bemused by the idea that pester power robs parents of control.

Its fine for kids to want stuff their mates have. DSs are nice things, plenty of educational stuff on them, duly monitored.

It's fine for parents to say no.

But if they say yes, after due consideration, then there is absolutely nothing to say that parents suddenly lose control of their children, especially at aged 6.

Pester power is nonsense. It says at one and the same time that children are unreasonable and parents have no control.

there is a happy medium.

Get him his DS. Yes, he will probably want to play on it a lot to begin with, but that will wear off. The weather is getting better,.(hopefully),so he will be able to go out and play with his friends.
All mine have one, and go through phases of playing them, then not bothering for ages. They are good for in the car,and they can play together.
As others have said, you can limit the time he spends on it-maybe you and he can make a daily time chart together?
I think, as parents, we sometimes have to remember that how we and our dc play are very different. Dc become technology literate very early now-there are PCS in nursery classrooms which the dc are encouraged to use.
Your ds will love his DS and it will be money well spent.
Let your dh have the Magnetix, but tell him you can get educational games as well as fun games for the DS.

Get him the DS. He will love it, you can easily limit time on it and it's a great bargining tool eg: do your homework, tidy your room etc and then you can have 20 mins on it.

DS1 is 8 and he got one at 6, got him one game, we rent others from the library, he loves Brain Training too.

I would still well clear of the Magnetix, the same DS swallowed one of the balls when he was six, hospital x-ray etc, no pain or harm done, but I had to ensure it had passed, so I had mash his poo everytime to try and fine it , rubber glove inside 2 bin bags, hand down loo, gagging.

I did this each time for over 10 days, then he 4got and flushed, but there, as is by magic, was the Magnetix in the bottom of the toilet bowel. It was no longer shiny due to the stomach acid, he took it in to show and tell at school, sort of a moral tale/science project if you like!

To all those that say 'get it' - doesn't the sneaking downstairs to play on the computer concern you - at 5 years old?

As someone just said this is a technology age-my pov is that they access them at school and we have a family computer- so why would i give them an individual one when they're not much more than babies?