To ask to keep them seperate?

[dollycakes]

dd starts primary school after summer hols.
There is a child at her nursery group with who she really doesnt get along with,argueing, fighting, lies etc. - which has led me and dh not getting on with said childs parents. Nursery doesnt really want to know and say they can only try to make them get along. But its been going on a year, and ive had enough.

both dd and this girl are going to same primary, could even end up in same class. Im not saying dd is innocent, but other girl is def. the ringleader.
its stressful, and i am worried about how being together for another 6/7 years will affect her.
AIBU to ask headteacher to make sure they are in different classes? i know they will see each other at activity and play time but maybe the seperation would make the situation less intense. What do u think?

You can try

YANBU, i think that this would make your DD more comfortable in her new surroundings. Not everyone gets along and its nothing to worry about.

Go and ask. Nothing to lose have you?

But school is very different to nursery in the friendship department. It could sort itself out naturally so if they do end up in the same class don't worry too much cos' after the first term they'll have their own little friends.

Worth mentioning to the school. They wont want any problems either, so may be able to oblige.

No harm in asking. Just frame it as a personality clash, as you don't want to be perceived as being blaming or precious (not that I think you are)

More than petty squabbles. In past 6 months dd has had a split lip, been spat on,been called stupid and useless, had many of her artworks ruined. Name calling, hairpulling etc
dd has pushed this other girl a few times and called her smelly and mean. Nursery has told me they know the situation but cant do anything. Hence me speaking to other childs parents calmly and getting mouthfuls of abuse.

i would talk to the school. you have nothing to lose and lots to gain.

hmmm after your second post - I would be having more than a word with nursery! Of course they can do something about this behaviour. They are choosing not to.

Do have a chat with the head about this - is this a nursery that is attached to your primary school or is it totally seperate?

Definitely worth asking.

Initially thought thesecondcoming's post was more than reasonable but having read your last comment would agree with you. We can't always get involved with children's squabbles but what you have said is really unpleasant. Just have a word. Hopefully it will all disappear of it's own accord once they mix with other children.

After reading your second post I would definately speak to the primary - atleast then you will know you have tried.

But I would definately speak to the nursery now, of course they can do something about it!

At first I agreed with thesecondcoming too but after your 2nd post I agree you should speak to the school. Sounds like this girl is allowed to get away with far too much bad behaviour. And the nursery sound crap.

The nursery are the sort that doesnt like focus on bad behaviour - they focus more on rewarding the good and ignoring naughty iyswim?
punishment is usually 'quiet time' (5mins alone in reading corner) then apologising to each other. Few days later it all starts again. Ive told dd not to retaliate, but she does. The other parents involved are not easy people to talk to.
its the only nursery in our area.
nursery and primary are seperate