To think DH's work colleague needs to grow a pair!?

[memoo]

DH work in an office along with about 50 other people.

On Monday e was preparing a piece of work for another colleague. His colleague had been mithering about when this piece of work would be done all day via several emails. There is no dead line on this piece of work just needed to be done asap

After the 4th email DH sent a jokey reply saying "its nearly done so stop getting your knickers in a twist"

DH's work colleague has actually gone to HR and made a formal complaint about the email!!! saying he was upset by it!

So this morning HR have issued a proper verbal warning to DH!

AIBU to think this man needs to grow a pair and not be such a mard arse!!!

Personally unless it is his responsibility to do the work for this collegue i would steer clear and maybe he should go to HR and say he was being pressurised re the 4 emails.

What a wuss!
Maybe he actually does wear knickers secretly and is worried Dh has discovered his secret!!

YANBU - How pathetic. Yes, a counter-accusation of bullying and harrassment for the 4 emails.

Isn't that language a bit out of order though? I feel like a twit saying that as I wouldn't take offense myself, but would never say something like that to one of my students.

Depends on what the work was, whether the colleague needed it to get on with his own job (have assumed that this is what you mean by "doing for another colleague" rather than that your DH was doing a job which the other colleague should have been doing). If it needed doing ASAP, then TBH that is the deadline, and if this piece of work needed to be completed so colleague to meet his own deadline then colleague wasn't being unreasonable to chase.

Would have been better to speak to each other then send daft e-mails, but honestly, I'd have been pretty pissed off if I'd been waiting for a piece of work to be passed to me for review and I was told not to get my knickers in a twist.

So, on the basis of what you've said in your OP, I'm afraid that yes, YABU.

It might have been with jokey intent but "don't get your knickers in a twist" is still fairly patronising and if colleague 2 is stressed about the work being completed it may have felt like an insult.

He doesn't work at a University does he? His colleague sounds like loads of people I work with at one!!

DH was doing a piece of work for his colleague to help him out as his work load is huge at the moment, they all work on different accounts.

The colleague wanted it doing to stop him self from looking like he can't cope. DH and a few others had been doing bits and pieces of this guys work inbetween handling their own accounts

DH wasn't very professional I agree, but to actually make a formal complaint!!!

Its not a uni, its a printers

Oh and I agree about talking rather than emailing. Why they can't blooming get off their backsides and walk to the other side of the office is beyond me, bloody men!!!

I bet woman don't do it though

the problem's something different then if this bloke's workload is too much or if he's not competent. he sounds stressed out either way

bloke should be talking to his manager not offloading work to others (unless this is a generally accepted way of working there)

smacks of being ungrateful - nonetheless your DH still a touch unwise

OK, if your DH was taking on something that colleague couldn't manage to do, then that changes things slightly, and complaining to HR was probably a bit OTT, but still, the tone of the e-mail sounds a bit off for a work situation.

E-mail is the work of the devil, you just can't tell how someone is going to take it. Far easier to just wander over to someone's desk and speak to them.

Hope your DH was able to put his side of the story across to HR.

I've told DH that his email was a bit childish but I still can't get over a grown man basically spitting his dummy out like his colleague has done!

If it upset him he could have first spoke to his line manager or office manager but to go running stright to HR is pathetic tbh.

Sometimes people say things we don't like, thats life!

DH didn't go crying to HR about carrying his useless work colleague for the past few month!!

Just to be clear, i'm not saying DH should have sent the email in the first place, just that his colleague over reacted

YANBU

But I strongly advise your DH not to suggest this to the colleague or HR.

Then again, your DH should steer clear of this person, if this person can't do his own work then he needs to be unfront about it to the line manager etc not get others to help then complain about them.

Do still think DH should take the emails to HR and explain the full picture to them, doubt they will remove the warning/caution but he would know he had done all he could to draw a line under the incident.

Hopefully your DH will not be doing this colleague any more favours or carrying his workload along with his own?
I agree with going to HR and explaining the whole situation. Ungrateful whinger.

I think this man is very short-sighted. Your husband was doing him a favour. If that happened to me, I can safely say that the person could be drowning under their workload after that and I wouldn't so much as throw them a rope.

Dh has printed out and kept copies of the emails. Don't think DH will be stepping up to help him any time soon.

Trouble with DH is that he is actually too nice sometimes. He definately should have told this colleague to speak to his line manager about his work load rather than bailing him out.

Dh is quite calm about it all, its me that is fuming with the injustice of it all!!

Your DH can appeal the verbal warning and I think he should.

It's unfair that his colleague went and complained to HR when your DH was doing him a favour.

People are so unappreciative and your DH is too nice.

YANBU

Unfortunately every workplace has its fair share of whingers, moaners, flappers, and the terribly over-sensitive....being recently promoted to a managerial role I have to deal with this every day, and frankly I wish I could email something to the effect of your DH's email to most of them (if not something worse!).

Agree entirely this person is appallingly short sighted in terms of effectively biting the hand that feeds. Am also surprised that HR would give a warning for something like this - makes me wonder whether this person has had past issues (stress etc) so HR are treading carefully and not letting him become 'upset'?