to expect my FIL to use a booster seat for the kids?

[Tinykins]

FIL dropped round today. When leaving my 3 year old said he wanted to go with Grandad. Grandad lives 3 mins away by car. He drives a nice car, Lexus Saloon. I asked Grandad if he had a booster seat in the back of his car because I had one sitting in the hall which he could take. He said no, sure I just always just put them on the arm rest that comes down between the back seat and then strap them in sitting on that". I was a bit I knew he would have put our 5 years old on it occasionally if stuck for a booster, but I was offering him one and there was no need for his to use that drop down armrest. I let it go cos they live so close and he would drive quite slowly but now I am annoyed with myself for not asserting myself and inisting on it. They all, (my dh included) think i am over cautious on this issue but (a) it is safer and (b) it is the law isnt it?? I didnt want to make an awkward situation by insisting but I think now that I should have insisted politely but firmly....why can't he just use the bloody booster anyway??

yes, you should have insisted, sorry - sure you will next time!

there is a reason kids are supposed to be in a car seat specific to their age and frankly if you FIL deems himself to be more clued up on this than all the health and safety experts/government/police etc he's an idiot

it might only take them 3 minutes to drive home but it takes less than that for an accident to happen - why does he think the safety of your child is less important that a moment's effort on his part

am sorry but having worked in the traffic dept for a while its just not worth it at all and if your FIL won't listen to you I'd be asking DH to have a word and if that doesn't work you could offer drive him round in your own car or walk

I found out my dcousin had taken DD1 (very tall 6yrs) in her car without one just for an icecream and was furious - they don't even need strapped in, just chuck it on the seat and plug in normally ffs - its not hard

very cross on your behalf

Infant seats are vital, but a few studies now have found not very much difference between a seat belt and a booster seat for children over two - it's based on a fear started in America on the lobbying of a single lady who lost a son in a tragic accident. But according to the crash tests, there is actually room to claim that car seats for older children are worse than seatbelts (the children move more). Plain seat belts have been found to be just as safe, even accounting for user error with installation.

At the end of the day though, your FIL should absolutely respect your wishes. It's not much of a break for you if you're stressed out for the safety of your LO! - but please don't fret with any awful "What ifs".

Katie whilst I appreciated your stand point having worked in a dept dealing with the aftermaths of the 'what ifs' I would advice using them on EVERY occassion - even if only to show children how important safety within a veh regarding correct seatbelts etc is - its just not worth not doing

It was up to you to insist.

If parents are letting their children in his car, is it up to them or him to provide a seat?

diddl - as the driver and adult responsible for the veh is it his responsibility - I wouldn't be too sure if the mother was in the veh as well but beleive it would also fall to him - I could be wrong though - all a bit rusty

have checked - it is the drivers responsibility to ensure that all passengers are correctly secured within their seats if they are under the age of 16

Are car seats "the law" -or that a child is securely strapped in?

depending on height/age of child - yes - will look for a link for you

information here regarding the law on car seats for children

YANBU

Your FIL is obviously a friend of my MIL... She decided the other week to help me out by picking up DS1 and taking him to his piano lesson. Lovely thought, except that she didn't have a booster seat, and ours was in the car, which was at DH's work. She didn't seem to think that it mattered, even when I pointed out that if she were stopped by the police she would get a ticking off. Then she suggested taking one of the scatter cushions from the sofa and using that instead

I know that things were different in their day, and that they crammed 15 children plus a picnic basket and a dog into the back seat of their Morris what-not, but I do wish they'd listen to me when it comes to my children!

and breathe...

I am not sure that booster seats are actually required by law in the same way that the seat belt is and the way you can get penalty points for not using a seat belt..

But when he brought the little fellow home I did have a word with him and just pointed out that as I had a booster sitting in the hall I would have preferred that he took it as I had offered it to him, as I was not keen on him and his 5 year old brother sitting in this arm rest thing.

He was mortified. Didnt realise that it was an issue for me. He genuinely thought that becuase the arm rest is big enough for a child to sit on, (about a foot long and six or seven inches across) it would do the same job as the booster.

I am not an engineer, and for all I know maybe there isnt much difference between this and a booster in terms of safety but I still would prefer to use the things anyway, esp if they are available, and I also explained that I wasnt sure how advisable it was for kids to sit that high up and strapped in, it is an arm rest after all, therefore not designed to be sat on or have child strapped in it.

Anyway, I think he got the message. I felt really awkward bringing it up and he was embarrassed and no doubt some people will say I am over cautious, but I can live with that.

tinykins - please see my above link regarding the laws for car seats

Thanks by the way for that link dizzy that is useful.

tinykins - I hope you don't think I'm being an arse about all this but we take it so seriously that when the CCTV saw a female travelling with a baby on her knee in the rear of a veh, police officers were dispatched to stop the veh - we didn't manage to catch it on the move and as such the driver was warned but still - it IS taken seriously as it is a matter of child safety

Don't think that at all Dizzy. I am of the view that when it comes to cars and kids you can never be too careful.

My FIL and MIL adore their grandkids and would never knowing put them at risk. But they are of a different era, and would see nothing wrong with the arm rest scenario, or the using of cushions instead of a booster.

They would never travel with a baby on their knee in the car though, I do know that.

I know I am on the ultra cautious end of this issue. Many many of my friends are quite casual about their kids in the car, no boosters, really small kids in the front seat, sharing a seat belt in the back with another kids etc..I just don't understand that at all.

Tinykins, why dont you encourage your PILS to get a crrect restraint for your DC's to have in their car or buy some yourself ?

oldraver - have you actually read the OP?

Tell you IL's they can be given a fine for not using the correct restraints.

Oldraver - I bought them two booster seats a few years ago to keep in their own car. They just dont see the need to use them too often.

I have tried to tell them about points/fines etc. I think they think I am neurotic on this point.

not neurotic at all and after one incident where my dad walked past the car seat i had taken out of my car for him to use to collect my DS2 from nursery i went out and bought them two age apropriate car seats for their car. (ended up having to leave Docs to go and collect DS2 as nursery would not let my dad take him because he told them he had no car seat)!!! Big box of chocs to the nursery the next day. Dad really didn't think it would be a problem to travel with DS2 (only 2 at the time) on a twenty minute car journey from nursery to parents house. And he didn't understand why i was livid at him for even attempting it....