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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask someone else to host DD's party

37 replies

sevenkeystomysoul · 23/03/2010 11:38

DD's 3rd birthday is in the summer and I don't have a garden. I can't afford to hire somewhere and am considering asking my BF if we can have the party at her house, more specifically, in her vey big garden. She has 3 DCs, and there's always kids and people in and out of her house. Obviously, I would provide all food and clearing up, and the people invited would all be her friends and their DCs too, so nobody she doesn't know. I know BF loves a party, so this doesn't seem an unreasonable request, but would like others' opinions.

OP posts:

gingernutlover · 23/03/2010 14:11

i agree about the hall thing - dd had a hall party last year and we hired out local scout hut for £15 for 3 hours (to include tidy up time etc), have you got grandparents etc who would pitch in to help with the hire

if you know your friend really well and thinkshe wont feel put out by the request then ask - maybe you could offer to have her kids round to play another day as a thankyou, or offer an evenings babysitting as thanks (and obviously do all the food, tidying etc yourself too). You need to consider if she will want you all in the house if it rains though!

or what about a day out to the beach with a few friends instead.

TheCrackFox · 23/03/2010 14:11

I would be more than happy if a friend asked me.

Morloth · 23/03/2010 14:19

No harm in asking at all. My house in Oz has a quarter acre and we were often hosting other's parties as there was plenty of room for a bouncy castle/use the pool/decking etc.

If you are a good friends why not? Obviously take No for an answer if that is what she says.

dizzydixies · 23/03/2010 14:39

Morloth, please can we all fly over from NE Scotland and have a fortnight party at yours

Triggles · 23/03/2010 15:27

I don't think there is any harm in asking either. If we had a huge garden, and a close friend asked this of me, I would have no problem with it whatsoever. As long as you're paying the expenses involved, and are there to help with clean up and prep prior and clean up afterwards, I can't imagine she'd mind.

Just when you ask, do it in person, and make sure you're very clear that if she doesn't want to do it, you completely understand and that'll be the end of the discussion.

That being said, we have a small garden and adult DD has a very large garden - so we've come to an arrangement that family get togethers such as parties and barbeques over the summer will be at her place, but we have provided our barbeque grill, table (for set up and food), and will pay for food/drinks. She's perfectly happy with this.

Galena · 23/03/2010 17:07

I asked a friend to host DDs first birthday as her daughter is very allergic to cats an we have a cat, so she wouldn't be able to come. She was very happy to.

ChippingIn · 23/03/2010 18:59

If you know your friend would be happy to do this, I don't understand why you are reluctant to ask?

I would be happy to do it for any of my friends. (I'd be quietly praying for a sunny day though ).

Original poster

sevenkeystomysoul · 23/03/2010 20:05

It's just me, I don't like to ask favours, even in a case like this where I know BF would be happy to do it. I am daft, I know. Anyway, think I'll ask her dad to have it at his house (DD's dad that is, not BF's dad), it's hardly asking a favour of him, she's his DD too.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 23/03/2010 22:33

seven - well, tis your decision, but if it were me I would ask my friend.

In your post at 13.34 you list a lot of very good reasons not to have it at your DD's Dad's house.

On the other hand, your BF would be happy to do it, you'll all have a nice day - no brainer to me

hocuspontas · 23/03/2010 22:37

But why do you need a garden? Us with dcs born in the winter have parties inside. You don't need to go outside!

ChippingIn · 23/03/2010 22:43

I guess because not many of us would want to host a party for 3 year olds inside on a sunny day - when it's lovely and sunny they want to be outside playing not shut in the house - and I would assume, if she doesn't have a garden, it's probably not a large house.

EmilyStrange · 23/03/2010 22:44

Until you mentioned your dd had a brother I was half thinking I was the friend . I wouldn't mind in the slightest for a very good friend as long as she helped clear up afterwards.

However, I have been to a couple of park parties and they are really lovely and chilled. One had a little treasure hunt where the kids went round the hunt in twos or threes with one or two grown ups and it was all low key and fun.

Hope that helps. As someone else said you know your friend so can judge if and how to ask her.

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