To think that DH could help with dd1 a bit more on the mornings?

[ShinyAndNew]

He doesn't need to leave for work untill 10:30am. But unless I ask he just stays in bed untill 10am. He does keep dd2 with him though, so I don't need to deal with her just dd1.

If we are running late I ask him to help dd1 get dressed/find her things. I always have to nag him to get him to do this.

While he is not helping her I make her breakfast and packed lunch and get myself dressed.

This morning she had no knees in her tights, no boots on, her hair wasn't brushed and she didn't have a cardigan. He went back to bed . So I had to run around like a madwomen to stop us being late, as I had presumed she would be all ready to go by the time I was ready.

AIBU to think he should be getting up anyway to help during the most stressfull part of the day?

I probably am BU. He gets her up and dressed on a Wednesday because I work late on TUesday nights. But it just annoys me so much. Especially as he never has time to help in the house. He doesn't get home untill 9:45pm. But he would have time if he got up earlier on a morning.

He sounds like a typical bloke to me and unless he's asked, doesn't think to do it! LOL

I think maybe if you spoke about it to him and your feelings in a sensitive way after kids in bed tonight you can come up with a reasonable plan for future mornings? So you both take turns to have lie ins and share getting kids ready equally etc.

YANBU to think it but maybe a little unreasonable in the fact that he sounds like he is fairly helpful in the morning in many ways already...

I think you need to agree together what happens - there is no reasonable/unreasonable, just whatever you agree really.

There's no reason why your daughter shouldn't be getting herself ready though, is there, if she's school age. Only her hair should need your help. I actually prefer that dh is not very involved in mornings as he's away a lot so I have a robust routine going with the 3 girls, and if he interferes helps it can go out the window, and the long-term effect is they forget how to get ready by themselves.

Long-term, you need to take the stress out of mornings. Getting clothes out the night before can help (though I don't do this - they each get their own out), and making packed lunch the night before. I also find that getting dressed, hair done and shoes on before breakfast works wonders too. They are more biddable when they're hungry.

Good luck in working out how to make it work for your family.