to not want to go to my mothers wedding because my son is ill.

[shinyshoes]

My mother is getting married tomorrow, it's hardly loves young dream, theres a bit of history there and to be honest we are never going to be close.

I was going to take her, on insistance of my middle sister, it was fine by me, I was going to do a little bit of food (still am, she will be taking it to my mothers), to be honest she has pissed off so many people I'm suprised if any one turns up.

My middle son isnt well. He's not like my eldest that has man flu and bleeds from his eyes, he's the quiet type, so when he's quiet and withdrawn and pink in the face I know he isnt well.

He has spent the evening asleep on the settee and has gone to bed.

I have told both sisters I'm not going and I'm not prepared to farm him off to a relation when he isnt well (there isnt anyone I can farm him off to anyway)
My middles sister told her this afternoon and she threw a fit, told her she didnt believe me and hung up the phine.

I'd normally say it isnt about her, but its her wedding and it is all about her but my son comes first and I'm stopping home with him.

my eldest son is still going (hes 12) but i'm also keeping my 2 year old away, she's a bit of a handful and it'll be unfair to expect someone to restrain her from running off all the time which she likes to do

AIBU

Impossible to say without knowing more about "theres a bit of history there and to be honest we are never going to be close".

Sounds like there's a lot of politics there and you don't really want to go to the wedding anyway.

Only you know how ill your son is, and how bad the fallout will be if you don't attend the wedding.

I think illness is a very good reason to stay away from a wedding, though of course your mum might not see it that way.

How old is he? What's wrong with him?

I think if it's a bit of a virus/cold, I'd take him to his grandmother's wedding, even if I had to leave early. There must be much more to this!!!

YABU

Its a wedding. Your Mothers no less.

Most people will get married once or twice (that feels really wrong to type ) in their lives.

Imagine if this was someone you really loved, and were really happy for - would you go then?

Its up to you really, even if you're just using your son as an excuse I'm sure you have your reasons...but dont be surprised if others clock what you're up to and get pissed off about it.

sounds like shes not worth the bother TBH.

i know shes your mum but seriously, if my mum ever insinuated i faked that my child had an illness or was sick i would speak another word to her.
shows how little she thinks of you, and that she doesn't respect your a mother first and daughter second.

My mum isn't the nicest person, but she would never want me to do this, she would be shocked i had left my ill child to attend a wedding.

he's been laying on the sette shivering and he's very hot, I've given him Calpol and normally it'd take their temperature doen but it hasnt.
There is chicken pox going round the school.
I've looked but he dosent look as though he has that. It might just be some sort of flu virus.

My mother has alot of mental health issues, she was constantly going against medical advice and not taking her pills, she's been instatutionalised (I know i've spelt it wrong) 4 times since I was 10 years old until as recently as a year ago.
She's been a hurtful cow and said unpleasant things to all of us, I believe has nothing to do with the MH issues, more to do with her being a hurtful bitch.

This is the most I've tolerated her lately, the fella she's about to marry seems sensible for a change. I do love her, she's my mother, but I really cant be in the same room as her for long, it works both ways.

I actually had picked out an outfit and bought some accessories for my hair, I was even going to drive her to the venue.

But like I said my son is poorly and I dont want to leave him

your son is your main priority if he's ill, he's ill, surely she should understand illness doesn't try to be convienient for anybody.
my nan was recovering from cancer when i got married, she was well enough the day before to visit me, but wasn't on the actual day, i was sad but only because she wouldn't share my special day.
I never believed or thought for a second that she wasn't feeling unwell, and i would never dream of making her feel bad for not coming either!

Can you explain that DS may be coming down with a contagious illness and it would be unfair on the rest of the guests to expose them to his infection?

i'm happy to explain anything but she dosent believe me and to be honest I couldnt care less if she did or didn't I know my son is ill.

I'm wondering if I'm BU to be so 'meh' about not going. My son is my number one priority and I'd hoped she'd be a little more forgiving tbh

Thanks ladies, I was expecting a flaming tbh

YANBU

It doesn't sound like you are using this as an excuse and had planned to cancel all along anyway.

She obviously seems to believe that is the case, however, which probably isn't going to help your future relationship, but you already know that. Good luck.

YANBU.
She should be disappointed, not angry.
What else can you do without someone trustworthy willing to care for your ill boy? Leave him alone with fever? Bring him? SIBU.