I really need to know whether this is me or others....

[AliGrylls]

I have made a couple of really good friends recently - both are lovely, kind, intelligent and fun people who have the same values as me.

However, whenever they ask me how BabyGrylls is I answer quite honestly "oh he is fine, having a bit of trouble eating / sleeping etc, but he is happy" (he is actually always happy, even when sick). No matter what I say they seem to have advice for it.

AIBU in feeling a bit irked by this when I have not even asked for their advice, or should I just be a bit less honest and answer for him like I would answer for myself "oh, he is fine".

No you ANBU. Your last sentence sounds like the reaction you want to give so give it. I will also say that it takes along time to get to know people and even after that they can still surpise you !!

maybe they want to help you?

They may think that by volunteering that information, you would welcome their advice.

In future, like you say, just say "fine". Then there's nothing for them to offer an opinion on and all is well.

just say "fine thanks" then change the subject.

They're probably just making conversation, that's all. x

I find your OP quite odd, actually.

Surely they're just trying to be friends to you?? Don't friends want to help each other out? What if you were really struggling with colic, for example, and one of them had the tip that would actually make all the difference, but didn't tell you it, so you were left struggling on?

If you don't want a conversation about issues don't mention them! Just say something like "Oh, he's doing well, he's just started doing xxx" - that's still true, and keeps the conversation where you seem to want it.

But really, I find this weird. There are so many people out there who don't have friends who would take the time to try and help you out.

Whether you or others is what? Unreasonable? Neither in my opinion. It is human nature to offer advice and try and help when presented with a possible problem.

I know they are just trying to be nice, it's just that I hate people advising me.

If I want advice I will go to a dr / health visitor / someone who is qualified.

Am I weird for saying that?

Yes, you're weird for saying that. You live in a society.

Yeah you're wierd, you're the one with the issue about advice, they are not being odd, they are just being friendly and helpful.

I think you will just have to accept that this is what friends do, and if you don't want advice don't tell them your problems.

Or just ignore their advice, they are only mking conversation.

Let me get this straight. You're irked by your lovely, kind, intelligent and fun friends who have the same values as you, because they offer you advice when you tell them your LO is having a bit of trouble with something??

How bizarre.

YABU.

...and yes, a little weird!

You've just asked us for advice though

MN is full of professional busybodies though...

All I would say is Dr's / HV etc don't always have the answer but other people have ideas.

If a friend said to me I'm fine thanks but I keep being sick... I'd probably offer some advice. I know what it's like I have been receiving treatment for sinusitis which has been causing me terrible headaches. I have been hospitalised and a brain condition has been found but people still suggest cutting out caffeine, drinking water and saying it's probably migraines even when I have just explained what the neurologist and ear, nose and throat dr have said... Just human nature, people esp friends want to help..

I agree with other posters if you don't want to talk about something don't mention it - talk about something else your dc is doing.

Maybe they are just attempting to partake in a conversation with you.

How dare they!

They probably give better advice than a lot of health visitors, as well

tbh i think you are being a bit unreasonable - i am sure this is all well meaning, perhaps you feel a bit insecure and thats why it irls you so much as you feel a bit threatened?

anyhow, chill out chicken i reckon they are just trying to be nice

I think I know where you're coming from, OP. But like octopus said, some people are just fixers. Try to tone down the truth when they ask about your DC.

My neighbours are 'Only want to hear the positives' people; if they ask "How are you?" and you give anything but the most cheery response back, they come across as very seriously concerned. I have to totally censor what I say around them to avoid them becoming too perturbed/acting like the slightest problem is a huge one.

Good point BOF, however, it is different on here. If I want advice I ask for it and as you say mumsnet is full of professional busybodies. I am addicted. That is the start of my next thread.