..to not want my friends to badger confirmation of my early pregnancy out of me?

[cfc]

Went to a function at the weekend. I am 7 weeks or so and hubby and I are really pleased.

We have told two friends and our mothers because we were so excited but I have a (ridiculous, I know) fear of just turning up to the scan and there simply being nothing there - so I would prefer not to tell anyone until we've had our scan. I know things go wrong after the scan, but this is simply what I would like to do.

At this wedding, my friend who is baby mad kept on going on and on about it, why wasn't I drinking, eating the brie, why was I driving home when previously we'd booked into the same hotel etc. And she just kept on with me just laughing and saying "I'm not" and that DH had an early flight to Asia the next morn which was true.

AIBU to want my friends, who have had babies, to just wait until I tell them - I don't want to be badgered because I just don't want to lie to them, they are my friends! I will tell them when the scan is done, like I said above, I have this horrid thought of there just being nothing there, the tests were wrong and I was never pregnant!! Mad, I know. But it is the way I feel.

No it's not unreasonable (I had a very similar fear - completely ungrounded BTW!). If it's any consolation, we were going to get this pregnancy quiet for a bit, but then I fainted at an event on Saturday, so errmm... no, not so much!

Congratulations!

there is nothing more annoying and rude than nosey twats badgering you for info that is none of their buisness.

just bluntly tell people to butt out piss off.

or ask them endless amount of questions about their personal life, that would soon shut them up.

congratulations on the pregnancy.

I was the same - just because I wasn't drinking everyone assumed I was pg (we were, but so early I hadn't realised). I kept thinking, am I considered to be a heavy drinker? (Didn't think I was).

In fact, when we told friends, at 10 weeks, after an early scan, the friend who had gone on about me being pg the most was in fact gobsmacked. I thought she really knew.

YANBU

Very rude of friends to do this. They should understand there is a reason you have not told them, and not keep going on about it.

YANBU. But people will speculate regardless!
When my colleague was pg, all of us girls at work had figured it out before she had actually told her dh! We didn't say anything to her though, we did wait till she told us.
I do remember, in my previous job, one of my colleagues badgering another girl into telling her she was pg and I did feel so sorry for the other girl, you could see that she didn't want to tell but neither did she want to lie!.

Congratulations, by the way!

This winds me up beyond belief. My BF decided not to tell me until she had had her first scan (reasonable enough, I have no problem with that). However, she keeps saying things to me like "as soon as you are pregnant you will tell me won't you?" despite me having told her I would not. The other day I just snapped and said: "will I f**k, you didn't tell me!" It seems to have worked at the moment, but who knows how long it will last.

It's unfair of them to expect you to tell them when you are clearly not ready.

Congratulations and I hope it all works out.

YANBU at all - it's your right to decide when to tell people - I was most upset to be "outed" by a woman at work with my first pregnancy - it takes all the excitement away from it for you - and for goodness sake, if they're right in their predictions, it'll be all too obvious soon enough anyway! - I think most people have the fear about there not being anything there with the scan, so try not to worry and just enjoy this time.

I do know that before having children I wasn't that interested by anybody's pregnancy news, but since having them, I'm so excited when people I know are pregnant, so it's probably genuine excitement for you off your friends, without them thinking through that you'd like to choose when to tell people. that said, nothing worse than a wedding or Christmas to get through before the 1st 12 weeks of a pg are up!
Congratulations

No YANBU - I had the same with DS and it annoyed me rigid that I was having to lie about it because I didn't want to jump the gun and say I was! I'm very glad I didn't tell anyone before Christmas as I MCd at 8w; luckily no one here knows me so I didn't get the same badgering.

Hello, I had exactly the same thing and it really annoyed me - we were really worried as I'd had a lot of health issues and wanted to keep it to myself til at least 12 weeks, so it felt quite intrusive when people seemed to think they had a right to badger me about it. I wanted to tell them to eff off in the end! YANBU.

Oh, just a word of warning... when you are ready to tell people, half of them will turn around and say "yeah, I guessed!", which annoyed me even more!! Only my BF and my cousin had the good grace to give me the "gasp! oh that's wonderful news!" - everyone else made me feel like it was old news and totally burst my bubble!

(possibly a touch of hormonal over-sensitivity going on there, i confess!)

Congratulations and best of luck with the scan.

congratulations!
it will be fine, dont stress yourself about them. just say no, and say you're trying to be healthier because you've got signs of[insert mysterious ailment here...]

Normally I YABU this kind of thing as I think it's all a bit precious but in this case I think YANBU.

There are very good reasons why people choose not to spill the beans early on. Sure, if you're a certain age and not drinking your usual tipple then your friends will speculate amongst themselves but it isn't fair to ask you straight out.

I have it the other way round. Have told my friends (due to drink issue, also am very close to them) but no family yet. My mum saw a letter postmarked from the hospital and asked me what was wrong, I had to lie to her which felt awful.

It's a no win situation. Early pregnancy forces you to have to lie to your nearest and dearest, and they may well have guessed anyway. One more reason why I friggin well HATE early pregnancy. It's all pain and no gain at this stage. Roll on 12 weeks!!!

YANBU. I always think its a bit crazy for people to ask this question, and particularly to 'badger you'. If you're not announcing anything then they should respect that. Especially at a public event like a wedding.

I was worried this would happen when friends came to stay when I was 6 weeks pregnant. I knew they would clock that I wasn't drinking at all. But in the event they were both really polite and whilst I know they noticed I wasn't drinking, neither said anything at all about it. I know they will have their suspicions, but I just wasn't ready to say then, it felt far too early to be telling lots of people.

the assumption that if someone's not drinking they must be pregnant really irritates me anyway. While ttc I tried to cut back on alcohol, but if out with friends I felt like I had to at least order one glass just to avoid suspicions. I really didn't want people asking / suspecting when we had been ttc for a long time and were having to looking into fertility treatment.

anyway, congratulations!

OP I think YANBU-but do people know you were TTC?

I didn´t tell anyone until about 15 weeks & no one suspected a thing.

We-ell, I have to say it is really sweet that your friend is so excited by the possibility, so interested, so eager to be involved. Yes, they're being a pain but that is one of the privileges of friendship. You're being a little unreasonable to expect them to intuit your wishes about their speculation and perhaps missing the point that they're happy for you and delighted at the prospect of your 'happy news'.

I had exactly the same fear - I would turn up to the scan and there would be nothing in there and the doctor would send me away with a lecture on the birds and the bees! Happily that wasn't the case.

I never ever ask or even mention suspicions to anyone until its all official as I know how awful it is to have people badering you about it. I was outed by a woman at work and I was really really upset about it.

Its harder to keep it under wraps with your first one especially if you socialise a lot and suddenly stop drinking, as with me. My social life is so pathetic now I could probably gestate an elephant and no-one be any the wiser!

My best friend had 2 missed miscarriages. Both times she turned up for the scan and there was nothing there. A blank screen.

It's a legitimate concern.

Absolutely a legitimate concern - it happened to me. I had suffered a mmc, and all that was present at the scan was the sac. I def didn't tell anyone until after the scan when I conceived ds shortly after.

So, no, YANBU. Congratulations on your pg

YANBU

Definitely not BU, especially considering this friend has a child of her own and probably wanted to keep quiet herself ... you'd think she'd remember how she may have felt herself.

I've had IVF recently (don't test until Good Friday) but I haven't been able to keep it quiet at work because I have had time off at random times and people (i.e. women who have ALL had children of their own) have noticed and weren't polite enough not to push/ask for details so in the end I've had to say where/why I was off (even though I took annual leave) ... so if its successful people will know from the very beginning which I find upsetting (especially if, god forbid, anything went wrong).

PS: Forgot to say, congratulations !!