by declining a party invitation on the due date?

[renegadesoundwave]

Not sure if I'm being PFB about this one - I don't think I'm BU but you never know!

DH and his brother share a birthday; SIL wanted to organise a joint surprise party for both of them a couple of weeks beforehand (it isn't a 'significant' birthday for either of them, just a nice idea). Unfortunately this is the same date as I'm due to give birth to DC1. I know most first-borns are late and in fact MW has suggested DC1 may be early, but all in all I'd rather not go.

DH isn't keen on the idea either as he wants to be there for the birth rather than at a party with BIL's mates. We sort of assumed we'd been invited out of courtesy since SIL is perfectly aware of the due date (and they already have DCs of their own), so thanked SIL for invitation and said we wouldn't be going since party is on the due date.

Now SIL has 'helpfully' suggested we should have a party near the hospital 'just in case renegade needs to make a quick exit'. BIL's mates are now up in arms because it's further for them to travel. I still don't want to go - not relishing either being massive in front of strangers, going out five minutes after giving birth or having to politely excuse myself and remove discreetly to the hospital when labour starts.

SIL is a bit miffed that we're not going 'since it's in DH's honour as well and it would be so nice for her own DH to have a joint party'. AIBU to decline the invitation, or should I just 'suck it up' and say we're going anyway? (DH thinks SIL has gone mad, but maybe we're both being precious about it..)

It isn't necessarily wrong to party on your due date - I did (though had warned everyone that I might in fact not be there at all - or might have to leave suddenly, my MW had said, go if you feel up to it but take a labour bag and your notes - and DS actually didn;t appear for another 6 days.
But if you don't want to go then don't go. As to why your SIL is behaving like this - what's she like with you normally? Is it possible that she is trying to lay on a surprise baby shower at the party (and simply doesn;t get that some women at the end of PG just want to lie on the sofa), is she well-meaning but a bit clueless? Or does she like making everyone run around frantically trying to keep her happy and defer to her?

I went to a party on my due date for DS1 (he was born the next day)

I was fine and it was good to get out, but:

-It was very close to home and the hospital
-Neither I or DH has anything to drink
-We accepted on the understanding that we might not make it
-It wasn't a special occasion for either of us, we were just 2 of many guests.
-I enjoyed how impressed everyone was that we'd made the effort, which is entirely different to feeling pressurised to go

Does you SIL have children? Is she struggling with you having all the attention atm?

Daft.
Start moaning to her now about pg dicomforts, she can project from that how you are likely to be at 40 weeks.

Just say no!

Tell your DH to tell her he doesn;t want a party this year and to stop it in the bud now.

If she still goes ahead for a party for her own DH, then this is fine. You can still just decline.

I declined a family party, about an hour away, that was on my due date. There was no hard feeling and noone had expected me to go anyway. As it happened on the day I was so fed up as DD wasn't arriving I did actually go for a few hours and had a good time. But the key was it was my decision and there was absolutely no pressure n my to go, and I was able to just decide ont he day itself.

She sounds nuts tbh. Why plan a party specifically for the same date as your due date, when your husbands' birthdays aren't for another couple of weeks anyway? Sounds an 'interesting' character, as someone else said so wisely further up the thread.

Stick to your guns. Not PFB at all. Just very sensible not to commit to any firm plans around your due date.

YANBU.

I didn;t go to my brother's WEDDING becuase it was too close to due date and my family have a habiot of having early babies (and was actually 3 weeks before due date, although tunrned out to be less than a week before DS was actuallt born). Brother sulky, SiL (mother of 1), totally understood!

YANBU to not want to go, but rather because of the possibility of being tired/pissed off than actually giving birth. I think the chances of you going into labour in this small window on your due date is incredibly unlikely.

I went to an 18th birthday party the night before my due date with DD and a 30th birthday when I was 2 days overdue with DS, and had a great time!

As someone else suggested, I would tell SIL to plan the party for BIL and say you might go along if you feel like it on the day and are not otherwise busy in labour/with a newborn!

YANBU

your SIL is a fucking TWAT

there you go!