new relationships these days ...

[LetThemEatCake]

so my sister went on a first date on Fri night with a guy I used to work with years ago and am consequently FB friends with .. she always had a bit of a crush on him but back then the age gap was more relevant (she is now late 20s, he is mid 30s) ...anyway, they recently ran into each other and he asked her out.

The morning after, she texted me to say that they'd had the best time and were now "officially a couple". Within a few hours, they'd both changed their FB relationship status to reflect this.

Am I a total fuddy-duddy (am 37) for being a bit non-plussed? Back in my dating days, I would have probably have been on about 4 dates before referring to someone as "someone I was dating" and a good few more after that before referring to him as my boyfriend.

Is this just something that has come about bc of FB and similar sites, or are people today really more just "jump in with both feet" than they used to be? Or am I just wary, cold, suspicious and too reluctant to commit??

don't get me wrong - he is ace and if they are together for the long or even mid-term haul I am very very

I'd be more worried about the fact they live their lives on bloody facebook.

[hates facebook emoticon]

I wonder what that would look like? [ponders] A little yellow head, nutting a computer screen?

OMG - my sis totally lives her life on FB. Her previous engagement was documented & captioned in photos, frame by frame. Needless to say, her then-bf had forewarned her of his intentions

Like this?

I don't mind facebook, it is very handy for keeping up with people who live overseas.

But a status change that early on? Weird.

letc, I am with you

I totally despair when people rush through life and relationships at breakneck speed, documenting on MSN and FB all along the way

I am such a fuddy-duddy, but fgs why do people need to chronicle every kiss and every fart in this total "look-at-me" way

it is juvenile

I expect they are "soulmates" already

< sigh >

och , be happy for them.

I think a bit of both really - I am 21 and most people I know will decide to be "in a relationship" with someone or not on the first date, but then there is a whole world between being in a relationship and that relationship being serious, or thinking about moving in together, etc. And I would guess that the facebook status thing is just that they are both excited about it TBH I prefer to tell people about things first. It took me a couple of months after I left XP to change my relationship status to single on facebook becuse I wanted to tell people first.

Although it does strike me that I am thinking more about teenage relationships here when thinking about my friends and when we were all on facebook or myspace etc, a "relationship" still counted if it only lasted 2 weeks.

heck, I'm envious!

Lots of people consider it a 'relationship' after the first date and as long as they are discussing it with EACH OTHER there's no reason why one date can't be the acknowledged beginning of a relationship...
Of course, problems rapidly arise when one person thinks it's a relationship and the other one is thinking of it as just a date and no big deal.

It's perfectly possible to fall for somebody after one date (I know I did), but I wouldn't personally give a hoot about changing my facebook status because I'm not that enthusiastic about it. But I guess if you are, then it's no biggie.

It's actually possible to pretty much fall for someone before a date (that's what happened to me, though I'm cautious enough not to commit myself to describing it as 'we were going out' until we had at least arranged to meet up outside of his work).

I'm not sure about posting on Facebook mind, but then everyone has differing levels of outgoingness, and if htey were both planning on telling everyone everyway, maybe that's just the easier way of doing it. Saying that, I accidentally announced my engagement to my friends on Facebook, because I knew both perners had to okay it, and I thought my DP would take months to actually log back onto the site and realise. Unfortunately, he got an email notification, and the news was out before I realised. At least all the important people had known for a while anyway. (Or, in the case of my nans, don't have computers)

what a bloody humbug I am

I don't think it's a case of humbuggery, I think it's more a case of what you're used to.

My paternal grandmother still hasn't caught onto DVDs, and digital television is something she can only use because my Dad bought her the freeview-equipped television and plugged/tuned it in. She still only watches the 'terrestial' channels though. She will never own a mobile phone, computer or sat-nav, and complains how microwaves today are so much smaller than they used to be, and how you can't get a joint of meat in one to leave overnight. [good-tempered eye rolling] She also really can't grasp the concept of a cordless phone.

My other grandmother who is only two years younger has Sky and a mobile phone (which, admittedly, she keeps switched off and is solely for 'emergencies' or something.. [more eye-rolling!])

I wouldn't say either of them are humbuggy, just that they're adapting to newer technologies in different ways. My mum has a computer and a laptop but uses AOL and gets my sister to type out documents for her. My Dad is on facebook infrequently, and wants to set up a server in his understairs cupboard so he can access his music files from around the world if he so wishes. They're pretty different in terms of how they use and embrace technology too.

My sister runs a webcomic intermittently on a webpage she designed and hosts on her own server. my brother plays with people around the world on XBox live. I couldn't do the former, and I worry somewhat about the latter, but then I chat to people on a forum who I've never met but who I help advise through good times and bad (and not just this one!).

Technology develops at a frightening rate, and the way which we use or choose not to use it is entirely up to us. I wouldn't be comfortable meeting someone through an online dating agency, yet my Dad has done exactly that, and met someone wonderful. On the other hand, I'm happy to utelise Facebook to keep in touch with friends, and let them know what's going on, because it's convenient. I say it's more personal taste than humbuggery!

OMG, just realised what a lecture I wrote! Sorry!

haha, i refused to update my facebook (it always feels a bit like boasting!) untill i found out i was pregnant.
"oh well, i'd better admit that we are a couple now"

yes, teacher !

and I suspect you are calling me elderly too

Gah, I hate this. I've always dated before announcing that I was in a relationship, but my peers (all 20/21) just go on one date and suddenly they're engaged, it's nuts! And the facebook thing annoys me too, a hell of a lot of the girls I went to school with have children and are pregnant again. All announced on FB shortly after doing a test. Really?! I thought that it was normal to wait a few months, make sure everything's going okay, tell your family and close friends and then annouce it if you have too, not do test, type status sayingt hat one is doing test and then update all via status to test results.

Facebook hadn't been invented yet when I started going out with DH but we'd known each other for a couple of years before I eventually relented went on a date with him and so it seemed more 'serious' much earlier on and we started looking for a place of our own after about 3 months. It didn't seem quick to us at the time - it felt normal and 'right'. Probably the same for your sister and this guy - they know each other, they've clearly liked each other for a while - it's not as though they just met on Saturday night!