to be fed up with dh being over sensitive etc after a few beers....

[issysmilkbottle]

dh goes for a few beers several times a week and often has beers at home {another issue...}

What really annoys me is that he becomes so hyper sensitive and thinks everything i say is a snide comment/having a go at him and accuses me of not paying attention to him despite me being knackered... We have a 17 week dd and i have a 10 year old ds, he talks utter bullshit, repeats himself and doesnt listen... I am not snide or nasty to him, aibu to want him to shape up and get his head out of his own rear end???

No YANBU but it sounds like you need to have a proper (sober) chat. He obviously has things in his chest that, being a man, he can't communicate without being drunk. You know what they're like! Not saying his complaints are legitimate but it's so easy to stop seeing eye-to-eye when you're knackered and overwhelmed with parenting. It's important to keep an eye on how you are as a couple (and as the woman that generally falls to you,sadly, since you are the one with a degree of emotional literacy. ) That's my tuppence worth, anyway.

Have you any way to record his drunken ramblings conversation and play them back to him when he's sober? And listen to them yourself when you're not so knackered to see if you think you'd react differently if less tired?

And frankly, it sounds as if he spends too much time with his beers. I'm translating 'several times a week' to 3+, which for a new dad suggests not enough time spent with HIS new baby, supporting his knackered DW.