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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel guilty for not saying anything

7 replies

Notalone · 20/03/2010 14:38

Ds has swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There are various classes on at the same time so when the lessons finish there are about 35 kids all needing to use the 8 communal and 2 cubicled showers.

As I was waiting for DS to come out I heard raised voices and saw an altercation going on between a mum I vaguely know (her DD used to be in DS's class at his old school) and another mum who I don't know. The mum I don't know was basically standing in front of one of the shower cubicles refusing to move or let anyone else in as she was saving it for her daughter. Meanwhile the mum who I know a little bit had her younger Ds standing shivering needing to get in the shower but the woman refused to move and let him use it even though her daughter had not yet left the pool. The mum blocking the door got really nasty and was threatening to hit the other mum saying she can stand where she wants and no-one had the right to tell her to move.

I told one of the staff what was going on and the mum being threatened also went to the manager but nothing was done. I didn't want to step in (unless I had to) because I am there every week and sometimes that peaceful half hour is the only time I get all day to study (I am a mature student)and I don't want to have to watch my back every week. However, if I had been in that situation I think I would maybe have liked someone to stand up for me.

Was I wrong to not say anything to this awful woman?

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 20/03/2010 14:40

No- I think you were right to report it to staff, but she doesn't sound as if she is the kind of person who would have budged an inch whether you said something to her or not! You would probably just have gotten dragged into a slanging match

cornsilk · 20/03/2010 14:42

what a nutter! Think you did the right thing.

issysmilkbottle · 20/03/2010 14:42

yes you were wrong not to say anything. As you say, you'd expect someone to help you....

diddl · 20/03/2010 14:45

I think I would have done what you did,OP.

She should be banned!
Blimey,the other child could have showered in that time!
Crazy!

Actually, I would take issue with her being able to stand where she wants when she is blocking a facility.

Notalone · 20/03/2010 14:54

She was truly horrible. When the other mum walked off the other mum asked her friend to wash her DD who had just got out of the pool so she could follow the mum who had complained. She came back a minute later ranting about the fact she was speaking to the manager and who did she think she is etc etc.

I wanted to say something, I really did but self preservation kicked in and I didn't want DS to see me in a slanging match, nor did I want me peaceful half hour ruined forever afterwards I think she knew I had said something though because I was rewarded with a lovely glare as I left with Ds.

OP posts:
nubbins · 20/03/2010 15:20

You don't need to feel guilty for not saying anything.

It's the same with my dd and her lessons, mums saving cubicles for kids. It drives me up the wall. But I wouldn't do anything other than report it to the staff. Though I have on occasion moved clothes that have been left in cubicles to 'save' them so my dd could change.

MeMudmagnet · 20/03/2010 16:18

I've moved clothes and bags out of cubicles before too and left them outside the door. I then have to listen to all the ranting from the mad women.

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